4 things to do after a break up

Moving on after a relationship ends takes some work. It doesn’t matter if you wanted the break up or not, it can bring a lot of hurtful and unnerving feelings to the surface. Even if you pretend around everybody that it is fine, there will be times when you are alone and you have to face your true feeling. When two people spend a lot of time together, they form a connection and sometimes this connection is not obvious until they are not in your life anymore. After a break up, be patient with yourself, healing takes time.

Allow yourself to mourn

Don’t pretend you are fine when you are not. Allow yourself to grieve over the end of your relationship. Cry. Listen to Adele and cry some more. Write a long note about how you truly feeling. Talk to your friends. Accept all your feelings as they are, whether it is anger, frustration, humiliation or hurt. The time to deal with your emotions is now, otherwise you will find that ten years later, when your partner has moved on, you are still carrying all this negative emotions around like a backpack. Get pride out of the way and let yourself feel the pain, it will last only for a while.

Give your confidence a kick

Many people walk away from a break up with their egos a little bit bruised. Some people can be very mean during a break up. It goes without saying that it is better to handle a break up in a healthy mature way. There is no need for name calling and other such hurtful things. Yet, if you experience a nasty break up, remember not to take the mean things your partner said to heart. Look into the mirror and tell yourself the truth, you are lovable and awesome! Don’t let your confidence go with your ex. Know that you can survive without them and you are enough. If you don’t find ways to boost your ego, you are more likely to stay down imagining that no one wants to be with you. Dress up and go hang out with friends. Check yourself out in the mirror.

Don’t become a stalker

Stalking her on social media will only make things worse. I know there is a huge tempting to do this, you want to know if she is hurting as much as you are. You want to know if there is a new man in her life. Stop it. You are already broke up, let it go. If you must unfriend, unfollow or block, do it. The more you make your life about them and what they are doing, the more likely it is that you are still exactly where she left you or are at an even worse place. You need to let the pain out, that is the point of mourning and when you are done, you need to remind yourself that will you find someone else, soon enough. You are not that creepy person who is follows their ex’s every move, don’t make your life about your ex.

Give yourself a break

Try not to make any major decisions right after a break up. It is better to wait until you’re feeling less emotional. Don’t yield to the temptation of jumping into another relationship. For your own sake and for the sake of whoever you get involved with next, make sure that you have healed and you are not just trying to recreate your past relationship. Don’t enter a new relationship to only to avoid grieving. Get into a new relationship only when you are ready. Cultivate new friendships if you have to, if you miss companionship, spend time with family or a friend. Create a life you are happy with all by yourself before you invite someone to share in it, then they can only make life better.