Learn to hold your man down with your feminine side

Chioma Okafor takes women on ways to hold down their men and make him want her always.

When it comes to a couple's sex life, there are  many things that can cause it to ebb and flow; things like everyday stress with work, schedules and household tasks, are bound to take their toll on sex.

With all the things that can preclude intimate moments with your partner, let us tackle some of the issues that may come up during the encounter which may take away the shine. As a woman a whole lot depends on you to make that intimate moment sizzling and make him want you again and again.

The key to doing this is to unleash your feminine features and get him trapped down,  literally. Yes, you can! You have what it takes to achieve this; the asset which is your body; use it effectively and get him crawling back, again and again.

Now that he has found you, make him stay. A lot of women make this mistake of relaxing once they get into a relationship, forgetting that men needs to be tended like babies. He provides the money and comfort (I know many women who do ), so he needs you to make him feel loved and wanted.

Don't spend your energy searching and fighting that other woman, rather, invest all that energy in making your quiet times memorable. Get his eyes  to be on you by doing the right things;

You own your body and you should use it to effective use; what most men find as a lasting turn on, more than anything else, is how a woman carries herself, starting from her confidence. If you are always down on your body, you can do something about it by working out, if you want, but one thing you must do is to always embrace the skin that you are in.

When you embrace your body, you can flaunt one of your biggest assets; you!

Discover yourself. I have discovered mine and I must tell you a little about the way I use it. I know my eyes and lips drives him crazy, so I make him notice them by wetting my lips with my tongue consciously and rolling my eyes seductively whenever I am talking.

I walk about naked, yes he must notice my cleavage; I get him enticed by revealing my upper body in a captivating way and when he does, hmmm, nothing else matters but ME.

You have to find your own secret weapon and use it.

Another factor that inhibits you is the fear of your erotic nature. Many women fear if they are erotic, they may come across as slutty or cheap. But do not be surprised that this may be just what he wants at times. Have the courage to let go once in a while; be erotic, play to his visual nature, make him notice you, get on top during sex, take charge, have sex with the lights on, look into his face and talk to him, tell him what is going through your mind, hey, no holds barred. He is yours,  remember, and sometimes, telling a man how you feel makes him confident and drives him on.

A friend once told me that whenever he is with his woman and he isn't getting the right expression on her face, it turns him off. Your expressions may determine how far he can go and how much he may want you again.

Another turn off for men is being unresponsiveness in bed. My dear, there is no way can this go down well with him. Having sex with a log of wood isn't what any man would want, so get involved, show interest in what he is doing to you. Your interest must be on him and you should not get distracted by other thoughts so that you can flow with him.

Many men have confessed they get thrilled by the sounds women make, the moans, the screams, the grunts, but don't fake it. Let it come naturally by concentrating on him and the event of the moment; don't get rigid in bed, come on, you wanted him, didn't you?

So loosen up and get active, respond to all his moves on your body. It makes it flexible and pleasurable; tell him where to touch you and ask him where he wants you to touch him too; it's the world for two of you and you must let the vibes flow.

Don't talk too much; obviously talking dirty during sex is good but when a woman keeps striking up random conversation in the middle of sex, this is definitely a mood killer. Be real and let the heat of the moment determine what you say. Don't cram all you heard at the girls' cubicle and bore him with the 'oohhhs, and yeeeh things.'

Guys are smart and he would know when you are into it or just faking it. The interest  you show makes him feel good and relaxed with you and he will want it like that again.

Initiate the move; I will say this, women could be tricky. Sometimes you don't need all those tricks in your relationship, you just want him and you feel like it. So why not make the first move and let him know you want a roll in the hay?

Let him know what you want and do not wait for him to make the first move every time. We girls know that women gets more sexual urge than the guys, (yes), but they only know how to control it better but in your relationship, you must be free with him.

Wake him up sometimes and tell him how you feel, if not by words by actions, snuggle close to him and let him feel the softness of your body. He will understand, they always do. If you expect to get laid at night, send him notes while he is at work via text messages, email, Whatsapp and other social media platforms while he is at work or away from home and tell him what you would have wanted from him if he were with you. It will gladden his heart and he may rush home just to be with you.

Awaken the goddess in you, trap him with sex, blind him in you; men love it when its explosive, so get him to have a different experience by being you, make no qualms about it, learn to explore.

He won't appreciate you more if you make yourself a celibate, so darling wake up and make the moment count.

*Chioma Okafor, a graduate of Mass Communication from University of Benin, is currently on a postgraduate studies at the Psychology Department of the University of Southampton, UK.


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