Michael Keaton wants everyone to know he's still batman, and we support him

If Warner Bros. gave me permission to take a photo in just the cowl and mask, I'd project the image on to my tombstone.

So imagine being Michael Keaton, 66-year-old Oscar nominee, who became the Dark Knight for a generation over two Tim Burton movies and roughly a dozen punches to Jack Nicholson's face.

Jump forward to 2018, when Keaton delivered the commencement speech at his alma mater, Kent State University. Never mind the fact that the actor wore aviators on a cloudy day throughout the entirety of his 18-minute speech. I assume the guy just travels places by fighter jet. That's not important. What is important is the absolutely pitch-perfect way Michael Keaton chose to send these bright-eyed and hopeful 20-somethings off into the world of office cubicles and student debt.

"I've got one more thing to say, and it'll only take me two seconds," Keaton said. "I've got two words that I want you all to remember. They're very important, and if I leave you with anything, I'm going to leave you with these two words.

"And those two words are: I'm Batman."

The absolute icon. Listen to that reaction. The only thing I remember about my commencement speaker is that I'm pretty sure he died of a heat stroke halfway through but powered on to the end anyway. Comparatively, Michael Keaton saying "I'm Batman" and practically moon-walking off the stage just guaranteed at least six of those kids in the audience will become president.

And really, you could pick a worse role model for a college graduation than Batman. That dude watched his parents get murdered in an alleyway and decided to do CrossFit in his basement so he could karate-chop muggers into comas. That is the perfect metaphor for the college experience. No it is. Think about it.

Keaton did, of course, offer up more concrete advice during his address.

"There's nothing I love more than people who try. You have to take risks.I'm gonna' ask you to take risks whenever you can," he said. "Put yourself on the line. Don't be afraid to look foolish. Make mistakes. Take chances...what that'll lead to is self-discovery. It'll lead you back to your natural, authentic self."

And if your natural, authentic self just happens to be a billionaire that dresses up like a bat to roundhouse kick bad guys? Then you make sure people know.


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