10 ways you know you’re in a toxic relationship

Portia Arthur

March 3, 2016 10:32 AM

You will feel less and less able to offer your own opinion or suggestions on a subject without causing an argument. You find being quiet and submissive is an easier approac

Unhappy African couple

Your partner probably won't like you spending too much time with your friends, or your family, or in fact anyone who isn't them. They may even encourage you to do other things that take you away from your social circle. They will certainly seem unhappy, perhaps sulky if you want to spend too much time away from them.
They might inject ideas as to how you should dress, present yourself or maybe even behave. They will suggest that they are making you a better person. Of course this is a one-way street, please do not think you can criticise
You will feel less and less able to
You might find that they are beginning to make make cutting and derogative comments about your appearance that leave you feeling bad about yourself. This will be lifted slightly when they give you occasional
You might find that your partner is quite happy to flirt with members of the opposite sex, but takes objection to you getting upset. Yet if you do the same, you can expect fireworks on a major scale!
They might hurt you physically. It could be as subtle as a pinch or a kick, or as sudden as a slap. They will seem remorseful after. They may even be upset and cry. They will suggest it was 'your fault' for making them so angry, or winding them up. They might tell you that they only hurt you because they love you so much.
You may find that nothing is your own. Your phone, and your Internet profiles will be vetted regularly. You might be questioned and asked who you are talking to, who you are meeting. You might find that it's easier to check what you are doing with your partner first, to avoid any fights or arguments. After all, jealousy means they care, right?
They may suddenly choose to
You may try to end it, to walk away and they get upset. They may threaten to harm themselves, or even commit suicide if you leave. You suddenly feel more trapped and do not know what to do for the best.
And all the time your friends and family are warning you, they see can something wrong. You'll be angry and defensive at first. They don't understand. They don't see the other side of your partner that you do - but the doubt is there, if you listen hard enough. It probably always was.

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Portia Arthur