Jessica Migala

<p>Yet during this past week, the CDC reported a <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2020/07/08/us-reports-record-single-day-spike-of-60000-new-coronavirus-cases.html" id="57d88076-ca40-361a-afd8-50d851087d00">  record daily high of 60,000 new cases </a> on Wednesday. If youre tired of hearing those numbers, so are a lot of people. This time, the threat of rising cases doesnt speak to you like it did back in March. It doesnt mean you dont care about the situation, but that youve burned out on it.</p>

<p>Why is it so hard to keep doing what weve been doing for so many months? </p>

<p>Were realizing that COVID-19 seems to be here to stay, and thats a tough burden, says <a href="https://wexnermedical.osu.edu/find-a-doctor/douglas-misquitta-md-42788" id="62cc00c9-aa77-3fae-a0fd-ed668f7c7fdb">  Doug Misquitta, MD </a> , a psychiatrist with The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. Initially, many governors said that stay-at-home orders would last two weeks. Maybe three. That stretched into three months in many places in the country. Its like you prepared to run a 5K but you got to the start of the race to find out youd signed up for a 100-mile ultramarathon at night through the woods. Your endurance for the pandemic has burned out, especially if your usual coping strategiesseeing friends and family in person, working out in the gym or on certain trailswerent available.</p>

<p>So it makes sense that you hit a tipping point whereboomtheres this restlessness. You want to do things you havent been able to do and you want to stop the perma-vigilance. Essentially, theres only so much energy you have to spend on constant caution, and youre not sure youre able to renew it. There have been months of being cooped up, so youre almost in a caged-tiger mentality, Dr. Misquitta says. </p>

<p>A lot has been piling up to get us to this point of caution fatigue. People are tired of public health recommendations, especially ones they perceive to be uncomfortable. And in some instances, permission to be over the pandemic runs along political lines. On top of it, there are mixed messages: Some are about how important it is to open up, others are expressing serious concern about the pace of reopening and its health impacts. So people are left to themselves to decide which to go with. And, as Tess Wilkinson-Ryan recently pointed out in <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/07/reopening-psychological-morass/613858/?utm_medium=social&amp;utm_source=facebook&amp;utm_campaign=the-atlantic&amp;utm_content=edit-promo&amp;utm_term=2020-07-06T10%3A30%3A31" id="89b4777a-62be-3cc1-ae45-2fb207ba0b1d">  The Atlantic </a> , in situations like these that require a certain type of risk calculation, people often tend to be swayed more by the recommendation that benefits them more.</p>

<p>This kind of coronavirus burnoutCOVID-caution fatiguecan also especially set in if you dont know anyone who had COVID-19 or if <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/health/a32811356/who-statement-asymptomatic-spread-coronavirus/" id="6e44b046-8ac1-3e1e-a616-92304cf1b0db">  nothing bad happened to them </a> if they did. Recently, people were feeling pretty good about <a href="https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2020-05-18/most-us-states-reopening-as-coronavirus-cases-decline" id="66045de0-3fb8-3836-a509-0b2bae8602f7">  declining cases </a> (until, you know, these past couple of weeks). The more successful we are and the less disease we see that touches us individually, the more vigilance fatigue crops up, says <a href="https://www.feinberg.northwestern.edu/faculty-profiles/az/profile.html?xid=14797" id="87a64927-016d-34c8-ad95-a63655934153">  Mercedes Carnethon, PhD </a> , vice chair of preventive medicine and an epidemiologist at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago. Meaning that youve been waiting for something bad to happen, and when nothing does, you see all that waiting not as the reason for success but a cue that its time to get back to normal. You didnt see the enemy and didnt get scared.</p>

<h1>  How to Stay Safe Without Getting Burned Out On It  </h1>

<p>The question becomes how can you cautiously find a way to move forward and live with COVID-19, but in a way that doesnt involve burnout, says Carnethon. Its a balance, she says. And you can help yourself manage vigilance fatigue and keep good health going with these strategies: </p>

<h1>  Recognize that all this COVID caution is still worth doing.  </h1>

<p>Being a healthy guy who does HIIT and eats well doesnt really get you off the hook for continuing to be cautious now. My message to healthy men is: If you contract it, youll probably be okay unless youre not. There are enough stories on the internet about <a href="https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/maryanngeorgantopoulos/coronavirus-victim-anick-jesdanun-ap-marathons" id="a2540e9a-e6cf-39a9-a873-f605d5c0ea69">  men who ran marathons </a> and died of COVID-19, says Carnethon. Recent data, she says, shows infection rates are roughly equal among men and women but <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/health/a31265159/men-coronavirus/" id="f4c0424c-f882-3ced-a160-13e958d7e82e">  men are more likely to die of the disease </a> .</p>

<p>Its easy to get in the weeds of the rules and what you should or shouldnt be doing or are allowed to do. Or about things like exactly what thread count mask you should be wearing. Best to focus on the big picturethe thread count of the mask may not matter as much as what youre doing in that mask and for how long and how you handle the mask. Theres guidance on the big picture, and you know what it is: continue physically distancing, keeping gatherings small, and <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/health/a32585286/men-less-likely-to-wear-masks/" id="b84adb18-ef2c-3d68-a6bc-3a9023ba3d45">  wearing a mask in public </a> and other social settings.</p>

<p>We want everyone to be healthy. You should be doing the things you love to do and the things you need to do to take care of yourself, says Dr. Misquitta. It becomes about compromise right nowhaving drinks on a patio <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/health/a32983152/public-restrooms-safety-coronavirus/" id="86ff075f-6fd5-343e-a385-3be4092205e1">  instead of going to a bar </a> , heading to a park to exercise, having a small group of friends over instead of a Saturday night blowout. Make data-driven decisions rather than fear-based ones, and you can glide into a new normal that doesnt feel so bad.</p>

When Preventing COVID Feels So Exhausting

Youre tired of hearing about <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/coronavirus/" id="9b71fb91-e3de-35cf-a64a-d60490a003e2">  COVID-19 </a> , tired of watching out for it. If you look at scenes of packed beaches and bars, youd say the coronavirus pandemic is wearing thin. People are just burned out on dealing with it.

Preventing COVID is So Exhausting

<p>Widespread testing could not only just help you, but could help the community as a whole because it could give leaders a sense of the scope of the disease and a sense of whether theres any sort of herd immunityinformation thats unknown right now.</p>

<p>So should you run to your local urgent care to get one? Head over to one of those tents in a parking lot that test you on-the-spot? </p>

<p>Before you hop in your car to go (does it even start anymore?), there are some basics you should know, because experts suggest these arent as promising yet as they sound. </p>

<p>In fact, while a number of tests are out in the marketplace and being used right now, none of them are FDA approved yet. The reason the tests are out in the marketplace and being used right now is because of an order granting a provisional FDA approval for these tests to be done. Currently, according to the FDA, there are <a href="https://www.fda.gov/news-events/press-announcements/coronavirus-covid-19-update-serological-test-validation-and-education-efforts" id="6c8fbe62-52ed-3999-a92d-a8326168066f">  four tests </a> that have been given emergency use authorizations (EUA). That means unapproved tests can be used in emergencies, especially when there arent any approved alternatives.</p>

<p>Heres what to know about these tests: </p>

<p>These blood tests, also called serologic tests, measure IgG and IgM antibodies, which your body produces in response to an infection with the novel coronavirus. Antibodies are what allow us to have protection against reinfection from a virus, says <a href="https://www.instagram.com/cureurgentcare/?hl=en" id="4d9f4ed3-031f-33c1-ae8c-46bbad3d6779">  Jake Deutsch, MD </a> , co-founder and clinical director of <a href="https://cureurgentcare.com/" id="114f6959-1c6f-365d-ae5e-b2c3f34a8229">  Cure Urgent </a> Care in New York City.</p>

<p>There are two types of tests. The first is a serum blood test, which involves drawing your blood. The second is a finger prick test, which is a point-of-care test. Basically, it means the test is done and results are given to you on the spot. Think drive-through testing sites that feature a big tent in a parking lot.</p>

<h1> What does an antibody test really tell you? </h1>

<p>Ideally, a good antibody test could tell you who had a COVID-19 infection and who didnt, says Dr. Kesh. It could reveal if someone was exposed to the novel coronavirus. (It does not diagnose you with the disease; you need a different type of test for that.) </p>

<p>This is the big problem. Experts are concerned that some tests will show that people have immunity when they do not. Part of the problem could be the test, another part of the problem could be the timing of the test, and then theres an issue of how to really interpret the results. </p>

<h1>  What to know about the finger-prick test </h1>

<p>The least accurate test available at this time, experts say, is the finger-prick test. These only have 85% accuracy because theyre insensitive and theres a lot of opportunity for user error, says Dr. Deutsch. (Your finger is pricked, the blood is sucked up into a test tube, dropped into a reagent solution, swirled around, and then sucked back up in that test tubepossibly contaminating the sampleand then its dropped onto a test strip.) Rapid tests are inconsistent and user dependent, he says, noting that he has given himself one and found it difficult as a medical professional to do so. </p>

<h1>  What to know about the serum test </h1>

<p>This type, at least as far as the current options on the market, isnt foolproof, either. </p>

<p>To tell you want you want to know, the test has to be well timed. Were you just sick? If you check for antibodies too early (up to 10 days after the infection starts) you may get a false negative result, as your body didnt have enough time to make a measurable level of antibodies, says Dr. Kesh.</p>

<p>The test also has to be sensitive enough to be able to tell which coronavirus you were exposed tothere are four other types of coronaviruses circulating around (including types that cause the common cold). If you were to get an antibody test, you want one that is specific enough to detect if you are immune to SARS-COV-2, which causes COVID-19not just any one of the coronaviruses that causes colds. Serum blood tests are more likely to be able to tell you this than finger-prick ones are.</p>

<p>Adding to the complexity is the fact that there is not yet enough data available to know what antibody level is necessary to confer immunity, says Dr. Kesh. A test can tell you that you have antibodiesbut do you have enough to fight the virus and confer immunity?</p>

<p>Another wrinkle: Whether immunity for yourself means you cant spread an infection to others. The jurys still out on that. </p>

<h1> I tested positive for the antibodies, does that mean Im immune forever? </h1>

<p>Experts dont know yet. Once you get a test that the FDA stamps its approval on (which would ensure that you have the most accurate results in hand), you can relax a bit. We dont know exactly for how long, but, as with most of these viruses, immunity lasts for at least several months, says Dr. Kesh. But we dont have that test yet. </p>

<p>What you have to assume if you do get a test that even if you do have antibodies and the test was accurate, you are only immune for now. You still would need to get a vaccine once one comes out, says Dr. Kesh. </p>

<h1> The bottom line on whether you should get an antibody test </h1>

<p>Heres what I tell my family and friends: Call your doctor, says Dr. Kesh. Ask the office if theyre recommending a specific test for patients. Dr. Deutsch believes in the test he offers patients, noting that its 97% accurate in detecting that there are antibodies to the virus in the sample. Your insurance may cover the test (although youd still need to pay your co-pay or co-insurance). Always ask your doctor or urgent care facility about your own coverage options. Of course, going into a facility could potentially expose you to the virus, so Dr. Deutsch urges people to pre-register rather than walk in to reduce wait times. </p>

<p>Dr. Keshs office tells patients that when they have an antibody test they recommend, theyll make it available. The worst thing would be to get false reassurance that youre immune and relax, she says. </p>

<p>But things are changing fast, and Dr. Kesh expects the FDA to back a test soon.</p>

You want to know if you have immunity to COVID-19. And now there are tests on the marketantibody teststhat promise to tell you if you were exposed to the novel coronavirus or had the disease. The hope is that these tests, if done in a widespread way, can offer clues on whether its safe to go back to work or relax social distancing measures, says <a href="https://www.westmedgroup.com/providers/sandra-kesh/" id="0fc2d2c7-95b9-3b1e-aeea-9c0812be3966">  Sandra Kesh </a> , MD, Deputy Medical Direc...

Should You Get a COVID-19 Antibody Test?

<p>Ever since the novel coronavirus <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a31249898/what-is-a-pandemic-vs-epidemic/" id="b69b3b87-2647-30f9-af7d-fa4f2785f450">  was declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization on March 11 </a> , life looks...different. Sporting events, parades, festivals, and concerts are being cancelled. Tons of people are putting travel plans on hold, and flights between the U.S. and Europe are temporarily banned.</p>

<p>So. Yeah. What does this mean for those plans you had to meet friends for dinner, go to that house party, or, I dunno, go to the gym/a park/the movies/a grocery store this weekend? (You know, your normal stuff.)</p>

<p>Since the virus that causes COVID-19 is mainly spread via respiratory droplets (thanks to a cough, a sneeze), experts recommend whats called social distancing, which...can mean different things. For instance, in my community, common meeting spots, like the library, park district, and schools have closed. <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/education/2020/03/12/coronavirus-school-closings-ohio-maryland-washington-seattle-king-closures/5036252002/" id="46a5b35f-23ab-3690-ae2f-e1c425be1d71">  Several states have shut down schools entirely </a> . And many larger gatherings, like <a href="https://www.runnersworld.com/news/a31353444/coronavirus-marathons-running-events-postponed-canceled/" id="e7a3b04f-6c6e-3b31-aa1a-c23e8818ecc9">  races </a> and the NCAA tournament, have been cancelled. Thats a social distancing decision made for you.</p>

<p>History tells us this is smart when it comes to slowing the spread. During the 1918 influenza pandemic, for example, Philadelphia was slow to institute social distancing measures, while St. Louis shut down gatherings early on, says Catherine Troisi, PhD, an infectious disease epidemiologist at The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston. As a result, St. Louis had many fewer infections and deaths, she says. </p>

<p>Laying low doesnt stop transmission entirely, but it can help flatten the curve (as in the growth curve of people testing positive for novel coronavirus). The reason this is so important is because, if everyone gets sick at once and theres a large spike in cases, the healthcare system wont be able to handle the influx of patients. </p>

<p>If you flatten the curve by slowing transmission, youll spread out the need for the resources and hopefully buy time until theres an antiviral medication out and, eventually, a vaccine, Troisi says.</p>

<p>What were learning about novel coronavirus and COVID-19 is rapidly changing. That said, Troisi emphasizes that it's not enough to just stay home when you're sick. (Though you should definitely do that.) </p>

<p>With this virus, were pretty sure that people are infectious before they have symptoms, which can expose other people, says Troisi. And those people could be the ones most vulnerable to suffering complications from COVID-19, including the elderly, immunocompromised, and those with chronic diseases. </p>

<p>"People are not going to be hermits," says Troisi. "You have to take into consideration your particular circumstance and how much risk youre willing to take." In many instances, the choice is yours. </p>

<h1>  The upshot? Youll probably have to change your weekend plans.  </h1>

<p>Heres your social distancing action plan, courtesy of Troisi:</p>

<p><strong> Order in:  </strong> Delivery is your friend. Order groceries, order dinner, order booze. If you really want to be cautious, you can include leave at my front door in the delivery instructions and use the app to leave a tip. Use it as a chance to get through your Netflix queue. </p>

<p><strong> Skip the crowds.  </strong> Many cities and states have issued guidelines on what cancelling larger events means, and in some instances, thats considered gatherings of 50, 100, 250, or 1000 people, says Troisi. At the moment, these guidelines will differ depending on where you live. Check what, if any, rules are in effect. Personally, you might consider postponing that party you were going to throw, even if its only 20 people. Even smaller gatheringslike, going to a couple's place for dinner, sayisn't completely off-limits; it depends on your level of risk aversion, says Troisi.</p>

<p><strong> Definitely go outside.  </strong> At this time, you do not have to stay in your home, and doing so could have ramifications on your mental health. I recommend going out in nature, whether its your backyard or a park thats not so busy, says Troisi. "Being outside is good for our mental health, and we know exercise, even walking, boosts the immune system, so its a win-win, she says.</p>

<p><strong> Give them their space.  </strong> Troisi <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a31446690/coronavirus-covid-19-gym-workout-safety/" id="e82909d8-dfa9-3fb8-ab0b-acf8581a1f98">  still goes to the gym </a> . Theres likely not a lot of people there anyway at this time, but aside from hygiene measures like using hand sanitizer and wiping down equipment (and letting the wetness dry) before using it, social distancing means putting space between you and others. Right now, were learning that the virus might be able to linger in the air and spread via aerosol, but in general, we think that if youre more than 6 feet from someone, youre probably okay, she says. This will be different depending on where you are, but in a gym situation, if youre hopping on a bike, for instance, dont use the one thats right next to someone, choose one thats, like, four bikes down.</p>

<p><strong> Wave to people.  </strong> Dont shake hands, kiss hello, or hug. Doing so definitely puts you within that 6-foot range of someone else. And shaking hands is one way for someone to quite literally hand you a virus. Touching your face afterward would introduce the virus into your body.</p>

<p><strong> Skip public transportation if you can.  </strong> Social distancing means that you're not taking public transportation, says Troisi. That's not possible for everyone, of course. In that case, do your best to put physical distance between you and other riders. As for shared rides, Troisi says, it's typically just one or two people in the car, so there's not much risk involved. "But if you yourself are sick, you don't want to [take a shared ride], period," adds Troisi.</p>

<p><strong> Reassess as you go.  </strong> The info about COVID-19 is continually changing. What you do this weekend may be different from whats advisable next weekend, says Troisi. Be prepared to change things up. Living in a time of uncertainty is certainly unnerving, but remember: Its not going to be like this forever.</p>

What Does 'Social Distancing' Really Mean?

What Does Social Distancing To Prevent The Spread Of The New Coronavirus ~Actually~ Mean?

<p>First off, it might help put your mind at ease to know that most cases are mild, and the majority of people who contract novel coronavirus do fully recover. Of the 44,672 coronavirus cases that were confirmed in China by February 11, more than 36,000 (81 percent) of those cases were mild, a <a href="http://weekly.chinacdc.cn/en/article/id/e53946e2-c6c4-41e9-9a9b-fea8db1a8f51" id="13b02689-7dea-35ad-aa5e-828e11314b08">  recent study </a> published by the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention found. This study is the largest conducted to date on the novel coronavirus, and the researchers specifically defined mild as cases that didnt involve pneumonia or involved only mild pneumonia.</p>

<p>So, for the majority of people, COVID-19 produces <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a31198534/coronavirus-symptoms-vs-cold-flu/" id="e74b2194-c6bc-3df3-ae05-5e7ad18d770e">  cold- or flu-like symptoms </a> , and you can bounce back just fine. For those in at-risk groups, like the immunocompromised (aka people with chronic conditions like diabetes or heart or lung disease) and the elderly, COVID-19 may require hospitalization and can be deadly.</p>

<p>Because it's a novel virus, scientists are continually learning about how COVID-19 gets around to more and more people. That said, we have a pretty good idea of how [this virus] spreads, says <a href="https://www.rushu.rush.edu/faculty/michael-lin-md-mph" id="6b962e79-14e6-3305-a38d-1122f7aa6616">  Michael Lin, MD, MPH </a> , associate professor in the division of infectious diseases at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. It spreads via droplet and contact transmission," he explains. "In other words: being coughed on by a sick person or touching a surface contaminated with the virus."</p>

<p>Still, there are a lot of misconceptions about how this virus spreads, and people are Googling alllll sorts of questions about it. So, here are answers to six popular Qs about COVID-19 transmission. Knowing what you canand can't!get novel coronavirus from can go a long way in keeping you safe, healthy, and worry-free.</p>

<h1>  Q: Can you get coronavirus from direct contact?  </h1>

<p><strong> A: </strong> Yes. Heres what that means: The virus is in high concentration in body secretions like nasal mucous and saliva, says Dr. Lin. So if someone coughs or sneezes into their hand (a very common habit!) and then touches your hand (and then you touch your nose, mouth, or eyes), that can transmit the virus to you. (The same goes for viruses that cause the common <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19900267/how-to-prevent-a-cold/" id="17509a8e-140b-38bc-ac21-37b60b39eff4">  cold and flu </a> , by the way.) The same can happen if they sneeze or cough around you or, eek, on you.</p>

<p>The CDC is telling folks to practice social distancing, which means staying six feet away from other people. Thats not always possible, of course, but ideally you're definitely staying six feet away from those who are visibly ill (coughing, sneezing, displaying a runny nose, etc.). Also, nows the time to avoid shaking hands or kissing someone on the cheek, reminds Dr. Lin. Bring on the friendly wave or nod.</p>

<h1>  Q: What about touching stuff? How long does novel coronavirus live on surfaces?   </h1>

<p><strong> A: </strong> It's thought that the new coronavirus can live on surfaces, but the answer is still not totally clear. There are mixed reports about what types of surfaces it can live on (e.g., stainless steal, plastic, glass), as well as for how long on each type of surface. The <a href="https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/q-a-coronaviruses" id="88232bd9-1970-3cfd-aefc-e33d3ac40052">  World Health Organization (WHO) </a> estimates that it can live on some surfaces for anywhere from a few hours to several days, but the reality is that this is still an evolving science, says Dr. Lin.</p>

<p>The <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/faq.html#spreads" id="39f047fe-087e-353b-a208-1abd3fbc9d75">  CDC </a> states: "It may be possible that a person can get COVID-19 by touching a surface or object ... but this is not thought to be the main way the virus spreads." Still, you want to be extra cautious about handling common-touch objects, like railings, elevator buttons, and door handles.</p>

<h1> Q: Can you get COVID-19 from touching mail and packages?  </h1>

<p><strong> A: </strong> The answer is similar to the one aboveresearchers still aren't sure if (and for how long) the virus can survive on and be picked up from mailing materials, like paper and cardboard. According to the <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/faq.html" id="0bb4402a-e460-3cc5-a225-fb60f2cf98c2">  CDC </a> , "because of poor survivability of these coronaviruses on surfaces, there is likely very low risk of spread from food products or packaging that are shipped over a period of days or weeks at ambient, refrigerated, or frozen temperatures." And yes, that includes packages coming from areas where there are novel coronavirus outbreaks.</p>

<h1>  Q: Can you get coronavirus from poop or farts?   </h1>

<p><strong> A: </strong> Yup, people are searching this Q! While the most often-cited <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/downloads/COVID19-symptoms.pdf" id="f2720d17-da07-3a4f-a6cb-14e14f96b5cb">  symptoms of COVID-19 </a> are fever, cough, and shortness of breath, some people also have abdominal discomfort and diarrhea before the cough comes on, according to a series of new research in <a href="https://www.newswise.com/articles/gi-symptoms-and-potential-fecal-transmission-in-coronavirus-patients?sc=dwhn" id="14834c08-7aee-3917-a974-5322d339137b">  Gastroenterology </a> . Scientists also say that the virus is shed in the stool, which means that theres potential for fecal-oral transmission.</p>

<p>Basically, this means it might be possible to contract it through food or water that's been contaminated by fecal matter. But more still has to be learned here, and Dr. Lin says that sneezing, coughing, and touching shared surfaces are likely the main sources of spread.</p>

<h1>  Q: Can you get coronavirus from fabric/clothes/carpet?   </h1>

<p><strong> A: </strong>  It's unclear at this point whether coronavirus can live on soft materials like fabric, clothing, towels, and carpetand for how long if that is the case. Again, you can't totally avoid fabrics, so the best way to protect yourself is to frequently wash your hands and avoid touching your face. </p>

<h1> Q: Can you get coronavirus from dogs and cats?  </h1>

<p><strong> A: </strong> Currently, it doesn't look as if pets like dogs and cats can pass the virus to humans, according to the <a href="https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/advice-for-public/myth-busters" id="e3da1e1f-32d8-3bb4-a0ef-a1e2f58dbf99">  WHO </a> . The new coronavirus is primarily spread through human-to-human coughing and sneezing. Still, there have been some <a href="https://www.sciencenews.org/article/coronavirus-dog-pet-hong-kong-infection" id="70a595e4-e4e2-32de-ab30-6de00744ab37">  rare cases of pets testing positive for the virus </a> , but experts believe that it's unlikely it would spread back to a human from a pet.</p>

<h1> Regardless of how the virus spreads, you should still practice the same prevention habits.  </h1>

<p>Washing your hands and not touching your face are your best defenses, no mater who you come into contact with or what you happen to touch. The <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/handwashing/when-how-handwashing.html" id="dc59a638-acd8-38f9-ad88-c801926bf65b">  CDC gives a fantastic primer here </a> , and if you want a visual check out this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJfsyhQ0oBs" id="b829101b-0ed9-3bb2-aa5b-fc14bc489ab3">  YouTube video </a> of Mayo Clinics Gregory Poland, MD, in which he demonstrated the proper way to wash on Jimmy Kimmel Live! a few years back.</p>

<p>Using a 60 percent alcohol-based hand sanitizer is another great way to rid your own hands of germs and prevent their spread, though they are next to impossible to find right now. But rest assured, soap and water is effective. </p>

<p><strong> The bottom line: </strong>  The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus and prevent the spread is to wash your hands, avoid touching your face, cover your coughs and sneezes, keep a distance from people in public, and stay home if youre ill.</p>

A *lot* is happening right now with novel coronavirus (COVID-19), and you're likely hearing new updates throughout the day. There are more than 1,000 cases of COVID-19 in the U.S., according to the latest report from the <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-in-us.html" id="489158be-cd4a-3531-a657-71eb17884a43">  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) </a> . And it's totally understandable if you have endless questions about the new virus, including how you or som...

How Does Novel Coronavirus Spread? Everything You Can—And Can't—Get It From

<h1> How Gross Is The Water Fountain? </h1>

<p>Dicey enough that youll want to let the water run a bit before you sip, says Michael Schmidt, Ph.D., a microbiologist at the Medical University of South Carolina. If theres a refillable-bottle option, use that. </p>

<p>But if you use your own bottle, you have to wash it with soap and water every day. Bacteria from lips and hands multiply like crazy in there, especially if theres residue from sugar- or protein-rich drinks, says Kelly Reynolds, Ph.D., a health-risk researcher at the University of Arizona. </p>

<p>Fairly gross. From a decency perspective, its gross to sweat on shared equipment (and the floor, for that matter) at the gym. From a health standpoint, it doesnt matter if its yours or someone elsessweat helps transfer bacteria and viruses from one spot to another. </p>

<p>When sweat is added, any surface at the gym thats already dirty basically becomes a live petri dish full of nasty bugs. Just remember: Drying isnt the same as disinfecting. Use the antibacterial spray or gym wipes before you put your towel down. </p>

<p>Worse than youd expect. Kent State researchers who swabbed 16 different gyms found that nearly 40 percent of all surfaces harbored staph, a bacteria that can cause serious infections. Most likely to be germy: the <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/fitness/a26831068/medicine-ball-workouts/" id="59712b0b-b8e7-394f-aa6b-f1203f5af3c5">  medicine ball </a> , which clocked hot at nearly twice that percentage, according to Mark Dalman, Ph.D., lead researcher on that study. Other studies have found salmonella and MRSA lurking on everything from treadmills to free weights and benches. Protect against them by covering cuts and wiping your eyes, nose, and mouth with a clean towel, not your filthy hands. And wipe down the equipment before using.</p>

<p>Pretty bad. Its a simple law of nature: Anywhere thats moist and warm breeds bacteria, says podiatrist Lee Cohen, D.P.M. But in shared showers, your feet risk the biggest hit. The virus that causes plantar warts is highly contagious if you have any abrasions, as are notoriously hard-to-cure <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/health/a27425646/toenail-fungus-treatments/" id="d743daa2-6d52-356a-a6a7-ef09b11aea0e">  toenail fungus </a> and athletes foot. Theres no excuse not to wear shower shoes and wash your feet. (And clean your shower shoes from time to time, too.)</p>

<h1> How Gross Is That Energy Bar You Just Dropped? </h1>

<p>Extremely. The five-second rule doesnt apply to wet and sticky foods. They pick up germs easier than dry ones, says Schmidt, and eating them after theyve been dropped increases your odds of getting sick. Plus, more people in the gym means more germs on the floor. If you drop a PowerBar in the gym, he says, its not going in your mouth. </p>

<h1> How Gross Is Old Workout Gear? </h1>

<p>Not the worst, but the sniff test will fail you. Heat liberates odors, so what seemed innocuous in the locker room might go full stench once youre sweating. Dirty clothes wont kill you but can wreck your skin (and the workout of the person next to you). Dirt and oil can get trapped in wet fabric and may lead to clogged pores ( <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/grooming/g19536438/how-to-get-rid-of-back-acne/" id="cd8c33a6-e5cb-3036-a608-4d3a716b3f50">  bacne </a> ); bacteria in there can cause itchy rashes like folliculitis, says dermatologist Joshua Zeichner, M.D., of Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. Seriously, just bring new gear.</p>

The coronavirus has probably raised your anti-germ game already. But its not the only pathogen to think about in the gym. When you know where germs hide, you're well on your way to avoiding those germs at the gym. Heres whats really nasty, whats really not, and where you probably could clean up your gym hygiene a little.

The Germiest Places in the Gym

<p>So, its a pandemic, right? You watched Netflixs Pandemic, and this rings all too similar to the series. But, nope: Right now, COVID-19 is not a pandemic, and allow me to explain why.</p>

<h1>  What's a pandemic, again? And how is it different from an epidemic?  </h1>

<p>Back at the end of January, the <a href="https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/30-01-2020-statement-on-the-second-meeting-of-the-international-health-regulations-%282005%29-emergency-committee-regarding-the-outbreak-of-novel-coronavirus-%282019-ncov%29" id="1063b1cd-556a-3ac2-a468-d4c160995e61">  World Health Organization </a> (WHO) declared the outbreak a public health emergency of international concern. COVID-19 remains an epidemic, which means that theres been a sudden increase in the number of cases of a disease beyond what would be normally expected, says the <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/csels/dsepd/ss1978/lesson1/section11.html" id="f19770fc-7da6-3afa-adae-5e274bbb05de">  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention </a> (CDC). You might see an outbreak of a disease in a certain area of the world, for example, but not necessarily throughout the entire world.</p>

<p>Theres a lot of confusion about what a pandemic really is, <a href="https://www.westmedgroup.com/providers/sandra-kesh/" id="0fc2d2c7-95b9-3b1e-aeea-9c0812be3966">  Sandra Kesh </a> , MD, deputy medical director at Westmed Medical Group in Purchase, NY. Essentially, the WHO calls the shots on declaring an outbreak a pandemic, but may be careful about doing so because they dont want the general public unnecessarily afraid of what is going on, she says.</p>

<p>A pandemic has a larger reach, and essentially meets three criteria, says Dr. Kesh: it has sustained person-to-person spread; it causes illness, including death; and it affects a large number of people with a worldwide spread. COVID-19 seems like itd check all those boxes, right?</p>

<p>However, its the last criteriaworldwide spreadthat officials arent entirely sure about. Once you have a pandemic, the focus becomes less on trying to contain the spread and more on trying to mitigate the impact of the disease, says Dr. Kesh. The WHO feels as if we can still contain it if we harness the necessary public health resources, she says.</p>

<h1>  What are the phases of a pandemic?  </h1>

<p>If you really want to get into the weeds about pandemics and their nitty-gritty meanings, you can check out the <a href="https://www.who.int/influenza/resources/documents/pandemic_phase_descriptions_and_actions.pdf" id="119358ab-594b-31f4-a60a-130658ccddd3">  WHOs description of the phases of a pandemic. </a> Without jumping too far into it, know that there are six phases, ranging from essentially nothing is going on to theres human-to-human transmission and outbreaks in the community to there are outbreaks over the world. Following the six phases, theres also the post-peak period, where the number of cases is slowing down (phew) to the post-pandemic period where levels have returned to normal.</p>

<p>Each phase informs how officials keep their citizens (us!) safe. Its cool to understand, but dont worry too much about the exact phasesexcept for that last one, when its declared over and you can breathe easier. (Still: wash your hands!)</p>

<h1>  What are some examples of past pandemics?  </h1>

<p>The CDC has a whole section dedicated to pandemic history ( <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/flu/pandemic-resources/basics/past-pandemics.html" id="321e9f0e-d17d-3837-a3c9-961e87b48719">  see it here </a> ). There have been four pandemics. Most recently, there was the <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/flu/pandemic-resources/2009-h1n1-pandemic.html" id="416e8ae1-c40e-37dd-ab17-89e0aa17be23">  H1N1 Pandemic in 2009 </a> . You probably know it better as the swine flu, which killed up to 575,400 people in the world during its first year, and hit adults younger than 65 years old the hardest. (Unlike COVID-19, which is particularly deadly for older adults.) It lasted until August 10, 2010, though the virus is now a common strain of flu that we see every season.</p>

<p>Before that, you had the 1957-1958 Pandemic, the 1968 Pandemic, and the 1918 Pandemic. The CDC calls the 1918 flu pandemic as the most severe pandemic in recent history, as it infected one-third of the worlds population and killed 50 million people. </p>

<h1>  What changes if COVID-19 is declared a pandemic?  </h1>

<p>It shouldnt change what youre doingor at least should be doingright now, which is practicing basic hygiene practices to reduce your risk of disease, whether that's COVID-19, the seasonal flu, or the common cold. That includes washing your hands properly, using hand sanitizer liberally, avoiding common, and high-touch spots, like railings and doorknobs (if you do touch those, wash or sanitize your hands), and staying away from people who are sick or coughing or sneezing. The CDC also recommends you stop touching your face so darn much, because that gives the virus entry into your body. </p>

<p>Still, Dr. Kesh stresses that the novel coronavirus might not necessarily turn into a pandemic. In this country, early identification, testing, and containment continues to be the focus. Im optimistic there wont be widespread, sustained person-to-person transmission in the US, she says. Thats, in part, because of the robust health system in this country. </p>

<p>So, carry around your hand sanitizer, consider avoiding handshakes, and stay home if youre sick. An epidemic or pandemic does not mean, though, that you should make a run on bottled water and buy all the toilet paper you can find. That is, if theres any still left on shelves.</p>

Its not every day that a respiratory illness becomes the primary point of conversation in the U.S., but the new coronavirus, which causes the illness known as COVID-19, has us in a near-pandemic. Thats rightits not yet a pandemic, despite the fact that the virus, which originated in China, has since spread to <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-nCoV/summary.html" id="89911347-3e4b-323c-a917-f8f4debbe7c4">  70 countries </a> , has sickened 97,841 people and killed 3,347, according to...

What Is A Pandemic Vs. An Epidemic And How Is The Novel Coronavirus Classified?

<p>No matter the circumstances of your situation, it can be tough to see the path toward a happier future. But, keeping a few things front-of-mind can help you work on yourself, adjust to your new relationship with your ex, and become the person you want to be in your new chapter.</p>

<p>Take charge of your happiness and navigate tricky situations like parenting with your ex, dating again, and learning about who you are solo. You have to say to yourself: As hard as this all was, Im going to move forward, says Sussman. Here are 12 things you should know about embracing the change to build a life you love after divorce:</p>

<h1>  1. You dont have to go it alone.  </h1>

<p>If its available to you, Sussman cant recommend professional counseling enough. Sessions will help you work through your grief, which can be quite complicated, especially if there are underlying issues of abandonment or trauma, says Sussman. Until you take the time to mourn and heal, its difficult to move on, she says. <strong> How to make it happen </strong> : You have several options for finding a therapist that suits your comfort level, schedule, and budget. Look into online therapy, consult a benefits coordinator through your employer to see what coverage your plan offers, or ask for a referral from a trusted friend.</p>

<h1>  2. Iron out parenting issues.   </h1>

<p>Theres a lot of emphasis on being successful co-parents after divorce but there are alternatives that may be better for your situation, including parallel parenting (where both parents are present in their kids lives but maintain no interaction with each other). Finding the parenting agreement thats best suited for your life as a divorced couple is super important to moving forward, says Sussman.</p>

<p><strong> How to make it happen </strong> : Complicated parenting agreements only add confusion and tension, says Sussman. Make sure you've worked this out clearly and concisely with the help of a professional, like a mediator. </p>

<p>If you don't, you'll continue to fight and reenact all of the problems you had when you were in a relationship. My advice is to resist micromanaging every situation. If you go after your ex every time they do something you think is wrong, youll create more problems, says Sussman.</p>

<p><strong> How to make it happen </strong> : Give yourself a predetermined cool-down period (one hour? one day?) before responding to comments that trigger your anger.</p>

<p>If kids arent in the mix, do not talk to or try to be friends with your ex. Again: do not try to be friends with your ex. I dont believe [former] couples can or should be friends. You need time to adjust to this new situation, and if theyre still in your life, its possible you will get triggered every time you see them, says Sussman. If in one year you want to grab a cup of coffee, fine, but keep it radio silence for the first year, she says.</p>

<p><strong> How to make it happen </strong> : Sussman suggests zero contact at this time. You can be upfront and honest about your need for space. Say "no" to attempts they make to get together, and block them on your phone if they do not honor your request. (This is only if you don't have kids. If you do, refer to #2, re: working out a clear-cut parenting agreement, so contact you have regarding the kids can be as pleasant as possible). </p>

<p>If your ex jumped back into a relationship or is even remarrying, Sussman has one phrase for you: Take the high road. (This actually applies to any dealings with your ex, FYI.) Dont let that be a reason to talk bad about their new partner. Remember if theyre happy, theyll be a better person, which is always a positiveespecially if you two share kids. </p>

<p><strong> <strong> How to make it happen </strong> :  </strong> W hile keeping your opinion to yourself is oftentimes easier said than done, a good therapist or a journal can help you process your feelings and reactions.</p>

<h1>  6. Don't play the comparison game.  </h1>

<p>Speaking of, if they have moved onwhether you initiated the divorce or notyou may be dealing with a mixed bag of emotions, all of which are valid. However, keep in mind that their relationship status is not a reflection of you. You have to try really hard to say, You know what? That has nothing to do with me and where I am in my life, says Sussman.</p>

<p><strong> <strong> How to make it happen </strong> :  </strong> Mute them on social media so you don't feel like their life is being thrown in your face.</p>

<p>As you get into the groove of your new life after divorce, tell your ride-or-dies you know they were there for you and you love and appreciate them for it. Sussman says this can mean taking a couple girlfriends out for dinner, or writing them a cute little card about what their support meant for you.</p>

<p><strong> How to make it happen:  </strong> Come up with a list of the people who stood by your side and start making plans!</p>

<p>Think: Are you taking care of yourself? Eating well? Doing workouts that make you feel badass? I like for people to get all of that in order before dating. When you increase your self-confidence, youll build the best life for yourself, says Sussman. </p>

<p><strong> How to make it happen:  </strong> Sit down and write out a mental and physical checklist to take stock of where you're at. Choose one to tackle and formulate a plan of action. Maybe you skimped on your running routine during your divorce, and you can sign up for a running club now. Or, maybe your stove's starting to collect dust. Start surfing IG to plan three meals you'll make this week.</p>

<p>When youre in a relationship, your likes, dislikes, and hobbies can blend into theirs. After divorce, theres this opportunity to cultivate your own hobbies and interests. People notice that the world seems different or life has changed since they were last single. [Discovering what you love to do] is an opportunity to date yourself before you date someone else, says Sussman. </p>

<p><strong> How to make it happen:  </strong> It's all about what you feel like you have the energy for now. Commit to learning something youve always wanted to try, like rock climbing (!). Or, ease in by checking out a few books from the library and simply snuggling up with one after the kids go to bed.</p>

<p>In many ways, this is your opportunity to start over again, says Sussman. And while that can sound scary, it can also be exciting and liberating. Consider this the new era of youwithout a partner to consider.</p>

<p><strong> How to make it happen:  </strong> Think as big or small as you'd like.  Is it time to take that hiking trip your ex was too busy to go on? How about trying a daring new hairstyle or color that you shied away from during your marriage?</p>

<p>If you decide to start dating, youll want to identify the important things youre looking for in a <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a29076937/dating-after-divorce-tips/" id="fe8efbfe-d3db-3dcb-afd3-4d7ec3ff4c6e">  new relationship </a> . Otherwise, if you go at this blindly, you may be setting yourself up to get hurt or repeat the same relationship mistakes of your past, says Sussman.</p>

<p><strong> How to make it happen:  </strong> Make a list of your top qualities in a mate, as well as the top qualities you want in a relationship. Refer back to this list and measure any new dating prospects against these wants and needs and adjust where needed.</p>

<h1>  12. Follow your own timeline.   </h1>

<p>No reason to rush dating or hold back if youre ready to get out there (despite what your ex-MIL or your new neighbor says). Basically: do you. Dont fall into the trap of comparing yourself to anyone else because we all are in different situations, says Sussman. Its okay if the thought of a new relationship makes your skin crawlyour goal might be to create a family of you and your kids and settle in or make this the year of self-care.</p>

<p><strong> How to make it happen: </strong>  Real talk from Sussman: "Healing takes time." As soon as you feel the comparison game creeping in, give yourself grace (it's a natural reaction!), then remind yourself that you're taking your own path, and that's okay. Life after divorce is "not a sprint," reminds Sussman.</p>

Going through a divorce is not for the faintheartedit can really rock your world. Everyone copes differently, though, and it depends on your unique circumstances. Was it your exs choice to separate and divorce? Yours? Mutual? Infidelity and whether or not you have kids also factors into how fast you'll feel like you can move on, too, says <a href="https://www.sussmancounseling.com/rachel-sussman.htm" id="da50de3c-ff3e-3b07-ad97-4ed29b722f47">  Rachel Sussman, LCSW </a> , a relationship expert...

12 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Life After Divorce

<p>Separation is more than just a state of mindit's a legally defined term. While the law varies by state, in general, people are separated when they no longer live under the same roof, says <a href="https://www.sodomalaw.com/our-people/attorneys/nicole-heiden-sodoma/" id="92e9a616-bc46-359c-a2fd-8681bac447d9">  Nicole Sodoma </a> , a divorce attorney with Sodoma Law.</p>

<p>In North Carolina (where Sodoma practices), for instance, the law is that both spouses must live apart, with at least one person having the intention of no longer being married. You also have to be separated for 365 days before you can file divorce papers. Not every state requires legal documentation showing that youre separated, however, and requirements on how long separation must last before divorce papers are filed also differs depending on where you live.</p>

<p>Once you no longer live in the same house, there are real consequences, Sodoma says. For example: Can you change the locks on the home if your partner moves out? If they come back to the house, do you have to let them inespecially if their name is on the mortgage? Can you date or is that considered adultery? Can you get a new credit card? Again, the answer depends on the state you live in, so let this serve as a reminder to seek third-party help (like an attorney or mediator) before you separate so that you can fully understand the rules and what youre getting yourself into. </p>

<p>In some states, applying for legal separation in family court requires you to work out terms that you might not expect to have to deal with just yet. We're talking custody arrangements, spousal support, finances, etc. (The upside is that this can simplify a divorce down the road, should you get to that point.) </p>

<p>There are different ways to do separation, like having a trial separation or "permanent separation." However, those are not legal terms, so your actions aren't mandated by law, which means you're also not protected by it if your spouse were to do something shady.</p>

<p>The upshot is that you can safeguard yourself by approaching separation with intentionand possibly even save your marriage in the process. I think separating without a plan is foolish, says <a href="https://doctorbecky.com/" id="e8fe40e9-beef-3579-abad-ece324aa065b">  Becky Whetstone, Ph.D </a> ., a licensed marriage and family therapist in Little Rock, Arkansas. Its an extremely stressful time for both individuals, and people in distress do not make wise decisions. The end result is they usually end up making a situation that could have been managed and improved, much worse, she says.</p>

<p>Jumping in without a plan may mean you get divorced too quickly or reconcile without working on the core issues that pushed you apart in the first place. To ensure you've really thought it through before you decide to separate with your partner, here are some frequently asked questions you might want to consider.</p>

<p>Yes. Under the legal definition, you two will occupy different residences. </p>

<h1>  What ground rules should you lay out?  </h1>

<p>Sodoma recommends figuring out how the finances will be managed, including who is paying what bills. Remember that what you decide now could set you up for precedent should you get divorced. (For instance, you say youre going to continue paying the mortgagewell, the idea that you could afford it on your own could factor into your divorce settlement.) Also, work out a custody agreement for children, as well as how youll share pets. Depending on your state, you may be required to work these things out anyway.</p>

<h1>  How often should you keep in contactand how often?  </h1>

<p>This really depends on why youve separated. There are several reasons, including trying to motivate someone to change, for safety reasons, because youre miserable, to get clarity on if they want to be in the relationship, or to initiate divorce, says Whetstone. If its not a heated situation, you may be okay maintaining regular contact. If it is heated, then you need some space so that you can be a better decision maker, says Whetstone. In that instance, avoid contact unless its for a child-related reasons, she advises. Talking to a <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/g29325006/instagram-therapists-for-relationship-advice/" id="54acf90b-b16d-3852-a23a-01d7afa5f417">  marriage therapist </a> can help guide you in making these decisions and help you determine if you can save your marriage (if thats what you want).</p>

<h1>  If getting back together is an option, when should you check in to make a decision?  </h1>

<p>While celebs might make you think that all separations (and divorces) are made with mutual love in mind, the reality is that mostly the decision to part is one-sided, says Whetstone. That means that the other person is probably really suffering, and the initiator should keep that in mind. She says that three to six months of a separation is enough to endure. If one partner is wishy washy on getting back together, I tell them, if at the end of six months, they still dont know, then we will mark that as a no, I dont want to reconcile or work on the marriage, default decision. Its vital that the rejected person be spending the energy they have on mental and emotional health, she says. </p>

<h1>  Were definitely getting divorced. Do we have to wait until the legal separation period is over to start the process of divorce?  </h1>

<p>Nope! One of the biggest mistakes people make is that they wait, says Sodoma. During that period of separation, so much can change financially <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19966286/divorce-lawyer-crazy-stories/" id="480824c6-2613-3a37-aec2-6bc212c4062a">  that the lawyer cannot undo </a> , and it can be more straightforward and often less expensive to resolve those issues in advance, she says. Some examples of things that can go financially wrong during separation: you notice that suddenly theres now a credit line on the retirement account. Or, your joint checking account has $5 in it. How those things happened would need to be traced back in court in order to determine who is responsible, and that process can be costly. So much can surprise you. I always say the people we marry are not the people we divorce, says Sodoma.</p>

Everything You Need To Know About Separating

You and your spouse have decided to consciously uncouple, take loving space, or take your love adventure on different paths. Okay, real talk: youve decided to separate and maybe even later divorce. But despite the fact that celebs like Gwyneth Paltrow, <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/g29612539/katy-perry-orlando-bloom-body-language-analysis/" id="8d6681d0-fad2-33c7-af4b-cd09f123f66a">  Katy Perry </a> , and Jenna Dewan make marriage separation look semi-glamorous, anyon...

Thinking About Separating From Your Spouse? Here's What You Need To Know

<p>While the PDA is, to be fair, more PG than R-ratedno ones ever going to yell at you to get a roomholding hands is still an intimate act. It feels good to hold hands with someone we know because its all about wanting to be close to them," says <a href="https://www.consum-mate.com/bio.php" id="e021839e-d5cf-3eb2-a3dc-c86fdf6af18f">  Toni Coleman, LCSW </a> , a psychotherapist and relationship coach in the Washington D.C area. "We only hold hands with people we have a certain level of comfort with or attraction to."</p>

<p>Holding hands invokes a positive feeling about one another, so you both feel sexy and wanted. Its almost like foreplay.\"</p>

<p>Cue all the feels: Just like <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19910437/your-body-on-massage/" id="91e83d37-f4a3-34e7-a2b3-b774a934934a">  massage </a> , kissing, and hugging, research shows that touch, like holding hands, releases oxytocin, a neurotransmitter that gives you that feel-good buzz, says Coleman. If youre not in the hand-holding habit, you should try to do it more, as a surefire way to boost intimacy. It invokes a positive feeling about one another, so you both feel sexy and wanted. Its almost like <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a28576667/best-foreplay-tips/" id="ee40b9a0-08d9-3dbd-ab2e-2e9602200d67">  foreplay </a> , she says.</p>

<p>As a veteran hand holder, though, you might not realize that there are so many waysColeman counted at least sevento do the not-so-dirty deed. And while hand holding is, in general, a special type of nonverbal communication that sends a message to not just each other, but people on the outside of your relationship, too, that youre really into your connection, each specific type of handlock says something specific about your relationship. </p>

<p>So, yeah, you can say a **whole lot** without words. Peep the seven different ways you and your S.O. might be holding handsand what each style means for your bond:</p>

<h1>  1. Handhold style: Fingers intertwined  </h1>

<p>Your fingers may be intertwined, and you may also be reaching back to touch their arm, too. (Ill call this the <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/g25683432/prince-harry-meghan-markle-body-language/" id="e4529cea-0875-36d6-aedf-6a2a1e04d9c7">  Prince Harry and Meghan Markle </a> .) This means you both crave a deeper connection. Intertwined fingers say, Im into you. I want to get closerand I cant quite get close enough, says Coleman. When youre both willing to grab each others hand like this, it says youre on the same page with wanting to develop or continue a strong connection. Sweet!</p>

<h1>  2. Handhold style: Loose grip  </h1>

<p>You two may be warming up to the whole hand-holding thing. A couple may hold with a soft grip when they dont know each other well and are cautiously trying to start a connection, says Coleman. Theres a sweetness, but its more subtle and cautious, she says. Pay attention to who initiates: Whoever reaches for the hand is expressing that desire for physical connection. And in some cases, your partner is signaling to others around them that, ahem, youre taken.</p>

<h1>  3. Handhold style: On top and bottom  </h1>

<p>Picture this: Your partner is holding your hand with both of theirsone of their hands is on top of yours and the other is on the bottom. Theyre probably also staring into your (starry) eyes as you talk. This is almost a type of embrace. All that skin-to-skin contact maximizes the oxytocin high, says Coleman. This intense handhold signals that your partner is 100 percent paying attention to your every word.</p>

<h1>  4. Handhold style: Firmbut not interlacedgrip   </h1>

<p>This all depends on where you are in your relationship. Usually when you see this, its one person holding onto the other more tightly, says Coleman. The hand-holder may be tightening their grip in a protective way to offer comfort or reassurance if the other is anxious, she says. Another possibility: A tight hold may not signal affectionit can also be something someone uses to assert their dominance. Context matters here.</p>

<h1>  5. Handhold style: Arm draped combo  </h1>

<p>Youre both sitting side by side. Their arm is draped around yours, and youre holding their hand. Get a room, maybe? This says, Im so into you, I want to be as close as possible, and I want the world to know how we feel about each other, too, says Coleman. Gripping each other in this type of loving way is also showing a sign of support for the other person. Say it with me: aw.</p>

<h1>  6. Handhold style: One hand gently resting on top  </h1>

<p>Eek. Are you having the should we breakup? talk? When you put your hand on top of someone elses and let it rest for a minute while you speak, it may mean that youre delivering bad news, says Coleman. </p>

<p>In certain situations, you may be touching the other person briefly on the hand to get them to look at you when theyre upset, she says. That's not to say this type of holding hands means you're doomed, but you may want to pay attention to other body language cues to better feel out your status.</p>

<h1>  7. Handhold style:    Over-the-shoulder walk  </h1>

<p>Not to be confused with the over-the-shoulder sit, when you do this while walking, its basically a PDA cuddle. It says, We are one. Even though were walking down the street, were staying as connected as we can, says Coleman. Hold on, baby!</p>

What Your Hand-Holding Style Says About Your 'Ship

Theres way more to holding hands than you thinkand its usually not that innocent, either. Example A: <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a29990972/justin-timberlake-too-much-to-drink-guilty-alisha-wainwright-jessica-biel/" id="a9619a8b-d541-3fe4-a1d8-bd4a815847b2">  Justin Timberlakes set-the-Internet-on-fire handhold </a> with Alisha Wainwright, his costar on the upcoming film Palmer.

7 Hand-Holding Styles and What ~Yours~ Says About Your Relationship

<p>"Narcissism is a pattern characterized by a lack of empathy, entitlement, grandiosity, superficiality, vanity, arrogance, and controlling behavior," says <a href="http://www.doctor-ramani.com/" id="2a834c21-a3f2-3991-a563-8f5d4e5278e9">  Ramani Durvasula </a> , PhD, clinical psychologist, professor of Psychology at California State University in Los Angeles, and author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dont-You-Know-Who-Entitlement/dp/1682617521" id="d1256c27-4887-3781-ab35-1b533453a3ea">  "Dont You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility </a> .</p>

<p>Whew, that was a long list. But theres more: Narcissists also have difficulty reining in <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a27155088/emotionally-abusive-relationship/" id="96a4f3b2-8338-3c75-aefb-862ee3fc03d9">  strong emotions like anger and rage </a> they let these fly when frustrated or stressed, she says.</p>

<h1>  Okay, that soundsawful. Why are narcissists the way they are?  </h1>

<p>On the surface, a narcissist might come off as someone whos <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a19933675/boost-body-confidence/" id="c5e80f7f-a690-33f6-a4ab-3bb9da57307e">  supremely confident </a> and self-obsessed, but thats not really the reason they are who they are. "At their core is a deep insecurity," says Durvasula. "We think of narcissists as people who are in love with themselves. Thats not the case. Theres a lot of self-loathing there."</p>

<p>The reason they dont really care about others? Its a protective mechanism. She likens it to a cast for a broken bone. "Everything they do is to protect their fragile sense of self," she says.</p>

<h1>  Tell me how to spot a narcissist out in the wild, please.  </h1>

<p>Okay, so where to begin... Lets start with the most obvious: your dating life. </p>

<h1> 1. You feel like you're on an episode of The Bachelor.  </h1>

<p>Imagine being swept away in rom-com worthy bliss. The person youre dating is working hard to earn your affections. "In the beginning, they can be charming. Theyre skilled at courtship and will bring out external things to win you over, like fancy dinners and vacations," says Durvasula. Oh, and while they're doing all this, they're probably wearing super nice clothes and driving a great car. </p>

Its about them. Its always about them. In today's selfie-heavy era, you may think that everyones a narcissist (and, depending on your Insta feed, you might not be totally wrong). The reality is that narcissism goes way deeper than that, and its actually not about self-love at all.

Jessica Migala

Articles written by the author

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