Here's why we feel the urge to shop when we're sad

Hands up if you've ever had a rubbish day, felt a bit down in the dumps, and found yourself inexplicably browsing online shops or wandering through the high street? You might start with "just a quick look," and before you know it, a new gadget, a snazzy outfit, or a whole basket of things you didn't even know you needed are on their way to your door.

This isn't just a coincidence. There's a genuine, often subconscious, reason why many of us feel that almost irresistible urge to shop when we're feeling a bit sad, stressed, or lonely. It's what's often dubbed "retail therapy," and while it might offer a fleeting moment of cheer, it's worth understanding why our brains push us towards the checkout when our mood takes a dip.

What Is Retail Therapy?

Retail therapy is that common urge to go shopping simply to lift your spirits or feel better when you're a bit down in the dumps, rather than buying something you genuinely need. It's thought to work by giving your brain a quick hit of dopamine, a chemical linked to pleasure and reward, which temporarily improves your mood.

This act of choosing and acquiring something new can also give you a fleeting sense of control or a welcome distraction from whatever's bothering you. However, while it might offer a short-term pick-me-up, it's not a real solution to sadness or stress and can often lead to financial woes or regret once that initial buzz fades.

Let's unpack why this happens and what your brain might be up to when you're feeling blue.

1. The Dopamine Hit: A Quick Fix for a Down Mood

Our brains are hardwired for pleasure, and shopping, believe it or not, can deliver a tiny, but potent, dose of it. When you click "add to basket" or hand over your card, your brain often releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with reward and pleasure. It’s the same chemical that makes you feel good when you eat a tasty meal or scroll through social media.

When you're sad, your brain is actively looking for ways to feel better. Shopping provides an immediate, accessible way to trigger that dopamine rush, giving you a temporary lift. It’s a bit like giving your brain a sweet treat when it's craving something to feel good about.

ALSO READ: Is your body rejecting them? Signs you shouldn't ignore

2. The Illusion of Control: Taking Charge When Life Feels Messy

Sadness, stress, or feeling overwhelmed often come hand-in-hand with a sense of lacking control in other areas of our lives. Maybe work is chaotic, a relationship is rocky, or you just feel generally adrift. In these moments, shopping offers an immediate, tangible way to regain a sense of agency.

You choose what to buy, when to buy it, and how to pay for it. This act of making decisions and acquiring something new can give you a momentary feeling of power and control, even if it's just over a new pair of shoes. It's a small victory when other parts of your life feel out of your hands.

ALSO READ: Stop these skincare habits that are making you look older than you are

3. Distraction and Escapism: A Break from Negative Thoughts

When you're sad, your mind can get stuck in a loop of negative thoughts or worries. Shopping online or in a physical shop, provides a powerful distraction. You focus on browsing, comparing prices, reading reviews, and imagining yourself with the new item.

This cognitive distraction pulls your attention away from the painful emotions or difficult situations you're trying to avoid. It's a form of escapism, giving your mind a temporary holiday from whatever's bothering you. The problem is, once the shopping spree is over, those feelings are usually still waiting for you.

READ ALSO: Common mistakes you must avoid with your salary this month

4. Self-Gifting and Instant Gratification: A Treat When You Need It

When you're feeling low, you might instinctively want to "treat" yourself or seek comfort. Buying something new can feel like a well-deserved reward or an act of self-care. It's a way of saying, "I deserve this," or "This will make me feel better."

This desire for instant gratification is strong when sadness hits. Unlike long-term solutions (like therapy or working through a problem), shopping offers a quick, almost immediate sense of satisfaction. The package arriving or the new item in your hand provides that instant boost.

READ ALSO: Important things every man should not forget to spend money on

5. The "Newness" Factor: Excitement and Novelty

Humans are often drawn to novelty. A new item brings with it a sense of excitement, possibility, and a break from the mundane. When you're sad, life can feel a bit flat and predictable. Introducing something new can inject a burst of fresh energy and excitement.

The anticipation of a purchase, the thrill of unwrapping something new, and the initial pleasure of using it can all contribute to a temporary uplift in mood. This fleeting joy can be particularly appealing when everyday life feels a bit dull or overwhelming.

DISCOVER: Ghanaian foods that are good for your heart

The Downside: Why "Retail Therapy" Isn't a Long-Term Cure

While these urges are understandable, relying on shopping to manage sadness can lead to bigger problems:

• Financial Strain: Impulse buying when upset can quickly lead to debt and financial stress, which only adds to your existing worries.

• Guilt and Regret: The initial high often fades, replaced by guilt, buyer's remorse, and the realisation that the core sadness hasn't gone away.

• No Real Solution: Shopping addresses the symptom (sadness) rather than the root cause. It's a temporary plaster, not a cure.

• Compulsive Behaviour: For some, it can develop into a more serious issue like compulsive shopping, which can severely impact their lives.

If you find yourself reaching for your credit card when you're feeling down, try to pause and explore healthier coping mechanisms:

Acknowledge and Sit with the Sadness: It's okay to feel sad. Instead of trying to distract yourself, try to understand why you're feeling that way. Journaling can be incredibly helpful.

Connect with Others: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or partner. Sharing your feelings can be incredibly therapeutic.

Engage in Mindful Activities: Go for a walk in nature, listen to some music, read a good book, or try a meditation app.

Move Your Body: Exercise, even gentle movement, releases endorphins that naturally boost your mood.

Practice Self-Care (Non-Shopping Edition): Take a warm bath, cook a comforting meal, watch a favourite film, or do a hobby you enjoy.

Seek Professional Help: If sadness is persistent or overwhelming, talking to a counsellor or therapist can provide long-term strategies for managing your emotions.

ALSO READ: Modern ways to incorporate African prints into your everyday wardrobe

The urge to shop when we're sad is a very human response, driven by our brains seeking comfort, distraction, and a sense of control. It's a quick, easy way to get a dopamine hit. However, recognising these urges is the first step towards choosing healthier, more sustainable ways to cope with difficult emotions. Next time you feel that urge to splurge when you're down, pause, reflect, and ask yourself what you really need. Your well-being (and your bank balance!) will thank you for it.