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Are you having an unexciting sex life? –3 ways to spice things up!

Are you one of the people who has to have sex according to a time table? If you actually take the time to ask your partner if they want to be intimate with you every single time, you may be doing more harm than good.

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Spicing things up in the bedroom may improve more than just intimacy with your partner, it can also do wonders for your relationship in general. “You have to spice things up” is probably one of the most common advice given to long-term couples who are experiencing some level of bed death.  It is always a great idea to spice things up even if you don’t consider your sex life boring, but what if you are so used to what you do all the time and are not sure just how to spice things up?

Be Spontaneous

Are you one of the people who has to have sex according to a time table? If you actually take the time to ask your partner if they want to be intimate with you every single time, you may be doing more harm than good.  Asking first can make being intimate seem more like a chore than something that should bring you pleasure.  Consider just leading your partner to the bedroom or wherever you would like to have sex the next time you think about some sweet love. *wink* Being spontaneous however is more than not asking for sex before it happens. There are several ways to exhibit spontaneity in a relationship. Have sex at a different times, it doesn’t always have to be in the dark after 10pm, different dates, it doesn’t always have to be on Friday nights, try Sunday mornings sometimes. How about different places? Use the rooms in your house, the kitchen, the ironing room, the living room. Eat something either than food on that dining table!

Engage in Foreplay

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Unfortunately, many couples do not realize that intimacy is more than just about having sex.  It is also about having a happy and healthy relationship.  If you rely on sex to make your relationship succeed, there is a very good chance that it will actually fail. Do you compliment your partner? Do you look into their eyes and smile at them? Do you touch them lustfully? Do you plant kisses all over their body? If it is pants down and action all the time, you and your partner need to learn how to engage in foreplay tonight. Keep your pants on for a while or maybe not but don’t be in a hurry to plunge in and hump away. Remember that foreplay doesn’t have to start in the bedroom.  Call your lover; send a flirty text message, leave a hand written note on the bathroom mirror. Make them want you so badly, if you know what I mean.

Talk About Your Fantasies

One of the biggest reasons why couples have problems with sex is because one or both persons aren’t having their desires fulfilled.  If that is the case with you, does your partner know what you like or what you want to get out of being intimate?  If not, it is time for you to let them know. Be sure to talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies and desires. So, what would you like to try in the bedroom?  A new sex position, sex toys and role-playing?  These may not only lead to extra pleasure, but fun and excitement. As you express your wants and darkest fantasies, be sure to encourage your partner do the same.  Sex is a failure when both partners do not walk away from an intimate encounter completely satisfied. Your partners comfort and pleasure should always be as important as yours.

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