Is oral sex safe? Here are 5 reasons you should avoid it

When it comes to intimacy, what happens behind closed doors is, of course, utterly personal. And for many, oral sex is a common and thoroughly enjoyable part of their intimate lives. However, like any sexual activity, it’s not without its nuances, and there are perfectly valid reasons why individuals or couples might choose to avoid it, or at least approach it with a good dose of caution.

This isn't about judgment or telling anyone what to do; it's about making informed choices. Our bodies are wonderfully complex, and understanding the potential downsides – whether health-related, emotional, or purely down to personal preference – means you can make decisions that truly honour your well-being and your relationship.

So, let’s have a frank chat about why some people choose to press pause on oral sex.

1. The Unseen Risks: Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)

Let's get this out of the way first, as it's the most significant health concern. There's a persistent myth that oral sex is "safe sex" because it doesn't involve penetrative intercourse. Unfortunately, that's simply not true. Many STIs can be transmitted through oral contact with genitals or the anus, especially if there are any tiny cuts, sores, or even just abrasions in the mouth or on the partner's genitals.

We're talking about the usual suspects here: Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, Herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2), and Human Papillomavirus (HPV) are all known to transmit via oral sex. Gonorrhoea and Chlamydia, for instance, can set up shop in your throat without any obvious symptoms, making them tricky to detect and potentially spread further. While the risk of HIV transmission through oral sex is much lower than through unprotected vaginal or anal sex, it's not zero, particularly if there are open sores in the mouth or bleeding gums involved. And let's not forget HPV, which, in some cases, can lead to oral or throat cancers. Factors like having sores or bleeding gums can increase the risk, so brushing your teeth right before oral sex might actually make you more vulnerable!

ALSO READ: Oral sex becomes the leading cause of throat cancer

2. Other Unwelcome Guests: Broader Infections and Illnesses

Beyond the typical STIs, other less-talked-about infections can also make an appearance, particularly with oral-anal contact (what some call "rimming").

• Tummy Troubles: Bacteria like E. coli and Shigella, or even parasites like Giardia, can be transmitted from faecal matter, leading to some truly unpleasant gastrointestinal illnesses. Nobody wants a case of serious food poisoning after intimacy! Hepatitis A is also a risk in this scenario.

• Other Viral Concerns: With recent global health alerts, it's worth noting that viruses like Mpox (formerly monkeypox) can be spread through close skin-to-skin contact and bodily fluids, which certainly includes intimate acts like oral sex.

3. Personal Discomfort or Simply Not Enjoying It

This is a perfectly valid and often overlooked reason. Not everyone enjoys giving or receiving oral sex, and that's absolutely fine. Intimacy should always be a source of pleasure and connection, not discomfort or dread.

• Sensory Preferences: Some individuals may find certain sensations, tastes, or even smells associated with oral sex genuinely unpleasant or simply not to their liking.

• Anxiety or Pressure: If you feel any form of performance anxiety, or a subtle pressure (real or perceived) to engage in oral sex, it can completely diminish any potential pleasure and lead to negative associations with intimacy.

• Hygiene Concerns: Some people have very specific personal hygiene preferences or concerns that make them uncomfortable with oral sex, and these feelings should always be respected.

READ ALSO: Top 10 countries that accept international students easily

4. Relationship Dynamics and Enthusiastic Consent

Like any sexual activity, oral sex must be fully consensual and truly enjoyable for all parties involved. If one partner isn't genuinely enthusiastic – if they feel pressured, obligated, or coerced in any way – it completely erodes trust and the foundation of healthy intimacy.

• No Enthusiastic Consent: Consent is about more than just saying "yes." It's about an enthusiastic, freely given "yes." If there's any hint of hesitation, reluctance, or obligation, it's not truly consensual.

• Unmet Expectations: If partners have vastly different expectations or comfort levels around oral sex, and these aren't openly communicated, it can lead to resentment, disappointment, or a feeling of dissatisfaction in the relationship.

READ ALSO: 6 reasons people become more attractive after heartbreak

5. Oral Health Concerns

The state of your mouth can actually play a role in the risks associated with oral sex.

Poor Oral Health: Conditions like gum disease, tooth decay, or any active infections in the mouth can increase the risk of transmitting or acquiring other infections during oral sex.

Active Cold Sores: This is a big one. If either partner has an active cold sore (caused by the Herpes Simplex Virus type 1, HSV-1), they can very easily transmit the herpes virus to the partner's genitals, leading to genital herpes. It's best to avoid oral sex until any cold sores are fully healed.

ALSO READ: Stop using unearned 'Dr' titles - GTEC directs 2 MPs

How to Reduce Risks if You Choose to Engage in Oral Sex:

If oral sex is part of your intimate life, or something you're considering, you can significantly reduce the risks by being proactive:

• Use Barrier Methods: Condoms for penises and dental dams (or a cut-open condom/latex barrier) for vaginas and anuses create a physical barrier against bodily fluids and skin-to-skin contact, dramatically lowering STI risk.

• Regular STI Testing: Both partners should get tested regularly, especially when beginning a new relationship or if you have multiple partners. Be open about your sexual health history.

• Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: Talk openly and honestly about your sexual health history, comfort levels, and boundaries with your partner *before* engaging in any activity.

• Avoid if Sores/Cuts are Present: Do not engage in oral sex if either partner has any visible sores, cuts, ulcers, rashes, or warts in or around the mouth, genitals, or anus. Also, avoid brushing or flossing right before, as it can create tiny, invisible cuts in your gums.

• Vaccinations: Discuss vaccinations with your doctor. The HPV vaccine can protect against certain types of HPV that cause genital warts and cancers (including oral/throat cancers). Hepatitis A and B vaccines are also available and recommended for sexually active individuals.

READ ALSO: 7 signs your body’s telling you to rethink your sex life

Ultimately, the decision to engage in oral sex, like any sexual activity, is a personal one. It should always be made with full awareness of the potential risks, open and honest communication with your partner, and, most importantly, mutual respect for everyone's boundaries and comfort levels. Your well-being, both physical and emotional, should always come first.