The plight of single fathers

Men might have the ability to do all endeavours professionally done by women like cooking, hairdressing and washing, but can they equally nurture a child into adulthood?

Maternal instincts can certainly not be bought with money or power. As a new mother and with the experience gained from motherhood and parenting, I must confess; truly a mother knows what is best for her child as the saying goes.

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With all the issues and complications associated with pregnancy and child delivery, it really baffles me why a mother will abandon her child to  the care of her male partner, whether as a result of a divorce or a one night stand.

I must commend the selfless gender activists who are preaching for fathers to be involved in parenting which is really a relief and morale booster for mothers.


Fathers, aside their financial responsibilities are supposed to help their partners with child upbringing and actively engage in other chores - not let them be completely the responsibility of mothers.

In an interview with some single fathers, it was deduced that some of the children brought up by single fathers have a small chance of success in life. Their academic grades are not encouraging without their mothers to assist them with their homeworks.

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From my own observations as a new mother, I really felt for these fathers. One man I spoke with told me: “My girlfriend got pregnant while in our early twenties. She left the four year girl at my doorstep one fateful Sunday morning.


As a young guy struggling to make ends meet, I always left her with my next door neighbor who promised to care for her as if she was her own daughter whenever I leave home at dawn.

“This woman turned her into an errand girl; she is always late for school and doesn’t get time to do her homework.

“Her grades kept dropping until I located her to my cousin”.

A taxi driver who lives with his son as a result of divorce lamented that “my child is only 8 years old and he has stayed with ten woman who I was dating already and still counting until I find the right woman who my son will love as a mother.

While he is under the care of the woman, I work very effectively to send money to them because I don’t need to worry about picking him up from school, preparing dinner, washing his clothes or attending PTA meetings”.


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A businessman also said “my work is very tedious and time consuming. I leave home early morning and come back around midnight. I only get to see my 6 year old son only on Sundays when we are going to church.

Although he lives in luxury and comfort, he is always carrying a sad face. Factually speaking, I can’t stop work and I have employed uncounted nannies for him who left due to maltreated from him”.

The health of these  children under the care of their busy fathers are in jeopardy. They end up becoming malnourished and often sick as a result of poor parenting and no guidance through their life cycle.

While there are surely many stories of single fathers raising wonderful children alone, we must ask ourselves why a mother would abandon her child in the first place.


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