How to avoid being in a situationship

A situationship is a relationship that looks and feels like one but it’s not one. It can also be defined as a relationship which has no label.

It is also a situation where a guy and lady who are supposedly friends begin to act and do things lovers do e.g having sex, sleeping over at each other’s place, cooking together, talking several times in a day, yet the ‘relationship’ isn’t defined or the guy hasn’t asked the girl out.

It is a confusing situation to be in hence the term ‘situationship’ as many ladies have fallen victim thinking they were in love not knowing their emotions were been toiled with.

Not sure how to avoid being in a situationship? These tips would guide you below:

• Make what you want very clear

A lot of people do not know how important this tip is. Yes, we know you don’t want to scare the guy away but somewhere in one of your long late-night conversations, find a way to discuss relationships.

And somewhere in that conversation, let them know what you want. Let them know that you are not looking for a fling or casual dates. You want a serious, stable relationship.

• Never go into a relationship out of fear

It’s a big world out there, and in the midst of it all, some people fear being alone. If a person hasn’t yet discovered the essence of alone time, then fear can set in, and cause them to long for company…sometimes any kind of company just to ease the fear of being alone or having to face the world alone. Try finding joy in being alone.

Never enter a relationship out of convenience

Being unaware of self-worth can cause a person to revert back to what is familiar or accept anyone who is available and shows interest. Step back and think of the long term effects of entering relationships without authentic intention.

• Do not seek relationships to fill emotional voids

None of us is perfect emotionally. We all have our own issues to sort out and our own challenges to take on.

We must accept our emotional flaws and the challenge to work on them. However, some people would rather cover them up and ignore them with relationships that will provide an emotional high that is usually very temporary.

• Find out what he is looking for

We are not saying you should assume or guess. Ask him what he is looking for and if his answers don’t align with yours, then step away.

Picture this- You ask the guy what he’s looking for. He gives you an answer that doesn’t meet your needs but you convince yourself that it's just for now. That he will soon realize that you are so amazing and he will change his mind….

Sound familiar? Yes, that is what a lot of women do and it is so wrong!

• Do not settle

You know what you want out of a relationship. Now you know what he also wants. Do not at any point lower your standards just because you want to be with him.

Stick to what you want. Remember your goal is to have a Serious relationship. If he’s not giving you that, Do not get involved in anything else. Apart from friendship of course.

• Do not always look for huge benefits from a relationship

“What can you do for me”? “What do you bring to the table”? These phrases are often demonstrated today with societal norms, but many don’t realize how such a mentality can breed conditional love and put limits on love.

Two people should add value to one another, but keep in mind that your wholeness is not dependent upon another person. Strictly seeking benefits is sponsorship, not a relationship.