"If your husband's abs or your wife's bust really get your engine revving, then feel free to shout it from the rooftops or from your bedroom".
1. Someone else's name
It's A-OK — and even healthy, according to experts — to have a sexual fantasy or two. But when you're getting down with your spouse in real life, it's not OK to whisper the names of other men.
Nothing shakes someone's sexual self esteem like not being acknowledge for who you are. And while sharing your fantasies with your partner is important, couples should be sensitive to your partner about content that might hurt their feelings.
2. What you've got to do — i.e., the laundry
When it comes to dirty talk, it's best to avoid discussing the dirty dishes. Avoid mundane discussions about the kids or honey-do lists. Your private, sexy time should be a sanctuary from all of that. Stick to the right script, by staying present. If you focus on the moment and sensations you are less likely to get distracted by other thoughts. Plus, the more present and positive you can keep your verbalizations the better it will be for you and your partner.
3. Complaining about what isn't working
Not all sex is of the explosive, fireworks variety. But there are other more positive ways to communicate your needs than pointing out what's not going well. If you focus on what doesn't feel good rather than what makes your toes curl n all the right ways, she warns, what you say could really negatively affect your lover's confidence.
So make sure you communicate to your partner what is working and you'll soon see your partner giving you more of what works well.
4. How your partner looks — in the negative
If your husband's abs or your wife's bust really get your engine revving, then feel free to shout it from the rooftops or from your bedroom. But don't be critical of the way your lover looks. Saying such things can not only be a buzz-kill, but can be hurtful to your partner.
So if your spouse is sporting a look you don't dig, focus on what you do love about his or her looks. Making occasional eye contact during sex can help you stay connected. It also builds a sense of intimacy.
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5. Heavy relationship issues
Neither regular ol' Wednesday sex nor makeup sex is the time to bring up your bickering or when you'll finally buy that first home.
Allow the time to be sacred, rather than bring up your issues in the moment, post-coital discussions during cuddle time are more appropriate, according to brides.