We have a hunch this strange fashion trend won’t last
Did you know men are wearing neck chokers now? We didn’t until we spotted two guys sporting them this week: One was some dude in a Chicago bar, and the other was Matt Lauer, who is considerably more famous. Lauer appeared on TODAY wearing a choker underneath his perfectly functioning collar, proclaiming that chokers are officially a thing, and that he had been rocking one for years.
Lauer was joking about the second part—we think—but in regards to the first, it does appear that chokers are trending, at least in some circles. ASOS, the company behind the chokers, offers them in a variety of styles: red bandana, vintage leather (with buckle), pink velvet, and more. Last summer, male models wore chokers at a Louis Vuitton fashion show in Paris, and in Florence, Raf Simmons included “elegant-yet-fetishistic collars” in his men’s collection, according to The New York Post.
Though men’s chokers may be buzzing, they’re still a bad idea. Here’s why:
1. They’re sad. Just like flushable dude wipes and camouflage-scented Yankee Candles, designated “men’s” chokers are nothing but another marketing lesson on the fragility of masculinity. Just call them chokers.
2: They’re ruining your gains. As advertised for women, the choker accentuates and slims the neckline the same way a pencil skirt shows off the abdomen. But your traps are way too big for this chintzy satin strip, so you’ll need to go catabolic to fit in one of these muscular straitjackets.
3: Your hero is trolling you. Matt Lauer is one of the best dressed guys on TV, according to Vanity Fair. What’s better than starting a national trend? Faking it, and watching the world burn from the comfort of your dressing room, where your stylist would never let you wear such a thing in public.
4: You’re better than this. Remember when your parents asked you, “If your friends all jumped off a cliff, would you jump with them?” Be original and invent your own style: Guy Fieri brought back frosted tips just so Guy Fieri could rock them, and he’s a millionaire. Check and mate, men’s choker.