Can your friends-with-benefits situation ever lead to a serious relationship?

Short answer: Why not?


Friendship with benefit is the popular term that describes a situation where two friends enjoy a sexual relationship with each other with no strings attached.

It’s fundamentally a casual sex affair with the only twist being that this is not the typical one-night-stand kind of thing. It’s not the kind of stuff you do with strangers and random people. Friends are involved, people you know and somehow care about even without the sexual relationship.

According to Sex therapist Ian Kerner; when you go down this road, sex may be all you get, alongside the possibility of losing your friend along the way.

“A FWB situation puts your precious friendship at risk. Even when we have no intention of letting it get messy, sex has a tendency to muddle your feelings,” he tells Cosmopolitan.

And it seems true enough, at least, going by popular opinion. It is often assumed and implied that in all situationships like this; one person goes ahead with the plan secretly hoping that the sex leads to something more serious.

And many times, these expectations [even if they came into existence midway through the agreement] are always met with disappointment. The partner who has those feelings could be the only one feeling that way, while the other person does not want to go down that route.

But that only tells half the story. Because on other occasions, both partners could develop feelings for each other and decide to elevate the relationship above casual sex.

That could happen, too, and it’s OK. Afterall, friends are usually said to be the best people to date.

Bottom line is this: the fear of being in a friends-with-benefit situation doesn’t always materialize. While someone would likely catch feelings that the other would refuse to acknowledge or act on, this is not always the case.

Sex is a pretty intimate act and it’s not unheard of that feelings are caught because of it. Sometimes, by one person and some other times, by both people.

In all of this, what’s most important is to take responsibility for your own actions, feelings and just hope for the best.


For months, Pulse has been documenting the thoughts of everyday Nigerian women on sexcapades, sexual health, pleasure, and what they expect good sex to be and feel like. Catch all of it here.

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