"Ask for a blow-job but refuse to go down on you".
2. Ignore foreplay all together
The idea that foreplay is just something you do when you're lying in a bed at a beach-front condo with rose petals lining the bed is BS. Foreplay should happen every time. How is that hard to understand?
3. Initiate some kinky stuff without asking first
It can be super scary when a guy tries being dominant or aggressive in bed when you haven't expressly said, "Pin my hands behind my head" before he did it. Not asking before doing these potentially super terrifying things is so stupid it hurts.
4. Whine about using a condom
Dude, you're not 13-years-old. You've completed several years of college and you know about the risks for STIs and pregnancy. Get over the fact that it "just feels better without it."
5. Assume you don't want to have sex because you have your period
I'm not sure where guys got this idea that we don't ever want to have sex when we have our period, but when we're fooling around and we say, "Oh by the way, I'm on my period," it's just a heads up. It doesn't necessarily mean, "and get away from me because that's gross." If it's OK with you, odds are it's OK with us.
6. Act like penetration alone is supposed to feel amazing
Have you read literally any article about sex from the last five years? This is not 1981 and we now thankfully know that most women need some form of clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, so please stop expecting us to be impressed with your thrusting alone.
7. Treat cunnilingus like it's just foreplay for penetration
You do know that some people just go down on their girlfriends until they orgasm and that's a full and complete sex act, right? It is.
8. Knead your boobs like dough
I swear guys who do this have never touched boobs before in their life because if you had, surely some woman has said, "Ow, what the hell?" when you did that, right?
9. Assume you finished because he did
Yes, because deep inside your penis is a mechanism that makes it so that when you have an orgasm the whole world has one, right? Zzzz.
11. Forget to keep lube handy
Like, you know, for when you forgot foreplay because you didn't think it mattered, or when you want to have a quickie. It's just a good thing to have.
12. Take it personally when you ask to use sex toys in bed
Why wouldn't you want help with us having an orgasm? If you can't do everything, either grow more arms or let us use our vibrator when we're having sex because it works for us. Simple as that.
13. Come before you do and then claim they're too tired to help you finish
Then. maybe. don't. come. first.
14. Accidentally pull your hair because they're on top of it
I will never understand how guys manage to do this so often. Like, I know stuff happens in bed but also, you can feel when your body is on a bunch of hair, so just move it because it hurts, according to cosmopolitan.