People often say that the first few months of marriage is all sweetness and love and that’s why everyone talks about the honeymoon period.
The reality, though can be very different. Yes, you will be excited about the future and probably completely besotted with one another, but if you didn’t live together before, now you have to get used to living together all week long, and that can be very different than staying over a few nights a week.
It’s actually quite easy to upset each other in the first few months of marriage because expectations are so high, so read these ten tips for newlyweds and you can avoid some of the potential pitfalls:
1. Don’t focus too much on the little things
The first thing that you are going to notice is all the annoying little traits and habits that your partner has. He never puts the toilet seat back down and she starts making the home to pretty and feminine. Try not to focus too much on these little things and don’t let them cause an argument. It takes time to find a happy balance and to learn live together.
2. Work out the finances
One of the biggest causes of divorce is disagreements over money. Not the most romantic of topics to be discussed in the first few months of wedded bliss, but the sooner you agree on things like paying the bills, whether or not to have a joint bank account and whether or not to buy things on credit, the better.
3. Don’t stop dating
Dating and romance don’t stop the moment that you are married and it is very important that you don’t lose the romance from your lives now that you are married. Even if money is tight in the first few years, you can still afford to buy each other small surprise gifts now and then and go out to dinner or the movies occasionally.
4. Make decisions together
Remember that you are now a team and that you should be making decisions jointly. This is especially important when it comes to finances. You can’t blow a month’s pay packet on new clothes and makeup anymore, you need to discuss it together first.
5. Understand what constitutes cheating
We would hope that real cheating is not on the agenda in the first few months of marriage, but it is worth talking with your partner about what they would consider to be cheating. Even though having a drink with a close male friend might be completely innocent, now that you are married, your partner might be very hurt by this.
6. Don’t panic when the first fight occurs
Fights can happen in any relationship, but when the first one comes it can come as a bit of a surprise! Don’t be upset or disappointed by your first fight, instead work together to find a resolution to the disagreement and that will set a good precedent for how you resolve fights in the future as well.
7. Always be honest with each other
Neither of you should be keeping silent, if something is really upsetting you. You might feel that you don’t want to rock the boat at such an early stage, but it is far better to confront issues now that it is to hide them and suffer in silence. Raise issues in a constructive manner, though, you don’t want to be nagging your partner already!
8. Don’t be afraid to be independent
Don’t be afraid to go to the next room and read a book, if your partner is watching something on TV that you don’t like. You don’t have to live in each other’s pockets now that you are married, and short periods of time apart, will be good for both of you.
9. Remember that it takes effort to make a marriage work
Most marriages don’t just work, they need a bit of effort, and there might be ups and downs. There might even be times in the early months that you question if you have done the right thing. If that does happen then, don’t worry, you’ve just taken a very big step in your life, now you have to make it work!
10. Don’t forget to have fun
The honeymoon phase of the first few months of marriage is a wonderful time, as can be the rest of the marriage, so don’t get too bogged down by these points we have suggested here, just bear them in mind. And remember that, above all else, this is definitely supposed to be fun, so make sure to enjoy the journey and the experience!