This Is How You Should Be Sexting

Sexting is a delicate balancing act, one that requires the sexter to navigate the grey area between sexy and weird. A million questions run through your mind: should you call your penis your "dick," or is that too porn-y? Is role play on the table, or nah? What if you're being catfished? And this fear is understandable: the last thing you want to get in response to an earnest attempt at a dirty text is an "LOL, WTF?"

This Is How You Should Be Sexting

That said, if you adhere to proper sexting etiquette (no weird props or dim lighting, please!), sexting can pay off big time. According to a study published in the journal Computers In Intimate Behavior , half of those with committed partners reported that sexting had a positive outcome on their "sexual and emotional relationships."

First and foremost, sexting should always be a two-way street, because unsolicited dick pics are never sexyand could be considered sexual harassment. (In fact, Texas has actually banned sending unsolicited dick pics; if youre in Houston and you send a pic of your junk to someone who hasnt asked for it and doesnt want to see it, you can be hit with a $500 fine, according to .)

So before you get your wang ready for its closeup, ask your partner if they're comfortable with it. Keep the conversation light by asking, "Do you want to exchange photos?" or, "Have you ever sexted? Is that something you're down to try?" If they are, be mindful of what they are and aren't cool with. No pics, all texts? Great. Call yourself Sext-speare and get to writing.

Once you and your partner have decided it's game on, you might be at a loss for what exactly to say to come across as cool and sexy, as opposed to creepy and awkward. Call it writer's (cock) block. Just remember things your partner likes to do in bed. What are their turn-ons? What's something they did in bed that turns you on just thinking about it?

If you don't know what they want or where to start, ask: communication is key. You can keep the tone silly and playful and fun. Humor can help diminish awkwardness, especially at first.

Alright, with said, lets get down to how to sext.

Lets say you and your partner decide you want to start sexting. You cant go balls to the wall and sending her a close-up of your hard-on (or a picture of your balls on a wall, for that matter). Not only is that far too aggressive, you also need room to build. Sending a dick pic first is like starting a performance with the big finalewhen you start with the finish, theres nowhere else to go. Kick things off by sexting cutesy phrases like Couldnt stop thinking about you last night ;) or I cant wait until we get naked together again... This will also give you partner a heads up, so they can think to themselves: Okay, were actually doing this right now. Let me change gears.

After a few exchanges, you can move into what it is you'd like to do with your partner. Do you want to eat them out until sunrise? Let them know. Do you want to bring out some sex toys and try something new? Sext it. This harkens back to : First, say what you did; then, say what youre doing; and finally, what you want to do.

If you and your partner having sexted back and forth for a while, and your partner has responded positively to each message, then it's a good time to up the ante by sending some naughty pics. (Sometimes, there's nowhere left to go with words alone!) But before you go ahead and send a pic, ask for permission. I'd text something like, "Can I show you something?" Then, if I got the go-ahead, I'd send the pic.

Dont start with a graphic, full-frontal dick pic. Perhaps take a photo in the mirror, while you're only wearing your underwearor whatever you're comfortable with! The point is to get your partner excited with anticipation, and you can do that at any stage of undress.

Just like the previous step, you have to ask first. Get creative in the way you ask, otherwise it's not sexy. "Wanna see my dick?" isn't cute. But do you know what is? "These undies are getting awfully tight. I think I may have to talk them off. Wanna see?"

You may have noticed I said "nudes" and not "dick pics." Typically, a full-body nude is far more appealing than a zoomed-in, pic of your disembodied, veiny stump. (If you know your partner is into isolated dick pics, then go ahead and send them a pic of the ol' mushroom.)

When done correctly, sexting isn't just "hot" in and of itselfit builds anticipation. When you two finally get to meet in person, you'll be all over one anotherand the sex will be that much better.


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