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4 key elements of a successful marriage

Even with the increasing number of divorce cases recorded daily and the ransom paid as divorce settlement, the enthusiasm and joy of Ghanaian youth and some divorced adults to tie the knot has not waned, as Pulse.com.gh Lifestyle reporter Portia Arthur finds.

 

After all the lavish ceremonies; cutting of cake, fake smiles and extravagant wedding dress, posing for selfies that is the imaginary dream of most contemporary Ghanaian women, the executory part of fulfilling the promises made to God in the presence of family, friends, colleagues and invited guest is the hard nut to crack.

How do you maintain your relationship? How do you become a better spouse for your partner and a good parent to your children?

Arguing is inevitable in a relationship, even twins fight in the womb as superstition says but when you follow these four Cs, there will be peace and love in your relationship.

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Communication is the pivot around which every relationship evolves. Constant interaction with each other, whether phone calls, text messaging or face-to-face erase all doubt and suspicions in a relationship.

Couples must agree to disagree amicably, forecast and plan for the future.

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Don’t feel too proud to say “am sorry” when you offend your partner, if you are not vulnerable in front of your partner then who else?

“I love you, am sorry, please forgive and thank you” should be used daily in a healthy relationship.

According to American educator and author, Stephen Covey, “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply”.

Couples must have unique communication signs and jargons significant to them only for effective relay of timely information.

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“In sickness and in health, rain or shine…..” as the vows go. Commitment means dedicating yourself effortlessly to support and provide the needed assistance to your partner to maintain your relationship. And the two shall become one, which means one has to compromise in certain instance without murmuring or nagging.

American writer, Joseph Campbell underscores that, “When you sacrifice in a marriage, you are sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship”.

No one person must feel he or she is carrying all the burden in the relationship. Comments like "I’m better off single than married” should be avoided.

Couples must pop champagne to celebrate triumphant moments together and wipe each others tears during desperate times.

When your wife is indisposed, ideally the husband is supposed to execute her daily routine and even serve her breakfast in bed. The man and woman are technically pregnant although the woman is physically carrying the foetus. The man must be readily available to assist her and share quality time with her.

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The man and woman can no longer think of themselves alone without disregarding the consequences of the actions of the other.

Love and sex is an important portion in the love realm. The bible establishes that “Do not deprive each other [of marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves [unhindered] to prayer”.

Constant lovemaking provides the avenue to experience each other’s inner feelings and spiritually and emotionally grow your relationship.

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Debatably, ‘sex is sweet’; one reaches orgasm during makeup sex, after big announcements or during couple's special occasions.

Marriage is the only morally upright way within which the human kind is procreated.

Justice delayed isn’t always justice denied, at least not where marriage is concerned. Show gratitude to your partner for each little thing done. Never underestimate the power of appreciation, which opens doors for greater things.

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Shower your wife with gifts ranging from cards, lingerie, bags and go on impromptu dates.

The kitchen is the woman’s paramount place is the home but the husband can borrow and prepare his wife’s favorite recipes from time to time. Husbands must adore their wives, say nice words like ‘I love you’, “Honey you look beautiful in your new style”.

According to Author and Chef, Julia Child, “The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person.  You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time”. Couples must spend quality time in the house or outside. There is nothing wrong if a husband escorts his wife to the salon, grocery shopping or spa sessions.

Marriage conflicts differ from couple to couple, fundamentally due to the individual upbringing and characteristics they adopted from the society but the listed elements when adhered to can curb marital arguments.

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