You don’t dare bring someone else to a
If you are being asked on a date, it means he wants to spend time with just you and not your friend[s]. To bring in an unsolicited third wheel is wrong, childish and of course, advocated against.
By now, everyone pretty much gets the message in the paragraph above. It has seeped in and settled well in the consciousness of almost everyone – from the undergraduate teenager going on dates on campus and the high-power business woman going on fancy dates at ritzy locations.
But what if there’s an alternative truth somewhere that’s actually worth considering? What if you could take someone else with you when going on a first date? Actually you can, provided that your situation meets these criteria and you follow certain rules.
When it may be acceptable to do this
On a normal day, as we have obviously mentioned above, it is unacceptable to do this. But given the fear for one’s security and the constant need to stay safe, bringing a friend could be a good idea.
Obviously, the first thought that comes to mind is “why are you going on a date with someone you don’t trust?!” To that, the obvious answer is that what we are talking about here is a first date. And regardless of the good vibes you get off social media and text exchanges with a guy, you still don’t really know him and the things he may be capable of.
So if you are going to accept an offer for a date with some guy you are meeting for the first time, going with a friend, even if you are meeting him in a public place, is not such a bad idea. For security sake. Better safe than sorry, right?
Also sometimes, alongside the need to feel a little more secure with a stranger, women also just want to bring their single, bored friend/flatmate out of the house. Either for the fun of it, or at other times, so that the friend can come check out the guy and see him in person [aka judge his gorgeousness level].
OK, admittedly, this is a less logical, less excusable reason to bring a third wheel out to a first date but if done well, really, it’ll be no problem.
So, how rules should you follow when bringing someone else on a first date
1. Please do not introduce that third wheel to the guy. An absolute NO. She is to be invisible, an absolute ghost who’s just going to sit at a vantage point where she can observe the date play out.
If your friend can’t meld with the crowd at the venue of the date without being spotted, don’t take her please. The guy CANNOT know you brought someone else. It will most likely make him feel distrusted and uncomfortable.
2. From the foregoing, obviously the guy can’t be expected to foot the bill for what that other woman orders at the place. It’s either you pay or she does. Never the guy. It’s actually a no-brainer.
3. Avoid EVERYTHING that will make the guy know you brought someone else. He should not even suspect anything. If there’s any chance he will, better not go on that date if you feel so unsafe and/or unsure with the guy.
4. Most importantly, decide with that friend on a preferred coded message to be sent if your fear materialises. If the guy becomes too handsy or manifests signs that threaten your safety, throw out that sign and get out of there as fast as you can.