Charlotte Grainger

As clich as <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a27003906/should-i-get-back-with-my-ex/" id="00ff3ad1-89b0-3efa-ad21-d2cf04dc676f"> having sex with your ex </a> may be, that doesnt stop oh-so-many of us going back for more. Here's what eight women have to say about what it was like having sex with an ex. (Some of these are NSFW!)

<h1> 1. He finished extremely quickly </h1>

A couple of months after we had broken up, we decided to meet for a catch-up. He picked me up in his car, and we were driving around the small town we lived in. He parked in a secluded spot and I started to give him a blow job, but he finished extremely quickly.

I dont regret it, but afterwards, it felt a bit awkward because he finished so fast. I think there had been a lot of sexual tension that built up, mainly on his part.

There were no feelings there when we first got together. It was my first proper boyfriend so I felt like I was still learning a lot about relationships and kind of experimenting.

I went to college and moved on pretty soon after that. He did try to contact me a few times, but I just wanted to move forward with my life. I felt like he was from a different chapter of my life and I was starting a new one. Chantelle*

Ex-boyfriend who was long distance, when we saw each other in person we decided to have our 'final goodbyes.' It wasn't great, I didn't feel the passion with him anymore, and it really affected the overall experience. I had a hard time getting turned on, and felt [too] lazy to put in the work, tbh. I don't regret it, but I wish it happened only once. [ <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/9xj3mp/ladies_have_you_ever_went_back_to_an_ex_just_for/" id="81be1769-13e0-3be2-a8da-4cb3f4b9d43e"> via </a> ]

<h1> 3. Everything was more electric </h1>

It was usually a case of let's meet up to chat or clear the air or try to be friends and then we would get carried away. My bed, his bed, his sofa, his parents living room floor. It always starts with the hand on the leg, the look, kissing, pulling back and saying we shouldnt, followed by more kissing and then the inevitable.

It was different, and at the same time so familiar. I feel like its fair to say that couples fall into a routine, favoring certain positions and the like. Even after we had broken up, we would fall back into those routines, because we knew it worked for us, but at the same time it is so different. Everything was so much more electric, all of the emotions of the previous few months come out so the sex is, on paper, the same, but it feels so different.

Ive slept with all of my exes of long term relationships in the time that follows the breakup, and in my experience they all follow this same rule. Theres always the post-sex cigarette and that was amazing, and then theres always the we should never do that again, followed by the tearful goodbyeonly to make the same mistake a few days later. Eve*

Passionate lovers holding hands and kissing making love on bed

<h1> 4. He clearly still had some feels </h1>

Ive hooked up with a couple of my exes afterwards. The sex was great and I had no regrets. It was a little awkward afterwards in one case when he clearly still had some feels, but overall it was okay. [ <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/9xj3mp/ladies_have_you_ever_went_back_to_an_ex_just_for/" id="81be1769-13e0-3be2-a8da-4cb3f4b9d43e"> via </a> ]

Twice with the same guy. We dated for five or so years and had a horrible breakup but then eventually developed a friendship. The first time was really fun and nostalgic without any pressure for more. The second time, we both realized we still have this very strong connection but it's on such a platonic level that the sex itself was awkward and we both stopped halfway through. [ <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/80klum/have_you_ever_hooked_up_with_an_ex/" id="90c16681-37d8-34dc-a24d-3dadf704d101"> via </a> ]

My ex and I slept together multiple times over the course of a year and a half after we broke up. Our split, although not a surprise, was very sudden, and within a few weeks of being apart, we caved in and spent the night together in the apartment we used to sharewhere I still lived at the time.

It happened again a few months later, and then there was the week when we spent almost every night hanging out, even discussing the idea of living together again (nope, not getting back togetherwe skipped that step).

The sex itself was amazing as we knew each other's bodies and likes so well, and I didn't once feel self-conscious or worry about what he thought of me. I knew he wanted me and that passion we had before was still thereit was what made our relationship so fiery and dramatic. But the intimacy was gone.

The first time we slept together after the break-up he insisted he use a condom, immediately changing the atmosphere between us as it was clear he was already sleeping around. There was no cuddling, no exchanging I love yous, and actually not much conversation. It was like we knew it wouldn't last and it was just a fleeting moment of casual fun, and it added a touch of sadness to the whole experience. Serena*

<h1> 7. We had mad physical chemistry </h1>

He dumped me for a prettier woman or maybe two, came back six months later. We had mad physical chemistry, but clearly I wasn't really who he wanted to be seen with in public.

Anyway, we ended up falling back into bed but I'd already met the man who was going to end up my [next] ex. And this guy now wanted to commithe all but said he wanted to marry, that he'd learned his lesson and looks aren't everything, basically. I think, needless to say, I wasn't buying it. We made time for about another month before I finally called it off. [ <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/80klum/have_you_ever_hooked_up_with_an_ex/" id="90c16681-37d8-34dc-a24d-3dadf704d101"> via </a> ]

<h1> 8. Like having sex with a stranger </h1>

It happened a month after we broke up. I was still in love in him and wanted to see him, which led to us having sex. The first time, I started messaging him and making general conversation. Basically, I was seeing whether it would be a possibility, but without saying that. We arranged to meet at his, and it just happened.

It wasnt as good as I imagined it would be, or as good as it had been in the past. The passion was missing. It was like having sex with a stranger. The relationship gave us a connection, but this didnt have that, and didnt get me off in the same way.

It felt a little systematic, as we both knew why I was there. Its not like when youre in a relationship and just hanging out and it just happens. This was like small talk and lets go.

"There wasnt much contact afterwards, unless it was to arrange to meet. Sasha*

*Names have been changed to allow subjects to speak freely on private matters.

8 Women on What It Was Like Having Sex With an Ex

Breaking up is never easy. In the immediate aftermath, you may never want to set eyes on your ex again. But once youve shouted your final insults and slammed the front door, would you consider walking back into someones lifeor, indeed, their bed?

8 Women Reveal What It Was Like to Have Sex With Their Ex

Today's dating scene offers a buffet-style array of non-monogamous relationship styles. But from open relationships to polyamory, it can be hard to get your head around the labels, and how they actually play out in practice.

So, what does it mean to be in a non-monogamous relationship? How can you choose the right type for you and pull off the situation smoothly? Here, <a href="http://www.stellawithlove.com/" id="80411a67-80ab-3313-aac7-9f7ae5cbfd62"> sexologist </a> Stella Anna Sonnenbaum walks Mens Health through the different types of non-monogamous relationships and what makes them unique.

<h1> What are the different kinds of non-monogamous relationships? </h1>

You've probably heard people talking about <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a26111265/open-relationship-guide/" id="fbdd26aa-ed36-3ef0-a29c-35c57b5cf310"> open relationships </a> -but what are they, exactly? The term is not as clear-cut as it may sound. In fact, it can actually be applied to a variety of relationship styles, all of which have one oh-so-important thing in common.

It means that you are not in an exclusive relationship with your partner, Sonnenbaum explains. It usually refers to sexuality, so either one or both partners have the option to have sex with other people outside of the relationship.

Next up, a term that is what it says on the tin. Monogamish partners are mainly monogamous in their sexual choices. However, as the name suggests, they may both be willing to stray from this when the mood takes them.

It depends how people define it themselves, says Sonnenbaum. Its for people who are mainly monogamous, but who are also open to their partner having sex with other people.

If youre looking for a way to spice up your currently monogamous setup, you might have just found it. As Sonnenbaum explains, this choice could help you to add a brand new-and ultimately thrilling-dimension to your relationship.

In terms of keeping sexuality vibrant and alive, I think that it is a great option, she says. In the end, we want to choose our partners rather than feeling confined to our partners, sexually. We want to choose our partners over and over again to have sex with.

"What we say in monogamish relationships is, I choose to be with you. I may have sex with other people, but I choose to put you first.

Smiling woman flirting with man while sitting in bar

The word "swinging" may conjure images of fish bowls filled with car keys, but it doesn't have to be that way. The contemporary incarnation of this relationship choice could mean a range of things, including having a long-term arrangement with another couple.

Swinging could be an open relationship. However, it is usually the case that couples meet other couples that they have sex with. So, basically, they are looking for other partners only in other couples, says Sonnenbaum. That means that they would not have sexual contact with people who are not in a couple."

Hookups might be spur-of-the-moment, or something more regular.

It could be two couples having a longer swinging relationship with each other or it could be just swinging at clubs and having casual sexual contact there," Sonnenbaum adds.

This type of non-monogamous relationship style allows partners the freedom to have multiple romantic and sexual relationships at the same time.

"It could be a couple having romantic and sexual bonds with other people outside of the relationship, but it could also be a single person who has multiple romantic and sexual relationships-they dont need to be in a couple, necessarily, Sonnenbaum says.

Every polyamorous situation is a little bit different. Here, <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19538872/is-polyamory-right-for-you/" id="e0596f32-352d-364e-a136-399d17fd62ed"> four polyamorous people explain what their love lives are like </a> .

But wait just a minute-what about setting some ground rules here? Well, thats where hierarchical polyamory comes into play. This next choice means that couples decide which of their relationships is their major focus, i.e. the primary relationship, but can still have other relationships outside of that.

This type of arrangement is usually the case for couples having relationships with other people, says Sonnenbaum. The main relationship is the primary partner, and the other relationships are secondary partners. So, equally, the secondary partner-him or herself-may have other primary partners.

The general idea is that you put your primary partner first in this type of non-monogamous relationship. You may dedicate more time to them, run certain things past them before you do them, and treat them as a full-time life partner.

Polyfidelity means that there are multiple partners having long-term relationships," Sonnenbaum says.

While that may sound a lot like polyamory, there is one big difference between the two. While polyamory is considered an "open" relationship style, polyfidelity is "closed," in that the multiple people involved do not have relationships with people outside their group.

"Maybe a [polyfidelious] individual has three relationships, but doesnt have open relationships-the partners know about each other and the person doesnt have sex outside of these relationships, Sonnenbaum explains.

Heres a type of non-monogamous relationship that throws the rulebook straight out of the window. Yes, <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a20884371/polyamory-open-relationships/" id="ff576f8a-e735-3d6d-a2fd-c5ad6351dab4"> relationship anarchy </a> is just that: an entirely open sexual situation. In short, people can have sexual and romantic interactions with whoever they want and ditch the labels.

Relationship anarchy basically means that people refuse to define the relationship in any way, says Sonnenbaum. There may be rules, such as being compassionate and kind to each other, but people can do what they want sexually. All bets are off.

<h1> What should I know before entering a non-monogamous relationship? </h1>

Now that youre well-versed in non-monogamous relationships, you may be itching to give one a whirl. Before you do, its important to make sure that your current relationship is completely solid. Opening up your relationship is by no means a band-aid to hold an already-breaking situation together.

It takes excellent communication skills. So if couples fall down on that, they will have problems in the relationship," Sonnenbaum advises. "[In that case], I wouldnt consider opening the relationship up, but instead addressing the issues within the relationship as they are not going to go away."

Monogamy-its not for everyone. What was once the societal norm is now merely one of the <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a26886548/ethical-non-monogamy-tips/" id="67f02311-4a1e-39ec-a82f-8430d1bb1fce"> many relationship choices </a> out there.

Everything to Know About Non-Monogamous Relationships, Including Polyamory, Open Relationships, and More

If that sounds like you, then you might have a fear of commitment. If you have a sneaking suspicious you're dealing with commitment issues, then you've come to the right place. Psychosexual therapist and couple's counselor talked to Men's Health about the main red flags of being a commitment-phobe, and how to deal with the problem pronto.

1) You worry you won't have a life anymore.

While dating can be a real thrill, you become plagued with the following thought: What if things get serious and you're entirely absorbed by the relationship? If that idea sounds like fodder for a horror movie, then you might be dealing with commitment issues.

You may experience [the] feeling that the relationship in some way takes you over, Lamb says. Thats a common pattern in relationships, and its often - but not always - gendered, in that a woman in a relationship will want more connection and a man will want more space.

2) You don't want to lose your freedom.

This is similar to sign #1, but it's the feeling of being "trapped" in a relationship. If you feel like your freedom is at stake, it's only natural that you'd want to back away.

Often we think about it as a commitment to the other person, almost like signing your soul away; certainly giving your power away. Thats a big issue for a lot of men, Lamb explains. They might think that being in a committed relationship means your partner has control over you."

3) You think your partner is demanding.

When youre in a relationship, theres a problem that comes up time and time again: You think your partner is demanding and asks too much of you. However, the problem may not be your partner's clinginess - it could be a deeper-rooted commitment issue.

Do you know yourself? Do you have a good sense of who you are? Some people take longer to settle into their identity than others. And if you're still figuring things out, you may not be ready for a serious relationship.

If we dont know who we are, we dont have a very sound basis for making a relationship which is committed, Lamb says.

5) You think the grass is always greener.

Youre with your partner in a restaurant, when the attractive server starts taking your order. You try to pay attention to what shes saying, but all you can think about is what it would be like to hook up with her. Before you know it, youve imagined a whole scenario where youve left your partner and moved in with this beautiful stranger.

If Im still looking over my shoulder and thinking the grass is greener, then theres something thats not quite mature enough about me, says Lamb.

<h1> How to Deal With a Fear of Commitment </h1>

Some men who experience a fear of commitment may genuinely want a long-term partner, but not know how to overcome their feelings. Here are some small steps you can take toward being more open to a committed relationship.

1) Find freedom within a relationship.

"Real freedom is to be able to be the person you want to be in a relationship. Thats what people dont necessarily believe is possible," Lamb says. "The assumption is that if you dont do what your partner wants, they wont love [you]. Or if you allow them to be important, they will then have power over you." Those perceptions aren't necessarily true.

Instead of picturing a committed relationship as your partner having control over you, think of it this way instead: "A committed relationship is a commitment to yourself rather than to somebody else," Lamb says. "[It's] a commitment to what is going to enhance your life and make you feel fulfilled as a human being.

2) Be open and honest if you need space.

It's completely normal to need space in a relationship, but that doesn't mean you should run away. If you're afraid of commitment, you might be <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a25560707/what-is-ghosting/" id="e046d127-7d21-3341-a711-22d65c1e4cb4"> inclined to ghost </a> when you need some distance - but that'll make your partner question what they've done wrong. Instead, be honest about what you want.

"Sometimes, that does necessitate professional help," Lamb says. "However, people can, at a simple level, say, Hey, how much time do we want to spend with each other? or How do we want to manage the closeness in this relationship?

They have to be clear," Lamb adds. "What I often say to the guys that I work with is that its fine to make your space, but you have to let your partner know when youre available.

Couple having coffee together in living room

3) Learn to be emotionally literate.

Speaking up and letting your partner know how you feel may not come naturally. If you find that youre a closed-off person who prefers to keep things to himself, the very idea of sharing your feelings could give you the shivers. However, if you want to be in a committed relationship, youre going to need to move past that.

Most men in relationships need to be more emotionally literate; to be able to say when things dont feel right," Lamb says. "This is quite a tricky area for a lot of men in a relationship.

Not sure how to open up? Here are 7 basic skills that'll help you <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a26090182/communicate-better-relationship-girlfriend-wife/" id="69170d88-901b-3c7f-ae47-2a3501becd0a"> improve communication in your relationship </a> - including embracing the awkward.

4) Get some help from a professional.

Ready for a relationship but still have the underlying fear? You may be able to work through the steps alone, but if not, theres additional help and support out there. Speaking to a professional, such as a counselor or therapist, could be the way to go. An expert who is trained in relationship issues will have the knowledge to guide you through the steps and help you address any fears you have in the healthiest possible way.

Are You Afraid of Commitment? Here's How to Tell.

Buzz. You pick up your phone to a new message. Hey babe, can we talk when youre free? Your chest gets tight. Your body goes cold. You realize you should have seen this coming. You've been dating this great woman for a month or two, and now she wants to DTR (translation: Define The Relationship).

Here Are 5 Telltale Signs That Commitment Issues Are Getting in the Way of Your Dating Life

While the request may have thrown you for a loop, the reality is, <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a26657443/what-is-a-switch-bdsm-sex/" id="173c2c62-2da8-3a41-acd5-b5c5851f3171"> playing with domination and submission </a> can be a huge turn-on in the bedroom (or, you know, <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/g26652190/camping-sex-tips/" id="bddadb51-fa0b-3f49-aea5-88fb5ff80ac9"> wherever you're getting it on </a> ). For the partner being tied up, there's often something incredibly hot about handing over complete control.

From the achingly sexy to the hella awkward, here are eight women's tales of what it was like to be tied up in bed for the first time. Needless to say, the following stories are NSFW.

<h1> I was aching with excitement. </h1>

It was hot. I've been looking for that level of turn-on ever since. Actually, I was a bit nervous. I wasn't 200% sure I could trust him, and we had a safety word, but he was a total gentleman, and once I felt safe, oh man... He was more into it than me, which in turn had me aching with excitement. Best orgasms ever on both sides. Forgot to add [that] we spent a lot of it just laughing at ourselves and being silly which added to the fun! [ <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/40nevi/question_what_was_your_first_experience_with/" id="26b5c1fd-d2a7-3a9d-aa94-d7ce9188dc30"> via </a> ]

It was awkward as hell. It was the sort of thing 17-year-olds do because thats what they think they ought to do in their first long-term sexual relationship. I distinctly remember the first time just feeling really cold, a bit awkward, and quite exposed. It was almost clinical -we probably should have used it as part of the foreplay, not as the foreplay itself.

The first time wasnt particularly about losing control, or submission, and I dont remember feeling either of those things until I experimented with it with other people. There was also something distinctly unsexy about not being able to move into a more comfortable position, but in hindsight that was probably more to do with the person and his skills than the situation itself.

In subsequent experiences with more experienced men, it has been far more organic, with the tying up being a part of the process while other stuff is going on, rather than a stand-alone experiment in an awkward cold room between cold teenagers. -Stephanie*

<h1> He teased my body for hours. </h1>

"The first time my boyfriend tied me, he used soft nylon rope he purchased from Home Depot and did a beautiful <a href="http://www.artofcontemporaryshibari.com/?page_id=29" id="b9558833-4ad0-30de-abb7-99f97a03617c"> shibari harness </a> on me. The room was filled with candlelight and erotic music, and there was a large, circular mirror in front of me as he wrapped the rope around me. He took over 20 minutes, delicately, purposefully placing each knot and the rope sensually across my body. I was able to feel the sensation of being bound, but still had the freedom to move. He then laid me on the bed, gently bound my hands, and caressed and teased my body from head to toe - for hours.

Believe it or not, this was our first intimate evening together (all boundaries pre-set of course) and it was truly one of the most intimate experiences of my life. Since then, as my trust and confidence has grown, so has the degree of our bondage play. [ <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/40nevi/question_what_was_your_first_experience_with/" id="26b5c1fd-d2a7-3a9d-aa94-d7ce9188dc30"> via </a> ]

<h1> I wanted to try something new. </h1>

I did it on one occasion. I brought it up because we had been together for a few months and wanted to try something new. I find I'm quite a controlling and dominant person, so I wanted to explore the feeling of being out of my comfort zone.

Initially I struggled with not being able to vocalize what I wanted him to do, as usually, this is pretty obvious when we have sex. Having to actually guide him made me feel initially a bit silly, but I soon relaxed and enjoyed the experience. What I enjoyed was losing some element of control. -Marissa*

I actually fought panic attacks when I first started bondage. It's one of my favorite things today, though. It's pure control. If your hands are bound, you're giving up control and putting your safety in the hands of another. Can you trust your partner that much?

People enjoy bondage for various reasons. They might like feeling constricted. They might like to give someone else control. They might like how rope feels on the skin (with high-end bondage rope, this alone can send someone to subspace), they might want to see if they can escape, they might want to use to do they don't accidentally kick their partner while being tickled or something. [ <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/40nevi/question_what_was_your_first_experience_with/" id="26b5c1fd-d2a7-3a9d-aa94-d7ce9188dc30"> via </a> ]

It was actually a one-night stand. Id met a guy at a club and gone back to his place - he had an attic room in a shared house. Hardly romantic. When we stumbled into his bedroom, I got on the bed and he went straight to his closet to pull out some black handcuffs. I remember laughing but I was already turned on and thought, Why not?

He bound both of my wrists to the head of the bed and began to undress me ... We played for a long time before having sex and I was begging him for more. I got the impression that this wasnt his first time - he certainly knew what he was doing. -Claire*

<h1> The power exchange was a turn-on. </h1>

I was far more relaxed that I thought I would be, and loved it more than I thought I would. The power exchange was a turn-on, to switch up from being an active participant in sex, to being restrained into a passive recipient of sex, it was amazing. [ <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/40nevi/question_what_was_your_first_experience_with/" id="26b5c1fd-d2a7-3a9d-aa94-d7ce9188dc30"> via </a> ]

<h1> It was nice to be out of control. </h1>

It was my idea and I just asked my boyfriend at the time to do it, as I knew he wouldnt refuse and would enjoy it, too. He agreed and thus, we tried it out. The next time he suggested it, since we enjoyed it the first time.

We used a scarf because it was to hand and the easiest and cheapest thing to use at the time. At first, I wondered whether I was gonna enjoy it but that thought swiftly changed. I was also gagged and blindfolded at the time. It was nice to be out of control and to not know what was going to happen. Thats what turned me in that situation. -Andrea*

*Names have been changed to allow subjects to speak freely on private matters.

8 Women on What It's Like to Be Tied Up in Bed

Ever had a partner ask you to tie them up during sex?

8 Women Describe What It's Like to Be Tied Up in Bed

Its 2019, and achieving your sexual fantasy is hardly a difficult feat. But what if youve already found Mr. or Mrs. Right? Can you still live out your wildest dream as a couple? The short answer is yes. However, youre going to need to follow some pretty simple steps to avoid screwing it up.

First things first, do you both really want this? While taking your partner to a sex party might be tantalizing in theory, you need to make sure youre both on board. Its time to have a frank, open talk. Be honest, and encourage your significant other to do the same.

If you are a committed, emotionally monogamous couple and you want to try these things out, then you have to check that youre both in the same place, Cate Mackenzie, a Psychosexual Therapist Couples Counselor, <a href="http://catemackenzie.com" id="77349281-24b2-3429-a361-a5048f5a53d1"> Love Coach </a> and part of <a href="https://www.cosrt.org.uk/" id="22b87984-1cbd-3d4e-ab5e-e4badc734143"> COSRT </a> tells Mens Health. It wont work if one person is pushing the other into trying a sex party.

Fantasy and reality are rarely one and the same. So, regardless of how much you discuss the idea beforehand, your first attendance is certain to be a real eye-opener.

One of our early fantasies was to attend a sex party, Aliki and Xander, a married couple who share their sexual exploits on their blog, <a href="http://www.coupleofsecrets.com" id="794b2550-7a68-3aa9-a3c7-5392ad511030"> Couple of Secrets </a> , tell Mens Health. It was originally Alikis idea. The first time around we were pretty nervous, mostly because we didnt know what to expect.

Young couple enjoying in the party at pub

If youre both certain that you want to give sex parties a whirl, its time to set some ground rules. You might have an idea of what you want (i.e. a good old-fashioned romp!), but you need to be 100-percent clear with each other.

Do you want to stay together as a couple all the time and invite others into your space? Or do you want to go off and have your own separate adventures?" says Mackenzie. Are you happy to be the voyeur-where your partner does things and you just watch?

Setting rules may sound dull, but its worth getting this piece of life admin out of the way. Plus, having a chat about what each of you wants to happen when you walk through the doors can be a thrill in itself.

Lets say youre both newbies. Thats completely fine. Still, unless you want to make some awkward faux pas, finding out what to expect is a smart move. Each place has different rules and quirks, so its worth doing your research.

Before you attend a party, its worth checking the guidelines. You need to check what the dress code is, the code on protection, and how to set boundaries, says Mackenzie. You could email the place youre going to try out and ask how they handle newbies. They may [have a newcomer policy], as everyone is new at some point.

Beautiful Woman Kissing Purple Ribbon In Party

One thing you might not realize about sex parties is that you dont always have sex. Many people head to these clubs or private parties and merely watch the first time around. If the two of you are feeling nervous, dip your toes in the water.

Ahead of the trip, we discussed at length and agreed that communication is key, so we had an understanding of each others needs, Maria*, a 56-year-old woman who has attended <a href="https://www.killingkittens.com" id="7f4850af-05e1-3fd4-a8f6-d2732ec43fc1"> Killing Kittens </a> sex parties with her husband, tells Mens Health. Principally, we were not looking to have sex with other people, but rather wanted to express our own sexuality in the company of like-minded and fun-loving couples.

At our first party, we did have sex with others watching, Mike*, Marias husband explains to Mens Health. You could argue that just being at one of the parties is participation in itself. You can just watch. You don't have to strip off and dive in to be involved.

But wait: What if things get too heavy and you want out? Its a valid concern. Luckily, safe words dont have to be confined to the realms of BDSM play. Before you head to the sex party, you could decide on a safe word between the two of you.

The idea of any sex party or club is that its consensual you dont do anything you dont want to do. Its always good to have agreements about safety, says Mackenzie. You could have signals if you want to get out of a situation. You could say banana if youre feeling uncomfortable and your partner will take that as a sign you want out.

When youve untangled your limbs and said your goodbyes, the fun and games dont have to stop there. As soon as you get home or back to your hotel, you can keep the party going. Its all about letting the event fuel your passion.

Afterwards, we were so sexed up when we returned home that night that we ended up having sex pretty much all night long, say Aliki and Xander. The excitement of a sex party does not start the moment you walk in, nor does it end the moment you walk out. After a party, we always leave with plenty of sexy images, which spice up our sex.

After youre finally done and youve gasped back your breath, you may want to indulge in a little post-game analysis. How did you find the experience? What do you wish youd have tried? And, crucially, do you both want to attend another party or event in the future?

Before doing so, though, you may want to decide how much to share. You could both talk about what you enjoyed, what you didnt etc. However, you should check-in and talk about whether each of you wants to know, says Mackenzie. If you dont want to know, you need to acknowledge that too.

Whether you want to recount the events action play-by-play or simply have a quick debrief, chatting could help you to figure out whether it was a one-time deal or more. If youre ready to call it quits, you and your partner had an interesting experience. On the other hand, you might find that you just cant get enough of these saucy sexcapades.

What It's Like to Go to a Sex Party as a Couple

Think of your <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a26037238/sex-fantasy-confessions/" id="ba7d0990-166f-306d-a8d0-f3dd06618cc8"> ultimate sexual fantasy </a> . Weve all got one-that go-to scene that gets us hot under the collar, not to mention elsewhere. While there may be an array of images flitting through your mind, for some of us, theres one that we simply cannot shake. A sex party: the ultimate raunchy experience.

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