Does hooking up on the first date ruin a potential relationship? Here are all the pros and cons

It’s about how you feel and what you’re most comfortable doing.

Couple in bed

Unfortunately, we are still worried about whether it’s OK for two consenting adults to have sex on the first date, but here we are. Or that being sexual when and how you want to means you can't find lasting love.

Truth is not every couple you see waited for at least three dates before sleeping together.

Sex on the first date is not a relationship killer. In fact, in some cases, it can actually help you figure out whether or not you and the person you’re with are a good fit. What guys think about sex on the first date or what society tells you is best doesn’t matter — it’s about how you feel and what you’re most comfortable doing.

Are there creeps out there who will hold your sex-positivity against you? Of course. But you wouldn’t want to go long-term with someone like that anyway. If they are freaked out or judgmental about your sexuality, those insecurities will likely show up in a long-term relationship with them.

  • Is it a bad idea to have sex on the first date?

Not every date has to lead to a full-on relationship — sometimes it’s fun to just hook up. “I think that people don’t say that enough to women, that it’s OK if you just want sex.

there’s nothing wrong with choosing to have sex as long as you are comfortable with it.

going into your hookup feeling really led or charged or shamed by those narratives won’t yield much for you. And if you choose not to [have sex on the first date], that’s also OK. Having lots of information and awareness, grace, and self-compassion is what you need when making that decision for yourself.

Sleeping with someone on the first date may actually tell you that there is no connection there, so I guess technically it could ruin the relationship, but no more than discovering any other incompatibility. And honestly, wouldn’t you rather know sooner than later?


However, while the taboo about sex on the first date is fading, some experts still warn against it for various reasons. One thing to consider is how leading with sexual chemistry can sometimes cloud your judgment.

Does having sex on the first date completely doom any and all potential for a relationship down the road? Of course not. Again, the most important thing is to do what feels right and comfortable for you.

  • How you should proceed after having sex on the first date?

If you choose to hook up on day one, it needs to be because that is what you want, not because of outside pressure or a sense of obligation. It's totally fine to have sex purely for pleasure without feeling romantic attraction for them or being in a relationship with them.

You might be physically and sexually attracted to a person, but simply don't see a future with them. You might not be looking for or have time for a serious and committed relationship. It's okay because it's your body and your prerogative.


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