Dating to marry? 5 simple things to consider

Every relationship journey is different but the end result should be happy and fulfilling.

Black couple on a date.

People date for all sorts of reasons. One of the most common, however, is to find a life partner, no matter the stage of life they are in. If you’re in this group, you probably have a more unique set of criteria than someone dating for mere companionship.

When you are dating with the goal of establishing a healthy marriage, it is very important to pick partners who have similar relationship goals and who are also dating for the purpose of finding someone to marry.

Here are a few checklists to consider:

  • Look for people who fit your criteria

You should have certain 'musts' when it comes to dating to marry. Such should be the same religious faith as you or political stance. It is important to date people who only fall into your category.

If something is that important to you personally, seek another who is more in line with your belief system.

  • Establish that you are sexually compatible

Marriage (hopefully) lasts a long time, hence, it is important to get a partner who syncs with you.

If sexual preferences are not discussed beforehand, it may lead to problems later on. If one person is kinky, they may tell themselves they can live without this particular need, but later find that they just can’t.

  • Make sure you have common goals

As you're dating with marriage as the goal, it's important to ask any potential suitors about their goals, whether professional or personal.

Having similar life goals is key to building a foundation for a life together. Don’t assume that the other person will just go along with your goals or that they will change once you become a married couple. Sometimes couples have different and incompatible goals—one person may want children while the other does not.

  • Consider how the two of you handle stress and conflict

Think about the last time the two of you disagreed or something stressful happened and how you managed it.


The key to dating for the purpose of finding a marriage partner should include having a healthy conflict resolution or how you treat each other when you're at odds or stressed.

  • Make sure you trust them

When you're dating to find a marriage partner, ask yourself whether or not you truly trust the other person. When you trust someone, you believe the person tells you the truth, won't hurt or deceive you, and has your best interests at heart.

Bear in mind, trust is always a two-way street: you need to have the ability to trust someone else, but it is also just as important to have a trustworthy partner.


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