Dealing with difficult in-laws

Make up your mind not to win the war and lose your marriage.

Difficult in-laws can be a thorn in the flesh, but it is possible for you to navigate the murky waters of family interests and win them over. This challenge is not limited to the women alone. Men also face the same challenge of dealing with difficult in-laws, and if not properly handled, it can lead to the breakdown of your marriage.

First of all, you have to establish that you and your in-laws want the same thing-which is the happiness of the person you both love- your husband and their son or your wife and their daughter, but you all are going about it, from different points of view and this can lead to communication breakdown.

The key is for you to bear in mind that your in-laws are not “difficult” people, but just different. Keep the success of your marriage as your major goal while trying to build a cordial relationship with your in-laws. Secondly make up your mind not to win the war and lose your marriage.

Any trait you easily identify in others is also in you. It is called the mirror principle.

Here are some tips that can help you win your in-laws over.

1. Project positivity: The universe works in a way that it produces for you in a hundred fold, the thoughts you consistently project. So, if you are always seeing and thinking of your in-laws as difficult people, you will get a hundred fold back. Rather, project loving and exciting thoughts about your marriage and in-laws irrespective of the heat around.

2. Use the right words: Words slash deeper than we think. Our words are a perfect example of our inner most musings. Once words are released, there is no way to take them back. No matter how offended you are, mind your language-your body language most especially. Communicate politely and lovingly always. It is difficult at first but you get better after each subsequent attempt.

3. Don't tell tales:  Don’t include your in-laws in your tales list or your gist reel. Do not make them topics of your discussion at your friends’ meet.  Show some respect. You’ve got class you know.

4. Let it go immediately: Don’t go around offended. Learn to forgive and let go of every offence. It is for your good. It improves your health. Choose to be happy and don’t bear grudges. Nobody has the right to take way your joy.

5. See the bright side of life: No matter how difficult a person can be, he or she has one good quality. It will improve your reaction towards them, if you focus on their good qualities and traits and not the wrongs they have done to you. Remember, it is about your marriage, you, your health and sanity.

6. Be generous with compliments and gifts.

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