There are certain behaviors we can all practice in order to eliminate the green monster from our lives.
Below are nine habits of people who are secure with themselves, as well as simple solutions to squash envy when it starts to creep in.
They surround themselves with trustworthy people
Most often we are influenced by our environs, and our environment also includes the people we surround ourselves with. The idea is that good emotions rub off just like bad emotions.
They have a high sense of self-worth.
The hallmark trait of being secure with yourself is loving who you are, Bea says. If you're comfortable with yourself and have high self-esteem, you don't feel envious of another person's circumstances or relationships.
They celebrate others' successes.
Whether your co-worker got a promotion or your best friend got engaged, it's important to remember that their story isn't your story. "One person's success doesn't mean you're failing,"
People who are secure with who they are let go of that resentment and focus on joy, Bea says. "They want everybody to be happy and successful," he adds. "It's all about wanting your life instead of somebody else's."
They take stock of their blessings.
If you have a grateful attitude, you're going to be less focused on what others have and less likely to be unhappy because of envy. Gratitude journals are a useful way to add more thankfulness to your life. We recommend writing down the positives of each day and how they happened; chances are, you'll see they're a result of your behavior or actions from that day.
Rather than being envious of other people's success, focus on your own.
They know when to unplug.
It's no secret that social media is basically just a highlight reel. We post our best photos, check in at the trendiest places and update our profiles with only the life-altering news -- and studies suggest those updates can take a toll on observers. Researchers theorize that heavy social media use can evoke negative emotions like loneliness and, yes, envy. Taking time away from the screen may just be one of the best things you can do for your own confidence.
They don't seek approval from other people.
We procure a sense of self-satisfaction when someone else is envious of our life. However, this behavior is laced with insecurity -- and that instant gratification won't last very long.
To be seeking the envy of another is to be trapped in the same cycle that fuels any addiction: reaching for something outside yourself for something that ultimately needs to come from within. People who manage their jealousy tend to realize this, and as a result only answer to themselves.
They don't focus on labels.
This goes for your own categorizations and the labels of others. I think sometimes ambition is driven by insecurity. Being modest or underplaying those attributes can sometimes be a sign [that you're comfortable with yourself].
In other words? You're more than your title or the awards on your shelf.
They don't compare themselves to others.
As Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." If you're constantly stacking up your life against someone else's, chances are you'll find something to nitpick. Instead, just plainly fixate on the positives -- in your life and in the lives of others.
There's always going to be something better than what you have. Envy is really perceptual. Nothing that you have is going to feel good if you're constantly thinking there's something else that's better. Don't focus on comparisons.