Breaking up is not easy. When you go through a break-up, it is easy to feel sad, lost and even heartbroken. Your friends try to pick you up, as do your family. But deep inside, you know that youâre not really fine. And no matter how many times you go through the process, it doesnât get any easier. The sense of loss is always sharp. One of the worst things about breaking up is the advice that well-meaning people try to give you.
They throw cliches in your direction, tell you that he so wasnât worth it, and that there are plenty more fish in the sea. Rather than make you feel better, it just makes you feel a little frustrated. And because everyone deals with a breakup in different ways, letâs take a look at 10 breakup myths that are actually untrue.
Because It Wasnât âOfficialâ You Canât Be That Sad
Okay, so you and your boyfriend were never âofficial.â You didnât announce your relationship on Facebook or to work colleagues, and consequently it was just a casual thing. Therefore, you obviously didnât care all that much about him in the first place and are thus not going to miss him! Er, wrong. You might not have been officially a pair, but this doesnât mean that you didnât have a lot of feelings for him. There may have been many reasons for you two not coming out in the open, and it may well be that it was him that was telling you to keep quiet about it all. The truth was, you probably wanted to tell the whole world.
To Get Over Someone, You Need To Date Someone Else
They call this the rebound effect: when youâre so troubled at having lost someone, that you immediately run to the arms of another just to feel wanted again. Rather than spend your nights crying into your pillow, lying next to someone is still better than nothing. The truth is that it really isnât. Rebound relationships never last more than a week or two, and they only keep your personal agony at bay for a little longer. You will still face a flood of emotion eventually, and you will in fact feel a lot worse, because sandwiched between your former lover and your emotions isanother guy!
You Can Never Get Back With Your Ex
Your friends tell you this all the time. According to them, itâs a rule written in stone. âI really want to give it another go,â you say. âNo. No. You are not going there. Iâve got a few guys lined up instead for you. Here, meet Colin. Heâs 45, slightly balding (though donât mention it because he gets shy), and is looking for work.â Perhaps itâs due to a bad experience they had personally, but your friends will be desperate to convince you that exes do not go well together. The truth, though, is that you can definitely get back with your ex. Things might not have worked out so well the first time around, but they can definitely work out the second time. It happens.
You Can Still Be Friends
Okay, sometimes you can still be friends. And if youâve just been broken up with for the first ever time, youâll definitely believe that the two of you will remain friends forever. You might not be able to kiss him, but at least you can still call him up whenever you want and hang out, right? It seems like a nice idea, but it very rarely works out like this. Exes donât tend to remain in touch with one another. Eventually, they fade out of each otherâs lives so completely that there will come a time when you donât even have his number anymore.
You Need Closure
What is it with people needing closure after a relationship? Itâs as though they canât move on with their life until they âget closure.â Their appetite is awry, theyâve taken a few days off work, and they refuse to date anyone else until close has been had. You donât need closure. This is a myth. Sometimes, a sense of closure might help, but certainly not always. Rather than confront your ex and find out what really went wrong, you should just let sleeping dogâs lie and move on with your life.
You Shouldnât Delete Him From Facebook
Your friends say to you that if you delete him from Facebook, you will look bitter and sore. You will look as though youâre trying to get revenge and, anyway, youâll be adding him again in six months time when you realise that you miss all his silly statuses and funny selfies. No, this is a lie. Youâre perfectly within your rights to delete him from your Facebook if you know that seeing his status updates and photographs will only make you feel down in the dumps. Moreover, he probably wonât even notice youâve deleted him until after a week or two, while nobody is going to be writing âBITTER!!â on your wall, are they?
You Must Show The World That Youâre Over Him
How many times have you seen girls and guys take to Facebook after a breakup to show the world that theyâre better off without their ex? Theyâll make a gazillion status updates about how great their life is (despite updating their status once a year previously), and post lots of pics of that time they went to a party last night, the night before and the night before that. Life is AWESOME! The truth is that life isnât awesome, and after a week youâll burn out before breaking down into a tear-stained ball on the sofa. Youâve got nothing to prove, and you certainly donât need to flaunt your ânew great lifeâ on social media. Just deal with your emotions privately and let yourself heal naturally.
You Broke Up With Him, So You Should Get Over It Quicker
Just because you broke up with him, it does not mean that you should get over it instantly. Sometimes, we end a relationship because we know that it just isnât working or because we both have different plans for the future. For example, you might break up with a guy because you want children and he doesnât. You take control and end things because someone has to. But you still suffer.
Never Believe The Line ''Itâs Not You; Itâs Me''.
At some point, weâve all been treated to the classic âItâs not you, itâs me,â breakup line. And because weâve heard it so many times in the movies, we canât help but smirk whenever the other person says it. Before breaking down because we know that it really is us. The truth, though, is that it really is them, and theyâre admitting it.
You Shouldnât Dwell On It
Um, actually you should totally dwell on it. Thinking about your relationship and what went wrong can actually speed up the healing process, giving you a chance to remember who you were when you were single previously.
Source: Beauty and Tips