7 signs you are wasting your time in a relationship

It isn’t fair to you or your partner to be together out of comfort and familiarity.

Black couples arguing (Pinterest)

Love is a beautiful thing. It comes in, washes over you, clouds your judgment and gives you happiness. It can build over time, but it can also degrade if you aren’t careful.

Stoking the fires is half the battle, the other half being far more complicated: accepting that your partner’s feelings are out of your hands. You can’t do much more than be yourself, and finding someone who will love you for the rest of your life isn’t as easy as you might expect.

It isn’t fair to you or your partner to be together out of comfort and familiarity.

Be honest as you run through the list, and pinpoint whether your partner, or even you, meet these characteristics.

  • Your relationship is stale, and it is always up to you to plan dates and activities

Not surprisingly, after reading number one, things get stale really quick. You might know what to expect, and even consider it a comfort zone at first, until things just…grow dull. If you want romance, you have to plan for it yourself, and even when you two do go out, your partner might not be as open during the occasion as you’d like.

  • Social situations are filled with minimal effort on their part

This means that if you both get invited to your friend’s party, your partner will show up, but keep a distance from those important to you—and everyone else. They will probably be quiet, speak when spoken to, but overall, not put in the effort required to get to know anyone, or spark conversation.

  • They keep you away from important people

If they have friends or family members that they consider important, but keep you away from them, that’s a red flag. A loving partner will encourage you to meet these people, and spend time with them. They will rejoice at the thought of you befriending their friends. If this isn’t the case, and you’re kept away, something is wrong.

  • Loss of sexual interest

Sure, you might still be having sex, but is it mundane? Routine? Dwindling? When you suggest things, does your partner take it personally? More so, what do their porn habits look like?

  • There is no motivation to change 

Again, a good couple inspires each other. Maybe the woman is creative and productive, and inspires the laid-back man to get off the couch. Maybe the man is intellectual and wise, and it makes the woman want to pick up a book or two. This is what a good couple does: encourage the other to improve, without demanding it.

You’re both into each other, you accept each other as you are, but you both improve for the other and for yourselves. If this isn’t the case at all, or seems too good to be true, then your partner isn’t motivated to change. You don’t inspire them enough, and it’s not your fault; it’s theirs, for being blind.

  • Plans together never leave the planning stage

You have been talking about buying a house for three years now, but there’s no indication of it happening. You have been talking about taking a vacation to that one spot you both want to make memories in, but when you bring forth more information on it, your partner makes an excuse to stay home.

  • You have no common end goals

You want to live together, get married, and own a dog and a cat. Your partner wants to live in an apartment, with no pets, and doesn’t know about marriage. Two different playing fields. Two people in love will actively go out of their way to make sure they’re on the same page.

JOIN OUR PULSE COMMUNITY!

Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or:

Email: eyewitness@pulse.com.gh