6 things to know before dating a man with kids

Portia Arthur

July 24, 2017 3:13 PM

You have to learn how to handle difficult situations without treating the child like your own.

Father and baby

The children are his priority

A single parent lives and breathes for his or her children. Be ready to accept them they come first in all things. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about you, he sees you as a grown up and the children as his babies.

When it comes to decision making, his children are the first to consider especially when it comes to finances and fixed assets.

They’ll always have their ex in their life

Learn to tolerate and accept his ex or mother of his children because she is now part of your life. She will occasionally visit her children and the children will try to do a comparison between you and their mother. You will see photos of her, her personal belongings in the house and she will call your boyfriend anytime of the day because she is the mother of his child.

Get to know his ex

Your boyfriend's ex is a great competition for you especially since you will be spending time with her child. You’ll need to be cordial and come to accept their relationship.

Also, you need to show his ex that you’re responsible, respectful, and invested in taking on a parenting role. Because let’s face it, you’ll basically be their stepmom. So, get over your jealous emotions and get involved in your share of the team work.

Always factor the children in your plans

Always be ready to be the next point of call if there is an emergency. You can have alone and imitate time with your boyfriend if he rests assured that the children are safe with their mother or family member.

Understand your boundaries

Be careful with your choice of words and how to discipline them when they go wrong. They are not your biological children, understand the limits and boundaries that you can’t cross. If they children dislike you, their father will eventually leave you.

You have to learn how to handle difficult situations without treating the child like your own. This isn’t going to be easy, but during these situations communicate with the guy you’re with and he’ll support you.

Be patient

Dealing with children is no easy task, especially when they’re not yours. Talk to their mother for tips on how to keep them happy and have a good relationship with them.

If you’re finding yourself overwhelmed, talk to the guy you’re dating and express your feelings. He’ll understand what you’re going through. All in all, don’t be scared to take some time for yourself to de-stress and calm down.

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Portia Arthur