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Madonna just shared a video of her anti-aging routine and we're so confused

On Tuesday, the 59-year-old pop icon posted an Instagram video spotlighting an unusual element of her beauty regimen.

On Tuesday, the 59-year-old pop icon posted an Instagram video spotlighting an unusual element of her beauty regimen. In the video, Madonna is getting a facial from her esthetician, Skillets, who is using two long-pronged forks to massage the singer's face. According to Madonna, this tightens the skin.

"Have you ever tightened your face with a fork?" asks Madonna in the video, which is all-around bizarre: She selected a filter that gives her lavender-tinged bangs, a blue bow headband, and a cartoonishly squeaky voice. That last one makes her subsequent question all the more strange: "Have you ever stabbed someone with a fork? I've done both."

Okay, Madonna.

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In a recent interview with Vogue, Madonna spilled more of her beauty secrets. On an ideal day, the pop start said, "I would wake up and put my eye mask on. I would lay there for a little while and take the rose mist spray—I wouldn’t get out of bed—and then use my Cryo-Sticks [refrigerated, stainless-steel wands intended to de-puff skin and cut redness], which I store in the freezer. Then, I’d lay there for 10 or 20 minutes, until my puffy eyes go down, while I’m served coffee, of course." She also uses a clay mask on all dry body parts ("even my butt") and swears by oxygen treatments to keep her skin hydrated.

Think forks are crazy? Here are some other DIY beauty trends women have tried:

She also launched a new luxe skin-care line, MDNA, in September. She promoted her products by by giving Jimmy Fallon a facial on the Tonight Show using her signature Chrome Clay Mask. "Your skin will be glowing," she promised. "It's going to blow you away."

So there you have it, everyone. Madonna's not a vampire—she just has a really, REALLY intense skin-care routine.

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