‘I started using the pill after sex because I don’t trust men’ - Single woman

Sheba tells us how she tries not to get pregnant despite being sexually active and having multiple partners.

How women can prevent unwanted pregnancy [Blackgirltherapy]

Today is World Contraceptive Day. So, we spoke to Sheba, who shared her experience with choosing the right contraceptive.

"When I started having sex, one surprising thing was how men did not like using condoms, even with the fear of HIV. One guy once told me, “Does it look like I have HIV?” It reminded me of that song I heard when I was growing up: "HIV no dey show for face.” There’s a lot of stigma associated with being HIV-positive, and one of them is that people look sickly, but an HIV-positive person can look fat and robust. Another excuse I heard from men who did want to use condoms was "I’ve been tested before" or that sex is better raw. I try not to fall for those things, but I have fallen once or twice."


"But even when men use condoms, I still take the pill—call it two-factor authentication—in case the condom bursts or something. The responsibility of pregnancy and childcare will fall on me not him and if he doesn't like me enough for a relationship, having his child will be a mistake. I knew that I didn’t want to get pregnant out of wedlock and that I didn’t want to have to have an abortion, so I knew I couldn’t be reckless with sex. The problem was finding the right contraceptive. I didn’t want an IUD. I heard stories about how painful it is to insert, how it hurts even after insertion, and how it causes crazy mood swings. I didn’t want to take the birth control pill every day; it leads to water weight, and I didn’t want to look bloated. I soon realized that every contraceptive method has its disadvantages and advantages. The only safe way not to get pregnant is not to have sex."

"I usually use the morning-after pill after sex because it’s quite effective, though it ruins my menstrual circle. When I use it, my period is a week late or even more and that makes me worried that I have gotten pregnant."

"Another thing that happens when I use the pill is that there is a lot of blood, and my flow is usually so heavy that I have to change my pad three times a day. There are times when I have a period twice a month."

"For me, the positives of using the morning pill are that it reduces menstrual cramps and doesn’t mess with my hormones or body by making me gain weight."


"I have heard about women who used the pill and still got pregnant, so I am still scared whenever I have unprotected sex and use the morning-after pill. Contraceptives are not entirely foolproof; I just take the gamble and hope it pays off, though it won't protect me from sexually transmitted infections."


Unblock notifications in browser settings.

Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or: