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Dear Pulse,
When he offered to rent a place for me, I didn’t think twice. He wasn’t my boyfriend — just someone older I’d been seeing for a while because I needed financial support. A proper sugar daddy, a spender, my own Odogwu. He said I deserved better than living in a cramped hostel and promised to sort everything out.
True to his word, he paid the rent for the year and even furnished the apartment himself. Sofa, fridge, curtains — all taken care of. I didn’t lift a finger. He said he wanted me to have peace of mind, to focus on school and enjoy some comfort. I appreciated it. I really did.
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For the first few months, everything was smooth. He’d pass by now and then, bring me food or money, and leave. Nothing overbearing. But recently, things have shifted.
He’s started showing up without notice, sometimes late at night. The part that’s left me completely thrown, though, is what he said the other day — casually, like it was no big deal. He said that since he pays for the place and all that’s in it, he should be able to bring other girls over if he wants. Just like that.
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I thought he was joking, but he was dead serious. He even said I shouldn’t act like the place is mine, because technically, it isn’t.
Now I don’t know what to do. I’m not in a position to pay rent myself right now, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m sharing my home with strangers. Am I overreacting? What should I do?
-Chantel,
Hello Chantel,
Thank you for opening up, Chantel. It’s not easy to share something this personal. You’re not overreacting — your home should feel safe, no matter who paid for it. Yes, he covered the rent and furnishing, but that doesn’t give him the right to bring other women into your space without your say.
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Unfortunately, in sugar daddy setups like this, control can become an issue. If moving out isn’t an option now, start planning for independence quietly for the sake of your peace of mind.
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And remember: setting boundaries isn’t being ungrateful — it’s protecting your peace.
-Pulse.