According to these catchwords, in romantic relations, it would be best if partners desist from digging up the past.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. The past is past and gone. Forgetting the things behind and moving on to those that ahead. These creeds, and others like them, extol the essence of letting bygones be bygones.
According to these catchwords, in romantic relations, it would be best if partners desist from digging up the past. But isn’t it valid to want to know about your partner’s sexual and relationship history? At what point does the need to know turn into snooping?
What do you think about resurrecting the ghosts of the past? We posed these questions to some readers, and below some of their responses.
Sonia: I’d like to know those aspects of my partner’s history which are relevant to our relationship. I’d want to know, for example, if he has a baby from any of his past relationships.
I’d also like to know if he still has feelings for any of his exes. Besides these, everything else is in the past and irrelevant to our relationship.
Offei: I’ve been hurt pretty badly by someone who hadn’t gotten over her ex by the time we got together. It was a rough experience; before then I didn’t pay much attention to whom my girl had been with, or to what they did.
Now, I care; I want to be prepared for any unpleasant surprise, so I ask straight out where you’ve been, who you’ve been with and what you did. That way, I know what I am walking into.
Fatima: What I do not know cannot harm me; my imagination is creative enough on its own. Knowledge about my partner’s potentially hot ex isn’t something I want to deal.
All I need to know is that my boyfriend doesn’t have an STD; beside that sweet ignorance is my best friend.
Bruwaa: I can’t stand not knowing about things, so the relationship history of my partner is very important to me. Full disclosure is an integral part of relationships; at least it is to me.
I must know who my partner has been with; I must know how many people they’ve been with, why they broke up, and I must know if it is really over.
Hell, I want a vivid description of his ex looked like, and I won’t mind asking for pictures to aid my curiosity if I have to.
By Dede Williams