All relationships do not end at the altar. There might even be more relationships that failed to reach that landmark than relationships that do.
Point is, relationships end all the time. It’s part of the cycle that some of these relationship would end. And when they do, it is not the end of the world. One would have to dust it off and move on to the next.
However, some people never really dust off the memories of their exes, or get over the feeling of being with that person before trying to go be with someone else.
When you get with someone who has yet to move on from an ex; this is how you will know.
1. The won’t shut up about them
This is likely the most blatant pointer to the presence of residual feelings for an ex. When someone you are in a relationship with keep speaking about their ex and the things they had with them, it gets awkward and it’s often likely that they are still pining for him or her.
That is not to say they can’t ever mention them here and there. Incidental mentions shouldn’t be any trouble. It is the incessant, recurrent name dropping that’s often problematic.
Imagine a partner talking about how better their ex was, right to your face. Crazy, right? It is both disrespectful for a partner to do this and it’s just as bad for them to insinuate that you are a level below that other person.
Even if it’s true, it still isn’t something to be said. If your partner doesn’t even care about you and feels OK with making you feel less than their ex, it could be another way to know that they rate them higher than you and may low-key still be wishing they were with that person rather than you.
3. They still talk. A lot.
This is also another uncomfortable thing to deal with in a relationship, no matter how you view it. Although some people manage to remain friends with their exes and that may be acceptable by their partners depending on the nuances of the breakup and the present relationship.
Regardless of this, having a partner talking to an ex so much when they are with you should actually bother you.
4. Always defensive of the ex
On this, Weena Cullins, a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist and relationship expert, tells INSIDER that "if someone constantly feels the need to defend their ex, specifically at times when their ex isn't the center of conversation it could mean that they aren't quite over them.”
If they won’t create and enforce boundaries when it comes to the ex, too, it is something to be bothered about. No ex should have access to your partner as if they are still together.
5. Make your relationship an extension of the previous one
Tara Vossenkemper, a therapist and the founder and clinical director of The Counseling Hub, Columbia, South Carolina says "if your partner keeps trying to get you to do very specific things and then saying things like, ‘that's what me and [ex] used to do,’ then you need to take pause.”
She tells Bustle further that “building new memories with your partner is different than recreating memories you used to have with an ex.
“One is meaningful and organic. The other is sad and full of baggage."