How flavoured condoms can save you from horrible BJs!

Portia Arthur

February 1, 2016 4:29 PM

"Many men don’t seem to care at all about how they smell down there"

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Something just crossed my mind this morning while listening to a Jesse J song on YouTube. The song brought on thoughts about playing with myself when I get home today. Somehow, I thought about flavoured condoms too.

It hit me, flavoured condoms are not for the vagina to smell like banana. They are flavoured to create the illusion of a penis that can be eaten. God why hadn’t I thought of this before?

My mind went back to all those unpleasant BJs I had to give. The guy smelling exceptionally like ball sweat and the uncomfortable feel of pubic hair on my tongue! All of this unpleasantness could have been avoided. I could have been tasting strawberry or banana instead.

I remember an instance where I almost puked on a guy's dick. He was so salty and sweaty, it made me feel sick. I don’t understand why a guy would ask for a blow job when he's quite sure he's peed at least once already.

I don’t ask for cunnilingus if I know I haven’t hit the showers. Hell, I won’t even feel anything due to the self-consciousness. My mind will be going places like 'Do I smell bad? Is he uncomfortable? Should I make him stop?' I deliberately kiss guys right after they have gone down on me just so I can be sure, I am smelling right.

Many men on the other hand, don’t seem to care at all about how they smell down there. There is this illusion that only women can smell bad if they don’t keep a proper genital hygiene. Guys, don’t hold on to the illusion that your sexual organs can never smell bad. You know it smells horrible when you don’t take your regular showers.

I have decided I won’t give a BJ when a man is sweaty and hairy down there, I don’t care how hot he is. Please take a shower or a least kill the smell with a flavoured condom.

By Pure Drama

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Portia Arthur