Many spouses stay long hours from home and this makes it necessary for some couples to bring in someone to help maintain the home.
Most housekeepers are young adolescent girls. The fact is a housekeeper always makes an impact on marriage. She may build it, destroy it or even take over the marriage.
A housekeeper is supposed to support a family but most wives can’t draw the line. They coerce their housekeepers to do everything in the home.
She wakes up very early in the morning and sleeps late. She cleans the home and cooks for everyone including ‘daddy’ while the wife relaxes over a drink for meals to be ready.
The housekeeper washes the clothes, underwear and even the panties of ‘daddy.’
She washes his bed sheet, irons it and makes the bed. Gradually the ‘madam’ hands over her marriage unawares, and this is happening in many homes in Ghana.
Village girl takes over marriage
She came in almost an illiterate and had never used any modern facility in the home including potable water, electricity and water closet. She was however very intelligent and picked up fast.
She was very hardworking and respectful. She did everything in the house and took great care of the kids. The new lifestyle revealed her natural beauty.
Meanwhile the ‘madam’ was too busy and could be away for days. She was very rich but very disrespectful to her husband. There were telltales since she had many lovers.
In the end, ‘daddy’ gave the housekeeper ‘belle’ and moved out of the house with her. The village girl has upstaged ‘cash madam’ and taken over her marriage. The man is excited about his new marriage.
Advice to women
When you marry you become a wife. First you must submit to your man and this includes respecting him.
If you disrespect your man you break down his ego and he tries to restore it by taking someone he can control because she shows great respect. A housekeeper fills up that need.
Create space in your marriage and put your man first in all you do. This means you make time to take care of all the needs of your man. Show interest in all he does and be his cheerleader.
Make your man feel he is a wonderful person and that you love him. ‘Big’ women who are disrespectful and claim independence and self-sufficiency are easy victims for housekeepers.
Be attractive because men are visual animals who love to see beautiful women. Romance your marriage and keep your man interested in you by your kind words, deeds and actions.
Never lower your guard. If you think your man is ‘big,’ honourable and spirit-filled and therefore could never fall for a housekeeper think again.
Fact is while it takes hours and even days for a woman to be sexually aroused it takes only an average of 90 seconds for a man to be aroused.
The sight of any woman can trigger arousal and sadly when a man is aroused his brain moves from his head and relocates between his legs. He can’t think again till he has finished what he started and then thinks satan tempted him. Men!
If your housekeeper is doing your entire God-ordained marital duties, chances are she is taking over your marriage. If you want to avoid being a victim be alive to your responsibilities. Put your man first and make time for him.
Be his helpmate. Love and respect him unconditionally. The more you respect your man the more he loves you and ignores other women.
If you treat your man like a king he will treat you like a queen and will not settle for less.
By: Dr John Boakye