According to relationship experts from YourTango, when your relationships continue to fail, your bound to look back on them and decide what went wrong. And it's the same kind of guys you tend to fall for...over and over again.
YourTango host Melanie Gorman together with divorce coach Dr. Karen Finn, relationship trainer Julie Nise, matchmaker and dating coach Jasbina Ahluwalia and counselor and therapist Dr. Pat Love say that maybe the issue isn't the so-wrong guys that you keep finding. It's you! You have to change yourself in order to stop attracting the same man.
Here are some life-changing ways they say will help you avoid the endless cycle of Mr. Wrongs:
Ask For Feedback: Talk about it with your loved ones to help you reevaluate your past relationships. While you may think it panned out a certain way, they can help you see it in another light. Perhaps you thought a past relationship went very wrong because you believed your ex did something wrong, but your close friend says that it was really all you. You won't know for sure until you ask someone to reflect on your relationship with you. Then, you can figure out what to change for the future. Julie Nise expertly explains, "The thing about patterns is it's all about perspective. We all have our perspectives — what we think, what we believe, what we think we know, and they may or may not be accurate. So I think when it comes to changing patterns and not repeating the things we've done in the past, a really good point is you've got to get your feedback."
Get Your Current Partner's Support: If you're currently in a relationship where your partner is showing tons of red flags, this will work best for you. Discuss exactly what's going wrong with your partner so that you resolve the issue together. If you resolve the issue before the relationship ends, you create a stronger bond with your current partner. Jasbina Ahluwalia suggests that you use this simple tip to actively resolve the issue as it occurs: "When you're actually in a connected state, right, then two of you are connected. That's the time to have code word. Come up with a secret code for the pattern that you both would have had to identify ahead of time ... that way you guys are going to be uniting and fighting the pattern instead of fighting each other when the two of you are engaged in that dynamic." Are you still finding it difficult to escape the same endless cycle of wrong lovers? Watch the video above to hear some more expert advice to change yourself and inevitably change the men you fall in love with.