What emotional intelligence means and why you can't last in a relationship without it

Emotionally intelligent individuals are more likely to process their feelings and the feelings of their partners in a manner that healthy relationships require.

The physical appearance is the only point of attraction. One thing that carries a relationship far is the level of emotional maturity present in both partners. [Credit: Getty Images]

Everyone in a relationship or marriage is expected to understand that the entire affair is a huge emotional playground and to not crash, what is required is emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your own emotions and that of others; to process them wisely and find a balance between acting on your emotions, but with a consideration of how it would make others feel.

Emotional intelligence is also often associated with the act of empathizing with someone, recognizing problems, and being able to connect on a deeper level.


So most times, when people say they want ‘mature’ partners, what they really mean is that they want people who have developed a firm grasp on their own emotions to the point that they can always consider how other people feel before doing or saying anything.

The maturity people seek in relationships, after all, is usually sought in the context of being treated fairly, having their feelings respected and being with someone who is level-headed even when their emotions are bubbling madly underneath.

All this is exactly what emotional intelligence is about.

Emotional intelligence in relationships


Let’s quickly chip it in here that emotional intelligence is not just applicable in romantic relationships and marriages. It is useful for all forms of relationships – from professional to parental and even social.

Within a romantic and marital context, too, emotional intelligence is so, so important because the continued existence of the relationship and the happiness of the partners in it rely so much on emotions and how they are handled.

Knowing what to say, when to say it and how to say it could be the difference between staying married and heading for a divorce.

Recognizing when to act and the extent of one’s action can also have bigger, far-reaching consequences than you’d expect.


Many conflicts in relationships are hinged on emotional quotient [EQ] and only emotionally intelligent individuals are more likely to process their feelings and the feelings of their partners in a healthy manner.

Athena Staik, Ph.D., a popular American marriage therapist in North Virginia adds that the mastery of emotional intelligence permits couples to remain present and loyal to their partners.

Present in the sense that you are ever watchful, careful, and sensitive to your partner’s emotional needs before expressing your own emotions, because in the end, the purpose is defeated if you are not considerate in your emotional expressions. If all your partner ever gets from your emotional expressions are negative feelings, you are not doing well at it.

In conclusion, emotional intelligence or lack of it is not a fixed thing. It can increase and it can also wane.


Whatever you do, though, ensure to always be the partner who never loses sight of the feelings and emotions of their significant other. That way, you can create an atmosphere where you both grow


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