Getting out of a bad, toxic relationship is usually one of the most nerve-wrecking things ever. Especially when you have invested time, energy, effort, finances, your spirit, body and soul into the relationship and loving the other person… breaking it off could take such a massive toll on your psyche.
And one of the ways in which this shows the most is in the [in]ability to trust when you eventually get with someone else. Apart from the fact that leaving could literally break your spirit and healing could take a long, long time… finally getting into a new relationship, and finding the courage to love well, trust properly and allowing yourself be vulnerable enough to go through the motions again… it could really be difficult.
But it is not impossible. And if you find yourself in this situation ever, here is a guide on how to navigate your way out of it:
Talk it through
Your partner needs to know what you went through. It may not be easy for your partner to understand the space, time and all other emotional support that you need when they can’t even relate with your past struggles, or even understand where you reticence and aloofness comes from.
But when you let them know what you have been through, they may know how best to love you, and the required space to give you to really get into the relationship on your terms.
Give it time
You can’t rush trust. Sometimes, it just takes time. If you’re finding it difficult, it might just be that you need to take things at a slower pace and see how you get on.
It is also very important to be willing to trust. You can’t possibly expect to leave your hear closed and unwilling, while expecting trust to rise. You should give your new partner the benefit of doubt.