How to cure Matrimonial Indigestion (Pulse Contributor’s Opinion)

As with all vows, the decision to live in holy matrimony is one that comes with a full resolve to see the vow to completion.

How to cure Matrimonial Indigestion

But after many years down the aisle, the weight of problems reaches its peak and divorce seems to rear its ugly head. There are arguments upon arguments and a couple seems to find no way out to issues. This is more often due to an underlying problem, what I call, matrimonial indigestion.

Indigestion refers to pain or discomfort in the stomach associated with difficulty in digesting food. Likewise, matrimonial indigestion here occurs when a couple experience problems in the marriage because they haven't fully understood the purpose of the marriage and what works for them. Matrimonial indigestion can sap the life out of a marriage. What starts as trivial disagreements and tantrums metamorphoses into huge fights. Over time, the marriage crumbles and one party feels they married the wrong partner.

What can be done when a couple struggles to come to terms with each other? How do you cure matrimonial indigestion?

1. First, focus on the positives - While quarrels are inevitable in a marriage, looking at your spouse's good traits can help you to find balance in your marriage. Whenever you are confronted with an issue, remind yourself of the good deeds he or she may have done for you in the past and let it bring you closer to each other.

2. Secondly, talk issues out - There is nothing like having a good conversation with your partner. When things don't go well, find some quality time to engage your spouse in a conversation and pour your heart out to him/her. A loving spouse would hear your concerns and work towards them.

3. Again, pray - It may sound like a clichè because you've heard this over and over again. Pray for your partner. Tell God to help him/her to do away with certain character traits that are not consistent with His nature. Prayer works.

4. Also, take life one day at a time. Problems today do not necessarily mean problems tomorrow. Remember, weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. No one marries his/her enemy. The fact that your partner and you engage in a fist fight does not mean it will be like that all the time. There will be good days. There will be bad days. There is calm after the storm. Hold on.

5. Most importantly, understand the purpose of the marriage. Aside procreation and companionship, God brought man and woman together to achieve a purpose as husband and wife. Because two are better than one, God can use both your spouse and you for His kingdom. He can use you to fulfill His purpose for the earth and, in turn, both of you will get a good reward for your labour.

6. Moreover, you need to forgive - Like prayer, forgiveness is one of the very difficult things to do when you're having problems with your partner, especially when you are not at fault. But forgiveness is the key to a happy marriage. In fact, if you are not ready to forgive, you are not ready for marriage. Your spouse will offend you over and over and over again. He or she will surprise you in many ways with their behaviour, because they are imperfect beings still discovering themselves. Accept their imperfections. Forgive them. It will do more for you than for them, because you will have inner peace.

7. Additionally, focus on your dreams, goals and aspirations. Majority of the problems in marriage arise from not having some goal or dream to work towards. This leaves a couple empty and always looking to each other to fill that void. This should not be the case. That vacuum should be filled by your goals, dreams and aspirations, because it puts you in a mental state of feeling worthy. Your goals will keep you grounded and sane. They will give you a sense of fulfilment that your spouse cannot give you. It will give you a warm feeling of contributing positively to society.

8. Besides, don't sweat the small stuff - No two marriages are the same. Know what works for both of you. If your spouse is good at doing the laundry and you are good at cleaning, so be it. Understand your individual roles and play them well. Avoid comparisons. For comparison is the thief of joy.

And after having done all this, you know you are on your way to having a blissful marriage!

Contributor : Brenda Lutterodt

Pulse Contributors is an initiative to highlight diverse journalistic voices. Pulse Contributors do not represent the company Pulse and contribute on their own behalf

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