Celibacy: How to have the best sex after a long break

Sex isn't just fun. It's good for every adult.


At some point, most people will enter a dry spell in their sex lives, where they go quite some time without having sex.

But when the spell is over, how do you go back to being the pro that you were?

Below is what to know:

What happens when you don’t have sex

Regular sex improves the immune system and prepares the body to fight off illness by releasing endorphins. This means that having sex less often might result in more frequent illnesses, like the cold or flu. A study reported that saliva samples of college students who had regular sex were found to have a higher concentration of certain antibodies called immunoglobulin A, which fight the common cold.

Experts link sex starvation to cardiovascular health. Being a source of exercise, sexual intercourse helps keep your estrogen and progesterone levels in balance, which can lower your risk of heart disease.

Also, having sex releases endorphins and the hormone oxytocin into the body. These neurochemicals can help manage the effects of anxiety or stress. Oxytocin has the additional benefit of helping you sleep. If you do not have sex regularly, your body may release these hormones less often, which might make it more difficult to cope with stress.

How to be at your A-game after a break

Having sex after a long break can bring up a mix of emotions – it can feel daunting, exciting and everything in between. The main thing is to be sure you want to have sex and that it’s the right time for you and your partner.

Here's how to have great sex after celibacy:

  • Communicate what you want

Talking about sex with a new partner is a must. To have good sex, you need to communicate your wants, needs, and desires to your partner.

  • Foreplay

The more aroused you are, the better sex is likely to feel, so don’t neglect foreplay — including oral sex, manual sex, and, yes, good, old-fashioned kissing.

  • Take the pressure off of orgasming

The sole purpose of sex does not need to be experiencing an orgasm, especially if it's after a long break.

Sure, it’s great—and should be something both partners actively work toward as they become more familiar with their own needs, but take the pressure off. Think about sex as a way to connect with your partner on a deeper level.

  • Take your time

No matter how busy you are, sex is one part of your day that you shouldn't rush. Don't skimp on the foreplay. Those extra minutes that you spend touching and kissing each other help get you aroused and make sex more pleasurable. When you slow down, you also get more time to spend with your partner. That's good for your relationship overall.

  • Try something different

Spice up your sex life by stretching your boundaries as a couple. Touch each other in new ways. Try out different sex positions to see which ones feel best.

Move from the bed to the floor, the bathroom, or the kitchen counter. Watch a dirty movie together. Bring sex toys like a vibrator, anal beads, or feathers into the mix.

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