Sex rut: Here's why sex with your partner feels boring, remedies

When sex is routine, it inherently gets less exciting, perhaps even stale.

Angry couple in bed

In long-term partnered relationships, sex can get routine over time.

As the name suggests, sex rut means that you and your partner have reached a point where the sex you’re having feels mundane, boring and maybe even nonexistent.

There is a multitude of reasons why a couple might find themselves in a sex rut. It might be the stress of everyday life or it may just be a matter of feeling that you’ve done the same moves over and over again.

Regardless of the reason you’re in a sex rut, it absolutely shouldn’t mean that your relationship is over—it is just another area in your relationship that needs fine-tuning.


Here are simple tips to shake things up in the bedroom and shelf that sex rut you’re currently facing:

  • Communicate

Master the importance of being comfortable having conversations with each other about your sex life. Even just acknowledging things that need to be worked on and changed can help.

Discuss your likes, dislikes, fantasies and things you might want to explore together. Also, discuss the things that turn you off and on. This should also include things inside and outside of the bedroom.

  • Change the location

Move from the bedroom to the couch or the floor. This is one of the best ways to spice your sex life. Move away from the everyday bed kind of sex.

  • Try new things

Often it can just be a matter of doing the same things over and over and feeling as though it's a bit boring.

Simply mixing things up can go a long way in making a difference.

Try a new product, a different position, or a new room in the house to have sex in. It doesn't have to be a big change but something small can help.

  • Unleash your fantasies

Don’t be shy of telling your spouse what your sexual fantasies are. Don’t hide your sexual wants and needs because once you both embrace them head-on, it will only get better. When you communicate your sexual fantasies to your partner, you are allowing yourself to be more open, which in fact, is a really good thing for your relationship or marriage.

  • Roleplay 

Role-playing not just in bed but also during date nights can be quite thrilling. You both can play the role of strangers who come across each coincidentally in a restaurant or a pub, and who are instantly attracted to each other. You both can continue this role play back at home, leading to an exciting sex session.


Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or: