Diamond Jack, As Told To Alexis Jones

But I never expected that after the show aired, I would be getting death threats, and being called biphobic and homophobic. That's not who I am.

Its shocking to me that so many people have felt comfortable making assumptions about me based on a few minutes of a television show that I went on to find love.

<h1> When Carlton told me he was bisexual, I wondered why he hadnt told me sooner. </h1>

Wed spent at least an hour a day, usually more, for what felt like three weeks in the pods talking (although it was only nine days!). I couldnt believe hed kept something this big from me. I had so many questions. I began to worry that everything else he told me in the pods might not be true eitherwas I really the love of his life?

I would never judge anyone for their sexuality. When Carlton initially told me he was bisexual, I let him talk and express himself.

I really tried to put his feelings before mine. I didnt know if this was him admitting his bisexuality for the first time out loud to anyone or just to me. I was doing my best to console him and make sure that he didnt feel attacked on my end.

He was very vulnerable, and I got emotional and vulnerable as well. I felt like the best thing to do in that situation was to listen, let him get it off his chest, and be there for him. And thats what I was trying to do. I rubbed his back and told him he could be himself. What you saw on camera is what actually went down.

Things escalated quickly, though. The questions I did asklike Why didnt you tell me you were bisexual earlier in the pods? and "How do you know I'm the love of your life?"led Carlton to get defensive.

I felt like my feelings were being invalidated.

<h1> Dont get me wrong, I empathize with Carlton and anyone who chooses to come out in such a public way. </h1>

But I dont deserve the treatment Ive been getting online. The death threats have been the most hurtful. They make me feel like I have to watch my back wherever I go.

Luckily, my mom has been there for me to help me process it all. She was actually the first person I called and cried to after the blow up with Carlton, and she watched the show with me when it premiered on Netflix. She's been so supportive of me.

Id never had anyone come out to me before, let alone on national television. I understand that Carlton was fearful that I wouldnt be accepting of him. I know there are people who wouldnt say yes to a proposal from someone who is bisexual. I never said I was one of those people. I just wanted to ask questions and figure out where our relationship stood because he'd kept such a big part of himself a secret from me.

Now, still months after the shows premiere, I continue to receive messages on Instagram calling me biphobic or homophobic. Ive received dozens of death threats in my DMs.

In the beginning, I was able to let it go because I knew that wasnt me. I've always considered myself an ally to the LGBTQ community.

But now, I try to limit my social media use because posting a selfie just isnt worth the name calling. Its gotten draining to even log on.

<h1> Despite the hateful comments, my appearance on the show was worth it. It taught me a lot about about myself and what it means to be an ally. </h1>

If theres anything this show has inspired and motivated me to do, its to be true and honest to myself. I feel like the entire experience taught me to stand strong in who I am and that people will always have something to say about you. But if you know who you are and that being who you are will make you happythen be that and love that.

To anyone who wants to be a good ally, the best thing Ive learned to do is listen. And dont be quick to judge. Whether someone in the LBGTQ community is coming out to you or just expressing an experience they've had in the past, your best bet is to keep your ears and heart open.

I know a lot of people are still saying that my comments sounded biphobic or homophobic. But that was never my intention. I handled it the best way that I could by listening and trying to be supportive. And I encourage others to do the same.

‘Love Is Blind's’ Diamond Jack On Being An Ally

I went on Love Is Blind very hopeful. I thought that the shows concept was different enough to work, and I liked the idea of picking a partner without the influence of race, looks, or social networks playing into my decision.

‘Love Is Blind's’ Diamond Jack On What She's Learned About Allyship Since The Show Aired

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Diamond Jack, As Told To Alexis Jones

Articles written by the author

‘Love Is Blind's’ Diamond Jack On What She's Learned About Allyship Since The Show Aired