9 things you should know if you are someone’s Mistress

Please don’t get pregnant, I know you think it’ll bring him closer to you but think about your unborn child who doesn’t deserve to be brought into this uncertain situation.

File photo: Man and woman in love

Dear Mistress,

But I won’t say these things to you because I know you’ve heard them over and over again. How do I know? You see, Mistress, I have been you before once.

Actually, I have been you five times. I have dated five married men and this is the biggest regret of my life. I remember the one that I fell in love with. After he took me for a moonlit stroll on the beach, gazed into my eyes and whispered softly, ‘You are so beautiful’, I was hooked.

It hurt like hell to leave him but I had to face the harsh reality that he never truly loved me. I dated another for money and another out of lust.

One day, I realized that I was special and beautiful. I realized that I deserved to have my own man. So I decided never to date another man who was wedded to another and I’ve never looked back. To tell you the truth, I have never felt better!

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Baby girl, this is what I wish someone had told me back then when I was the other woman:

  • Learn to love yourself because you are so special and beautiful; develop a thriving life without him- make new friends, learn to swim or dance or write, start a new project!
  • Don’t hide what is going on, talk to someone you trust who won’t judge you.
  • Keep a journal and read it from time to time; it’ll keep you from ignoring your deepest feelings.
  • Take everything he tells you with truckloads of salt; he lies to someone he made vows to so maybe he’s lying to you.
  • Protect yourself: always use condoms because he’s most probably having sex with his spouse and of course there could be others.
  • Please don’t get pregnant, I know you think it’ll bring him closer to you but think about your unborn child who doesn’t deserve to be brought into this uncertain situation.
  • Don’t waste your energy hating & envying his wife; you don’t know her story or her pain.
  • Believe that you deserve to have a good man all to yourself and don’t give up on finding such a man.
  • Know that you have a choice in this matter; no matter how swept off your feet you feel, you have the final say whether to leave him or to stay; if you leave him, you’ll survive because until you met him, you lived without him and yet you didn’t die.

By By Ekuba Bentil

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