Marriage is not an achievement

There is this persistent notion that getting married which I find a hitch is an achievement. My opinion could sound somewhat controversial. Nevertheless, marriage is not an achievement.

I came across a post on Facebook and I just had to stop and read. It actually touted marriage as an achievement.

The article shamed video vixens who expose their bodies in music videos and ultimately when musicians have to choose a wife material, these video vixens don't make an appearance on the musician's scale of preference.

Yes! I am talking about Stonebwoy's marriage controversy

Normally, I would have dismissed this article with a quick upward swipe because it just seems so obvious. Getting married is not an accomplishment.

It is very unfair why people are bashing video vixens for not being the choice of artists as well as so-called decent men.

What people forget is that, like any other career, being a dancer or an entertainer is a profession. There is a clear cut difference between lifestyle and profession.

This whole issue where we have the "un-wifeable" video vixens on one side and the smart, dentist wife material on the other HAS TO DIE

What is even funnier is that while people insult the women in his music videos for not getting chose, they also mock the doc for choosing him

I am not putting on any sense of chauvinism but why don't you chastise all the male dancers and entertainers when female artists marry outside their professions? So backward!

Two events made me stop to read the article and a third prompted me to write this column about the persistent notion that getting hitched is an achievement.

In the 1950s, women were primarily housewives and getting married was typically the end goal. Those days when women were not allowed to work, borrow money or own property and needed a man for everything from financial security to a roof over their heads are over.

In today’s society, women are balancing much more than just finding a man.

Women are endlessly working to climb up the corporate ladder. Although some of these women may be married, their definition goes beyond their last name.

People mostly get questioned much more about their relationship, marriage or engagement than their job or related accomplishments which are very unfair.

Honestly, I can’t fault anyone for wanting to know more about my relationship status than my career, because I find myself guilty of the same situation.

After all, those expertly crafted commercials and advertisements on the importance of a woman to get a ring put on her finger have influenced us all.

You could still see marriage as a milestone worth celebrating, but this is why I think it is not an accomplishment.

Anyone can get married

There is no fast rule about getting married. You do not need any talents or qualifications to get married. All you need is a willing partner and you are good to go. There are times that you have seen some of your friends’ husbands and shook your head.

You do not need validation

Sometimes people count it all joy when they find that partner willing to put a ring on the finger. People mostly settle in because they do not want to be single shamed. They tend to view marriage as something worthy of cracking open the champagne and screaming out how special it is to be engaged. But wait! what about life after the champagne? Starting a life journey with someone is exciting but it should not validate you. You do not need marriage to realize your worth.

You have more important goals

Marriage could be cool but it’s not defined as a goal. It’s basically a choice between two people who want to spend their lives together. Remember your goals depend on nobody but you. Those goals are achieved with your skills and talents.

No one is going to complete you

Will you stop making those unnecessary comparisons or references? Making marriage your most important goal could cause you to wait for the ship at the airport. You do not need that partner to make you feel like a complete person. And the reason is simple, you’re already a complete person. You feel like a failure if you do not get married, that is bullshit.

You can be happy without the ring

Marriage is never the recipe for happiness. You can have a successful career and a really awesome life without a ring. It is weak of you to feel perturbed at the marriage questions thrown at you at dinner parties or weddings. It is not relevant placing too much focus on marriage as being the ultimate achievement; it should not shadow other goals and successes in life.

Once again, I must reiterate that getting married is absolutely a huge event, and it could be very exciting to find your “other half.” However, the ring should not define a woman.

You must also be excited when women land the management position, get their Master’s degree, or open their own business.