5 ways to know you are a verbally abusive partner

Whether or not your partner has started complaining about the things you say and how it impacts them negatively, you should know that your words have a power over them.

Words are powerful, and even more so when people care about you and your opinion of them. Your partner cares about your opinion and your thoughts, so naturally, the things you say to him or her would carry more weight than what some other random person might say.

All in all, the goal is to be the person whose words elevate and make your partner [and other people] feel better. However, if you notice these things in your relationship, then you should know you may have been verbally abusive and it is time to turn a new leaf.

1. Namecalling is common

If you are always calling your partner names and unflattering titles, it may be time to stop.

It’s even worse if you have continued doing so despite their complaints and calls for you to stop.

No name calling if you intend your relationship to a happy haven. [Credit: Shutterstock] ece-auto-gen

2. Too many jokes at your partner’s expense

Yes, it is cool to have a sense of humour and to be able to take a joke but when that crosses to the level of downright bullying, you should stop.

Never laugh at your partner when they no longer find it funny. The goal is to laugh with each other, not at each other. There is a limit to humour in a relationship and that is it.

ALSO READ: 14 signs of emotional abuse in a relationship

3. You make them feel stupid

Has your partner ever complained about this? Then that is your cue to be more thoughtful with the things you say and the kind of words you use with your partner. If you walk away from an argument or any other conversation with your partner feeling belittled, this is definitely a sign of some sort of emotional abuse.

The negative things you say are powerful enough to give your partner sleepless nights [Credit: Shutterstock] ece-auto-gen

4. You always have to apologise for things you say

What other sign do you need that it’s time to more sensitive if your partner always needs an apology after a discussion or conversation with you?

5. You downplay their thoughts

“This is an act of constantly opposing or devaluing your [partner’s] thoughts, perceptive, or experience,” Sharea Farmer, LCSW, owner of RS Counseling & Wellness Center, tells Bustle, and it’s true.

When your partner constantly feels stupid with you, there is a problem. They should feel educated after learning stuff from you, not stupid. You should always do your best to ensure this.