A parent's guide to helping the child

On Saturday my 7 year old cousin who is class 3 asked me for tips on being bullied. One of the boys on his row in school has vowed not to come back to school. “Ian said he will run away anytime his dad dropped him at the school gate, he will wait for his father to leave then he will also go. He will return to the school gate when school was almost over and wait for his father”.

I later found out Ian was being bullied by some of his class mates and some seniors because he was chubby. His parents did not know, his teachers had not paid particular attention and his friends who cared could not help.

Types of bullying include physical bullying which involves hitting, shoving, pushing, tripping, and other kinds of force. Verbal bullying involves hurtful comments, name-calling, teasing, insulting and other abusive use of words. Social or relationship bullying include refusing to talk to someone, excluding someone from group activities and other activities that makes one feel inferior in a relationship. The final type is cyber bullying which involves the use of electronic communication to bully others.

As a parent how will you know your child is being bullied? How do you deal with it and what can teachers and other stakeholders do to help? On the topic of tips of being bullies, here’s a guide to calm bullying in the society.

Know your child/student

Knowing your child will help you realise even the smallest change in your child’s emotions. You will know when the emotions, sleep pattern and other behaviours of the children change. You can’t know them if you don’t get involved in their activities. Chat with your children when they come back from school, from the playground and also to the teachers ask the children how their day went. Act immediately you notice any changes in the child’s response to conversation.

Talk to kids about bullying

Teachers and parents alike must educate children on the reasons why it is not right to bully and also how to prevent people from bullying them. If the children are not educated on such things issues they become vulnerable. Also remember bullied children also go ahead to bully others. It also takes a toll on the victim’s self-esteem. This means you will be curbing this menace if you speak about it with your children.

Teach your child how to respond to bullies

Bullies look for kids who can’t stand up for themselves; they pick on people who take things to heart. But they stop mistreating you when you don’t regard what they do or they realise you are becoming more assertive than before. It’s important to teach your child all these things about bullies and how to prevent people from bullying him.

Affirm your child’s strength (be on his side)

At a time in your child’s life he does not need any more derogatory comments, at least not from those expected to be his number 1 funs; his parents. Telling your child of his strengths in such times has a very great potential of morally lifting him up.

Speak to your child’s teacher or any authority in charge

Immediately your child is able to tell you about his/her challenges speak to the supervisor in charge at wherever the bullying occurs. Explain your challenges in a friendly manner to the supervisor. You can request that the supervisor keeps an eye on your child and also ask for their recommendation on what to do. Also find a teacher or supervisor who can help the child develop his self-esteem in your absence.

Talk to the parents of the perpetrators

If possible talk to the parents of the children bullying yours. They may not know what their children do when they are away. They may also help educate their own children against such acts. If they are concerned parents they will also find out the rationale behind their children’s action. This may also help the perpetrator of the act.

Find out from your child if the bullying still continues

After putting in all the efforts, talk to your child to find out if the bullying still continues. You should encourage your child to tell you what the reactions of the teachers were after you reported the act. What actions have been taken to prevent him/her from being bullied again?

Enrol your child to participate in an extra curriculum activity

Enlisting your child in an extra curriculum activity will help boost his self-esteem. It will also help him make new friends who will encourage him/her to be a better person. This will also encourage your child to learn a new skill that will go a long way to develop him/her and be an all-rounder.

In the end remember you are responsible for your child’s development, and you must help them grow to be the best they can be in the friendliest environment you can afford for your child.