7 Ways Men Can Focus on Women’s Pleasure During Sex

Despite growing conversations around sexual equality, there is still a significant gap in sexual satisfaction between men and women in heterosexual relationships. This orgasm gap is well documented — research from YouGov shows that only around 30% of straight women always orgasm during sex, compared to 63% of straight men. Other studies indicate that 75% of women do not reach orgasm from penetration alone, meaning most require additional stimulation.

Closing this gap requires men to approach intimacy with greater attentiveness, empathy, and understanding. Below are seven ways men can actively prioritise a woman’s pleasure during sex.

How To Make Her Orgasm

1. Understand the Clitoris and Its Role in Pleasure

One of the most common reasons women struggle to orgasm with men is insufficient clitoral stimulation. The clitoris contains more than 8,000 nerve endings — double the number in the penis — making it the most sensitive erogenous zone on the female body. For the majority of women, direct or indirect clitoral stimulation is essential for reaching orgasm, yet many sexual encounters focus almost entirely on penetration.

Men who want to prioritise their partner’s pleasure should learn the full structure of the clitoris, which extends internally, and explore ways to stimulate it during both foreplay and intercourse. This might involve using hands, mouth, or sex toys in tandem with penetration, or choosing positions that naturally create better contact.

READ ALSO: Clear Reasons You Might Be Having Sex for the Wrong Reasons (And How to Change That)

2. Treat Foreplay as Essential, Not Optional

Foreplay is often wrongly seen as a warm-up rather than a core part of sex. For many women, it is the most pleasurable stage, as it builds anticipation, increases blood flow, and heightens sensitivity. Rushing past this can leave a partner under-stimulated and disconnected.

Taking the time to engage in prolonged kissing, oral sex, and sensual touching not only boosts physical arousal but also strengthens emotional intimacy. Men who treat foreplay as integral to the experience — rather than a stepping stone to penetration — are more likely to create encounters that feel satisfying and connected.

3. Learn and Apply Effective Techniques

Pleasure is not one-size-fits-all, and what works for one woman may not work for another. However, research has highlighted certain methods that are effective for many. These include angling (adjusting pelvic position for better clitoral contact), rocking (keeping constant pressure on the clitoris rather than thrusting away from it), and pairing (simultaneously stimulating the clitoris during penetration).

The key is not to apply these mechanically, but to experiment while paying attention to verbal and non-verbal cues. A responsive lover adapts their technique to match their partner’s enjoyment in real time.

4. Make Her Orgasm a Priority

In many sexual encounters, a man’s orgasm is treated as inevitable, while a woman’s is treated as optional. Over time, this imbalance can lead to frustration and emotional distance. Making her orgasm a shared goal sends a message of respect and attentiveness.

This may mean slowing down when she’s close, maintaining consistent stimulation, or temporarily putting one’s own climax on hold. Even when an orgasm doesn’t happen — which is natural — the focus on her pleasure will make the experience feel mutual and valued.

READ ALSO: Reasons They Always Seem to Lose Interest in You (And How to Break the Cycle)

5. Communicate Openly and Without Awkwardness

Good sex thrives on communication, but many couples avoid talking openly about their needs. Some men fear that asking “Does this feel good?” or “Would you like me to keep going?” will interrupt the mood, yet such questions often deepen connection.

Encouraging a partner to express her preferences, whether during or outside of the bedroom, helps remove guesswork and builds trust. This communication also normalises feedback, making it easier to fine-tune pleasure over time.

READ ALSO: Did you know regular sex makes you good at math?

6. Avoid Rushing the Experience

Women’s arousal often takes longer to build than men’s, and rushing through sex can make her pleasure feel secondary. Taking time allows for a gradual build-up that is both physically and emotionally rewarding.

Slowing the pace — by lingering in certain positions, exploring her body more fully, and using eye contact or verbal appreciation — keeps the focus on shared enjoyment rather than speed. The goal is not just to finish, but to savour the process.

READ ALSO: Shatta Wale says he lost a $2 million deal after FBI-backed Lamborghini seizure

7. Follow Through with Aftercare

Aftercare is more than a romantic add-on — it’s a vital part of maintaining intimacy. Whether it’s cuddling, sharing a laugh, or offering a reassuring touch, these gestures help partners feel emotionally secure and valued after sex.

For many women, feeling cared for afterwards influences how much they look forward to future encounters. Neglecting aftercare, on the other hand, can make the experience feel transactional and emotionally empty.

ALSO READ: Small Bedroom Habits That Can Kill Intimacy Over Time

Bridging the orgasm gap requires more than just sexual skill; it demands genuine attentiveness and a willingness to centre a partner’s experience as much as one’s own.

By understanding the clitoris, investing in foreplay, applying effective techniques, making her orgasm a priority, communicating openly, slowing down, and providing aftercare, men can create encounters that are both physically satisfying and emotionally enriching. In doing so, they not only improve her pleasure but also deepen the intimacy that makes sex meaningful.