Here are some subtle ways to find out what she really wants in bed.
Here are six tips for finding the positions that she loves.
1. Ask Her For Feedback
Let’s start with the easiest tip first: ask her what she likes! Yep, it really can be that simple. If you’re new to each other, try asking her, “what are your favorite positions?” or “is there anything you want to try out?” If you’ve been together for a while, ask her, “what positions do you think we do really well together?”
If she struggles to come up with an answer, name some positions and ask her to rate them on a 1-10 scale. Or give her two options and ask her which one she prefers. Continue this little game until you’ve narrowed it down to a few of her favorites. If you really want to get playful with it, you can make a sex position championship bracket.
2. Bring It Up Outside Of The Bedroom
Being asked, “what do you want?” or “what position should we do next?” in the moment can make a lot of women feel anxious or put on the spot. Unless your lady is completely open during sex, it’s generally easier to ask about sex positions before you’ve got your clothes off.
You can also try checking in with her after the two of you have finished having sex. During your post-coital cuddle session, ask her, “which position felt best for you just then?”.
3. Find Examples
Sometimes it can be hard to think of sex positions off the top of your head, even ones that you’ve tried and enjoyed in the past. To jog your memory, check out some of our past articles about sex positions. Look over the options with her, and ask which ones she likes. If the two of you enjoy watching porn together, you can also ask her opinion on the positions you see on the screen.
4. Consider Her Body
Of course, every woman likes different sex positions, but one of the common denominators in a mind-blowing position is clitoral stimulation. The vast majority of women need direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, a fact that many men seem to either ignore or be unaware of. Most women enjoy intercourse, but the intercourse itself isn’t what makes them climax. If you want to increase your chances of finding a fantastic sex position for her, try focusing on positions where she can get more clitoral stimulation. You can do this in a few ways:
● Positions where she can grind her clitoris against you, like woman on top or sideways straddle.
● Positions where either you or she can reach down and stroke her clitoris. Doggystyle, woman on top, or bridge position all work well for this.
● Positions where you can use a vibrator to give her some extra-intense clitoral stimulation. Missionary works really well.
5. Watch How She Reacts
If she stays relatively still, doesn’t make much noise, or has a blank look on her face, she’s probably not enjoying the position all that much. If you can feel her working her hips back against yours, if she looks excited or blissed-out, if her breathing picks up, or if she makes noise, those are all signs that she’s having a great time.
6. Try New Positions
There are an endless number of ways to arrange your bodies during sex. Even if you’ve found some of her (and your) favorites, it’s still fun to explore and make new discoveries. As creative as you might be in the sack, there are tons of positions you probably haven’t tried. You can also make small adjustments to your old favorites to get a whole new experience. For example, put one or both of her legs on your shoulders during Missionary.
Keep a running list of positions you’re curious about, and have regular sex date nights where you try them out. Crossing items off a to-do list will never feel so exciting.