Premarital Counseling: When is the right time to start and how important is it?

When it comes to when the time is right to having premarital counselling, the answer is simple, the sooner the better.

Couple having premarital counseling

You might have started with your wedding plans months before the big date, but you might be wondering when to start premarital counselling.

The simple answer is – the sooner the better. Although the majority of couples start with their sessions a few weeks before the wedding, it is better if you got into this process earlier than that. There are several reasons for this.

What happens during premarital counselling sessions

What it is that you can expect from these sessions? Here are some things to expect:

  • You will talk about the foundational facts and norms in marriage

It may sound strange at this moment, but sometimes just discussing some important issues every married couple faces can both prepare you for and also pinpoint potential issues that need further discussing. These topics will include communication, resolving conflicts, issues regarding your families of origin, finances, sexual and emotional intimacy, etc.

  • You know your future life partner better

You might be surprised by the new facts you will come to learn about him/her, and you might love them or hate them – but you will be in the just right place to address any doubts.

  • A place to resolve the existing resentments

Yes, ideally, when people get married, there are no unresolved issues that hover over their heads. But this is not a realistic picture. In reality, couples wed with many persistent problems, and premarital counselling is where these can be addressed so that you commence your future without the past lingering around.

Benefits of premarital counselling

  • It’s the first step to improving the quality of your marriage

You don’t want the counselling to get in the way of your wedding organization, and the opposite is also true. Premarital counselling is a significant step that you are willing to take to improve your marriages’ chances of being the most fulfilling relationship of your life, and you do want to have a clear head for it.

  • It helps in changing unhealthy habits before the marriage

Whether it is religious counselling or sessions with a certified therapist or counsellor, you should set aside enough time for what might be the deciding factor in changing unhealthy habits before the marriage. You probably aren’t too keen on thinking about the things that might, somewhere along the line, ruin what you are so eager to build.

Yet, the sooner you locate the possible hindrances in the future, the sooner you’ll be able to implement and get used to the changes.

  • Helps you address all the small or serious snags with your partner

Premarital counselling sessions will involve some testing and some interviewing by the counsellor, together and separately, to determine the state of your relationship and how suitable you are for each other. This step is not intended to scare you or to pick your flaws, it merely shows the counsellor what to focus on.

  • Helps to remove any pressure that can impair the relationship

Even though we all love to believe that we are realists and that we don’t have unsubstantiated ideas about the reality, it seems that the majority of us still secretly believe that the wedding rings have some magical power to make it all good. They don’t.

If any, they might have the power to put additional pressure on everyone and impair the relationship. But even if no such thing happens, being defensive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive in your communication is a problem that won’t go away on its own. And it also takes some time to practice new ways of talking to each other assertively, which is why you shouldn’t leave your sessions for the last minute.

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