There have been multiple reports of this same or a similar scenario in the past.
Smyth and his Tinder date went out to eat, then went back to his place for “a bottle of wine and a Scientology documentary,” according to a GoFundMe campaign he started.
“About an hour into Louis Theroux and chill, my date got up to use the toilet. She returned with a panicked look in her eye, and told me she had something to tell me,” he wrote.
Now here’s where things get weird.
“’I went for a poo in your toilet,’ she told me, ‘and it would not flush. I don't know why I did this, but I panicked,’ she continued. ‘I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window.’”
Yes, you read that correctly.
At first we were a bit skeptical. After all, there have been multiple reports of this same or a similar scenario in the past. In 2016, Mic.com reported that a woman clogged her date's toilet and decided to wrap her poop up and stick it in her purse. However, in a moment of clarity, she tried flushing it again, and it worked—the guy never knew what happened.
Another incident involved Youtuber Monica Vision, who told her story about having to remove her feces out of her date's toilet and throwing it out in the trash in high school because it wouldn't flush.
How could this be an actual thing people have done? Surely there had to have been a better way to go about this, right?
But the incident in England takes things a step further.
“Unfortunately, owing to a design quirk of my house, the toilet window does not in fact open to the garden, but instead into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, separated from the outside world by another (non-opening) double-glazed window,” Smyth said. “It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo.”
Smyth was all set to smash the window open with a hammer, but his date had other ideas. She decided to reach into the window and pull it out with a plastic bag. She couldn’t reach, but she was no quitter, so she climbed in even further. And when that didn’t work, Smyth decided to give her a boost.
But they weren’t out of the woods, yet. Smyth said that although his date was eventually successful in her mission, she couldn’t climb back out of the window, even with the help of Smyth. As a result, she was stuck upside down. And after 15 minutes of trying—and failing—to get her out, Smyth called the local fire department, the Avon Fire and Rescue Service.
Smyth said the firefighters who came to his house took everything in good stride and were very professional about it.
No one from the Avon Fire and Rescue Service was able to be reached for comment upon the time of publication.
It took 15 minutes for the firefighters to get her out, and although Smyth’s date was unharmed, his window was completely destroyed in the process.
“I'm not complaining, they did what they had to do,” Smyth said. “Problem is, I've been quoted north of £300 to replace the window. As a postgraduate student, that is a significant chunk of my monthly budget. In fact, that is my monthly budget.”
So he has enlisted the help of the GoFundMe to raise the money. And having now surpassed his original fundraising goal, Smyth has decided to donate the excess funds to the Avon Fire and Rescue Service and a charity called Toilet Twinning, which builds and maintains flushing toilets in underdeveloped countries.
Perhaps the most surprising part is how good of a sport Smyth was about the whole ordeal. He was willing to forget it ever happened, and he even met up with her again to discuss setting up the crowdfunder.
“She’s a lovely girl,” he said. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen—I’m really busy with my dissertation at the moment, but I’d certainly be open to seeing her again.”
May this be the start of a wonderful relationship.