Sex Economics: In praise of the quickie

Most of the time I prefer a slow leisurely approach to making love. But there are times when I’m in a hurry, when there are other people around, when I’m overcome by lust or when there’s a full moon, that's when a quickie becomes useful. A quickie is frantic, clumsy, breathless all or nothing sex. Its wham bam thank you man impolite sex. It’s easy come easy go sex. And yet it can be surprisingly very intimate. A furtive giggling naughty union that does a lot for your spirits and nothing for your best well pressed skirt.

I am not talking about hasty sex with a stranger. That is no quickie; that is stupid with AIDS and all. No, short sharp sex is best performed with someone you’ve had long soft sex with first. It requires a familiarity with your partner’s body which only comes with practice. I am not advocating making love in places like aeroplane washrooms and the backseats of taxis, such places are for the truly desperate or sheer thrill seekers. Exotic locations and a tendency towards exhibitionism are not essential ingredients for a successful quickie. A few minutes on the sofa during your favorite telenovella is all it takes to give you healthy skin and work up an appetite for supper. Yes, sex is good for your skin ask any dermatologist.

Fast sex like fast food, brings instant satisfaction and afterwards you don’t have to ask questions like “was it good for you’ more than you ever need to discuss the merits of a Frankies cheeseburger. Sometimes it’s actually great getting sex out of the way. Sometimes you don’t want to wait to see who will make the first move. You don't need massage oils and scented candles, you want it over and done with so you can get on with painting your nails or painting the town red. And believe me there’s nothing quite like going out with someone you’ve just fucked hard and fast, you feel loose-limbed and self-satisfied. You sit closer together exchanging foolish smiles and sharing that gleeful wanton feeling that is unique to having sex with your shoes on.

Anyone who has shared sex with a boyfriend whilst living under mama’s roof is most likely a past mistress of the quickie. Nothing was simpler in those calm days than a long walk to the beach followed by three minutes of ecstasy against some secluded rocks. Uncomfortable? YES! But there was a straightforwardness about sex before we got our own homes and queen size beds. Now we have as much time as we want and evenings are taken up with “shall we or shall we not” as in shall we do the dishes first or not.

The most seductive aspect of the quickie is that it’s hardly ever indulged in at night. The quickie at bedtime can only be a let-down, an unnecessary curtailing of pre and post coital endearments. Neither is there any pleasure in having quick sex because you think your partner expects it and not because you want it. No! A quickie performed in the spirit of close your eyes and think of England makes you miserable and lonely…don’t do it.

The best quickies are for those times when you feel so horny that even though there’s a taxi waiting outside and you’ve just applied your lipstick, you still hike up your skirt and shag right there in the corridor.

Quickies are for first thing in the morning when you’re already late for school drop-offs, for those five minutes when you really should be somewhere else. Quickies are that extra unexpected bonus kinda like when you’re having a day from hell and suddenly everything starts going right.

Nothing is more guaranteed to put a smile on your man’s face than the prospect of uncomplicated nooky. Nothing is more alluring than the thought that a woman is willing to forgo four poster bed lovemaking for four minutes on the living room rug.

Even if you’ve been together for years there’s something forbidden about the quickie. Something illicit about the idea of being in a hurry of wanting each other here, now, fully clothed bending over your mama’s kitchen cabinet whilst she and your sisters watch TV in the hall. It makes you feel so smug if you have a quickie and actually have a screaming orgasm that's only in your head and you both have to sit the entire evening in the presence of people who don’t know what you’ve been up to.

Quickies are good! They do your skin good, do your heart rate good ad certainly do your spirits good.

Go on indulge!