Here are 5 ways to overcome trust issues in your love life

Being a cynical, distrustful person usually does not happen in a vacuum; and it is understandable if you would clamp up and put up a wall when being trustful has left you burnt on a previous occasion.

However, being betrayed or hurt in past relationships isn’t enough reason to close up forever. This is even more so if you intend to find love and live it to the max, for as long as possible.

Don’t let past experiences hold you back from what is potentially a whole new experience. [Credit Black Excellence] How to react when you discover your partner has been cheating on you [Credit Black Excellence] Pulse Nigeria

Love and happy relationships do not exist without trust and and a willingness to be vulnerable on the belief that you are safe and secure in the other’s person’s care.

Love flourishes when two people can be plain and open with each other, shunning games, coming just as they are and allowing the kind of vulnerability necessitated by being in love.

If you find doing any of these things difficult, it may be time to let go of your trust issues. And here are ways to make that happen:

1. Do it regardless of the fear

If you have been deceived before, it might be difficult to allow yourself trust again, for fear of being someone’s fool again.

But you can’t dwell on that forever. Besides, there is an iota of fear and risk in the decision to love anyway. So you just have to do it regardless. Don’t let past experiences hold you back from what is potentially a whole new experience.

You can’t let the past hold your present and future to ransom that way.

Love flourishes when two people can be plain and open with each other [Credit - Shutterstock] Pondering ScoopnFest

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2. Let your new partner know about it

If you’ve got trust issues for whatever reason, don’t be afraid of telling your partner about it. Let them know that you’re having issues trusting them. Be honest with yourself and be honest with the other person. They can learn a lot from you if you practice this. For example, they know to give you space sometimes, and learn how to treat you accordingly so you feel loved and let down those walls in due time.

3. What do you need?

"Start having what will be a series of discussions about what you need to feel safe enough to trust your partner," recommends Dr. Gary Brown, a relationship therapist based in LA.

"Ask your partner what they need to feel safe and if there's any unfinished business between the two of you. If you have something that is still unresolved, go ahead and start with that.

"From my experience, having heavy relationship conversations can also come with the pressure to "fix" everything in one sitting. But, don't feel like you have to rush to find a resolution or come up with a quick fix.”

Be honest with yourself and be honest with the other person. [Credit: Shutterstock] Boyfriend privileges [Credit: Shutterstock] Pulse Nigeria

4. Give it time

Really, time is one commodity you surely need. Don’t push yourself too hard or force yourself to get there. Let it happen in its own good time.

5. Let people earn it

It is simple – trust has to be earned, and this is regardless of whether you have been previously heartbroken or not.

Your partner has to earn your trust, their actions have to warrant the amount of confidence you bestow into them, the level of safety you feel with them and the level of vulnerability you will allow yourself show.

If they want your trust, they’ve got to earn it – one day at a time.